SRS talk about a kick in the fuckin teeth :(

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by borborygmus, Aug 13, 2009.

  1. borborygmus

    borborygmus Guest

    backstory: My wife and I (started dating 13 years ago when we were both 16, been married for the past 8) have been trying to conceive for about 10 months now without any luck. We weren't sure if it was her or me or if maybe she was just adjusting to getting off of her birth control medication and it was taking a while. Well, she missed her period last month and we were all like :eek5: and finally thinking that she was pregnant. We were both pretty excited about it.

    She took an OTC pee test a few days after she was supposed to start her period and it came out negative. Instructions on the box said that might happen and to try again in a week. So, we get another test and she does it on monday night (2 weeks late at this point) and it is negative, too. So she makes an appointment with the doctor.

    well, she goes to the doctor on Tuesday morning and he feels "something abnormal" with her uterus when he does her pelvic exam and tells her she has to have an ultrasound. So she calls me all freaked out about it and I take off work and go to the ultrasound with her. They take their fancy pics and say they'll fax all of it over to our doctor and he'll give us a call tomorrow (wednesday). Well, we go home and about 2 hours later we get a call from our doctor. He said that the ultrasound pics show a large intramural uterine fibroid tumor slightly larger than a baseball and that her uterus is swollen to the size of a 3rd month pregnancy. :(

    He refers us to an ob/gyn that specializes in this kind of stuff and we went to see her yesterday. She looked at all of the ultrasound pics and did another pelvic exam on her and confirmed everything that our normal doc said. She said that the tumor is too large to remove with laproscopic surgery, so it will require a standard abdominal surgery to remove (the kind where they slice a huge hole into your stomach muscles). Also, with the tumor being in the muscular wall of the uterus, there is a high chance that they will breach the inner uterine wall during removal and that will make it highly improbable that she'll be able to get pregnant, and if she does get pregnant, there's very little chance of being able to carry the baby to term. Also, she said that we should go into the surgery expecting the possibility that they'll have to completely remove the uterus and that she may need a blood transfusion and could actually bleed out and die on the table. My wife is emotionally crushed and has been crying nonstop for the past two days, I'm barely keeping my shit together.

    I don't know what to do, what to say, or how to react to this. The worst thing we've ever had to deal with was when I broke my ankle last year, and that was a cakewalk compared to this. It is a pretty terrible feeling going into a situation thinking about how you're going to get good news and make phone calls telling everyone "surprise, we're having our fist baby!" when the reality is you have to make the same calls and say "surprise, we're never having a baby!" :wtc:

    I just wanted to get this off my chest, thanks for listening :hsd:

    8/27/09 update - We went and saw a fibroid specialist yesterday and he made us feel much better about it. He did another ultrasound and showed us on screen where everything was and then he described how he would do the procedure and all that. First, they will put her on some kind of hormone inhibitor shot thing for 3 months to shrink the tumor and that he would probably be able to take it out laproscopically and she would only miss 2-3 days of work. Even if he can't do it with the scope, he will just do a c-section surgery and she will only have to miss 7-10 days of work. He also said that he should be able to save the uterus and that he can't see any other reason that she couldn't get pregnant and carry the baby to term. He talked with us for about an hour and a half and thoroughly described all of our options. Sounds like there's hope! :bowdown: :x: :noes:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 27, 2009
  2. blink me

    blink me New Member

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    Sorry to hear that buddy, I know my situation is no where as difficult as that, but keep your head up and be there for her, she's going need it.
     
  3. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    she should ask about donating her own blood now, so they can give it back to her during her surgery.

    they have to tell her/you this. that wont' happen.

    you're going to grieve just like it was a baby. that's normal.

    sorry for your loss.
     
  4. Charles

    Charles Andalucia, mi tierra

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  5. TP

    TP OT Supporter

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    sorry key :hug:
     
  6. feetball

    feetball New Member

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    Damn dude :wtc::wtc::wtc:... i'm so sorry to hear that.

