Taking a hiatus from the dating game

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by radfad88, Feb 6, 2009.

  1. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    Last night I went on another one of several first dates since my SO and I made the final split. The guy was nice and he didn't act like a creep or anything but at the end of the night I wanted to shake his hand, not kiss and hug him. This has happened with every guy I've met or been on a date with.

    I'm having a really hard time adjusting to seeing other guys as romantic interest and not just as friends. I was in love with my ex boyfriend. We didn't end things because I didn't care about him anymore, I was just tired of being taken for granted and arguing over immature, insignificant stuff. One of the main reasons I stayed with him for so long was because I was so comfortable with him and I loved him so much. I didn't like the idea of starting all over with someone new. It's scary to be on a date with someone and not know what their motives/intentions are. At least with him I knew what I was getting into...

    Like I said I've had several dates over the last 6 weeks or so (about 6 first dates) and before each one I really try to get excited about it and be optimistic. I always come back feeling let down and sad and wind up missing my ex even more than before. I think the best thing to do now may be just to decline any future dates and get off the dating horse for a while until I feel better about all of it.

    What does the vag think? Should I give myself more time to regroup alone or is practice the only way I'm going to feel comfortable dating again?
     
  2. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    well if you are going to practice there are a decent amount of guys on this forum that would make good practice if you know what i mean.
     
  3. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    Exactly the reason i'm fucking TERRIFIED of putting myself out there again. I'm not looking for 1 night stands and meaningless sex and I'm so scared because I know like 90% of guys are just like you and are only concerned with that "if you know what I mean". The other 10% are most likely psychopaths.
     
  4. Joshua

    Joshua ambition over everything OT Supporter

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    How long have you been split up? It doesn't sound like you're over your ex at all. Just food for thought.

    I'm pretty good at getting over relationships because I never, ever, ever do the get back together thing. Once it is done I'm done and my mind instantly clicks over to 'next'. Just sounds to me like you need some more time to get over the ex.
     
  5. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    rofl really? Abomb is a relationship guy :rofl:
     
  6. Joshua

    Joshua ambition over everything OT Supporter

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    Your math has unfortunately eliminated 100% of the field. :)
     
  7. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    :rofl: Imagine a world where 90% of the guys are clones of Abomb. That'd probably be rather entertaining.
     
  8. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    :bowrofl: abomb.

    Raddy I think what you meant to say is that 90% are about sex, 10% are psychopaths and then there's jmezz.

    I get my own group.
     
  9. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    I've said it before and I'll say it again I bet abomb is hilarious to hang out with irl.

    I wish the gay bastard lived closer so we could hit up a bar.
     
  10. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    fuck even I want to punch myself in the face sometimes for what comes out of my mouth :rofl:
     
  11. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    finally you broke up with your asshole bf :h5:
     
  12. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Sometimes but the rest of the shit you say is unreal. :bowrofl:
     
  13. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    :rofl:

    well if I am ever stationed near you you can go out and get drunk with a marine officer
     
  14. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    true, there aren't many people like me (brilliant, hilarious, attractive, monogamous, fantastic with money, and awesome in bed).

    Good luck, tho. There are a few I'm sure.

    Just like there are a few chicks out there who are high quality SO material.


    This is why I always say finding a relationship-quality SO is extremely difficult.



































    IBradfad88getsbackwithherassholeex
     
  15. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    I only said that bc of this statement... :hs: sry

     
  16. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    how long ago did you and your ex break up?
     
  17. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    sometimes we all need a good fucking no shame in that
     
  18. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    Beginning of December.
     
  19. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    :wtc: that's not what I want/need.
     
  20. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    you gotta kiss a lot of frogs...
     
  21. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Sounds to me like you've been trying to force yourself to date even though you don't feel ready. Why you don't feel ready is the real issue here from my perspective. Sounds to me like Joshua is right and you still aren't over your ex.
     
  22. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    I would say that I'm through with the relationship we had, but that I still badly miss him and the companionship of a man. My question is, do I keep going on dates knowing I feel kinda crummy before/after them, or do I take some time off and just decline any interest thrown my way?

    Of course, Jmezz. :mamoru:

    I promise that I'm very serious about it. I know that things with him will never change and he is just going to treat me with disrespect no matter how many chances I give him.
     
  23. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Anyway, your ex was not a high quality SO, so you can only go up from here.
     
  24. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    I think you are putting too much pressure on yourself. It's always hard to date again. It's hard to meet people you feel comfortable with right off the bat. And even when you do, it's no guarantee that they feel the same way. Perhaps these dates have been too serious. Maybe something either lighthearted and fun, or super exciting may get you out of your funk.
     
  25. coldstone

    coldstone New Member

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    Yes. You don't sound like you are over your ex. It's not fair to other people if you are gonna string them along when you aren't ready to date.
     

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