    IDK what to say either ... there is always adoption ... ???

    I'm kinda speechless ... LMK if there is anything C or I can do.
     
  7. borborygmus

    borborygmus Guest

    yeah, she's going to do that, plus her brother is the same blood type as her and her mom is a universal donor.

    I know, but still kind of freaky to hear

    and yeah, this pretty much sucks.
     
  8. borborygmus

    borborygmus Guest

    luckily she has a great support group of work friends, all I have is OT :hsd:
     
  9. Hellraiser M.D.

    Hellraiser M.D. OT Supporter

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    Damn keefy... so sorrry to hear man :(
     
  10. Hellraiser M.D.

    Hellraiser M.D. OT Supporter

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  11. DDila Tequila

    DDila Tequila OT Supporter

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    well as i've offered before, if Lisa needs ANYTHING at all, i'm always out of work at 4 and i know we're just co-worker friends you and I, but I can't imagine how she's feeling so if she needs a friend, i extend that to her as well.
     
  12. feetball

    feetball New Member

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    When does she go in for surgery?
     
  13. borborygmus

    borborygmus Guest

    dunno yet. Doc says she'll be unable to work for a minimum of 4 weeks, probably 6-8. Since she's a teacher and only gets 5 days off, the timing is abysmally horrible since she goes back to school next week. I think we might schedule it for around thanksgiving to minimize the amount of time she'll be out.
     
  14. feetball

    feetball New Member

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    FMLA man ... the gov't is good about something...
     
  15. BigBronco

    BigBronco OT Supporter

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    Damn Keith. :( I wish Lisa the best!.
     
  16. borborygmus

    borborygmus Guest

    ya, true, but she only gets a few paid days per year since she gets off all summer and a few random weeks through the year.
     
  17. Clifton

    Clifton McLAREN FTW

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    damn dude... Sorry to hear this, lemme know if I can helps anyway
     
  18. seismic

    seismic New Member

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    Jesus man. That's awful. I really hope everything works out as best it can.
     
  19. Frito

    Frito New Member

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    Sorry to hear. All I can say is hope for the best and remain optimistic. Right now just try to appear strong for your wife so her fear won't increase. Reassure her and she won't be as stressed.
     
  20. borborygmus

    borborygmus Guest

    ya, I'm trying, I'm pretty good about hiding my emotions and acting like a zombie robot but it is pretty hard to do with this :hsd:
     
  21. Nite_Lilly

    Nite_Lilly Member

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    HUGS and best wishes to you both. Hang in there as well as you can.
    Have you asked the doctor if during the surgery they can remove and freeze some of her eggs for a surregate to carry in the future? That possibility might make you both feel better. Really..., all the best to you guys!
     
  22. borborygmus

    borborygmus Guest

    we haven't asked about that yet because it is all going to depend on what they find when they open her up. It might be possible they can save the uterus and everything will be fine, but it might also be possible they have to take the whole thing out.

    I dunno if I'd want to go through all of the cost/hassle of having a surrogate carry our baby when there are thousands of babies out there that need to be adopted, seems kind of like a selfish dick move to me :dunno:

    I guess we need to start looking into our options :hsd:
     
  23. uneek

    uneek OT Supporter

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    if you guys have disability coverage maybe you can use that, if you're worried about time off?
     
  24. knarxed

    knarxed New Member

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  25. borborygmus

    borborygmus Guest

    she can have 20 days off, after that she has to pay for the substitute teacher out of pocket. I think we have this solved, though. A friend of hers she worked with retired last year and has agreed to come in as a teacher's aid at the beginning of the semester to get to know the kids, then when my wife goes to have her surgery she will be the "permanent" sub until my wife returns.

    if she has the surgery on the 20th of november, she'll only have to miss about 20-25 days because she gets the whole week of thanksgiving and 2.5 weeks for christmas. theoretically she could be back at work when school starts back up in January.
     

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