SRS Sweet, my relationship is total failure...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by about:blank, Dec 10, 2009.

  1. about:blank

    about:blank Whether you think that you can or that you can't,

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    She was supposed to come over and help me move in with her. I called earlier today and only asked her to help me move my clothes, I am taking care of furniture and other crap. She said sure and said she'll be heading over, I called an hour later and she said she changed her mind. I come home to find my gf drunk by 7:00pm.

    She suffers from depression and is considered disabled by the state. She's been on a bender ever since she heard that she might be losing her job from somebody who overheard her manager talking to somebody else (he said, she said bullshit). She goes on these completely OCD fits of cleaning, so I came home to a mostly wrecked house (furniture moved around, lamps torn out of sockets). How in the holy hell am I supposed to react?

    She's still pretty drunk so there's no point in talking to her. I love her. She's great when she's sober and taking her medicine but over the past couple of days she went of a self destructive fit.
     
  2. ldaggerl

    ldaggerl New Member

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    I've always thought being a bit more tough than loving helps. I'd tell her to stop being a little brat and shape up. She hasn't heard any real evidence that she'll get fired and unless she hears other wise to shape up and get shit together.
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Wow, sounds like moving in is going to be a disaster
     
  4. Eurostaunch

    Eurostaunch New Member

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    You can do better. It's best to move on and not waste your life on someone so unstable. It'll be hard and you may feel guilty after but seriously, you should respect yourself enough to find a woman who isn't mentally disabled/ addicted.
     
  5. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    Is she just "great" when she's sober and on her medication, or is she "the woman for you"?

    If she's just pleasant to be around, all the fighting to live with someone with ups and downs like this will not be worth it.

    If you truly love this woman and want to spend the rest of your life with her, DO NOT pull the tough love trick on someone who is depressed. It will just make them worse. You will have to have an incredible amount of patience and understanding. Read up on depression or research it, or maybe even talk to a doctor briefly at an appointment. It will help you understand her better and you will be able to work through tough times a little easier.
     
  6. Kozzy McKoz

    Kozzy McKoz OT Supporter

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    do not get involved with crazy alcoholics

    They are crazy and alcohlic
     
  7. BoomBoomBoy

    BoomBoomBoy Guest

    Personally I wouldn't consider moving in with her until she gets better. Plan on being immersed in her drama more than you'll care to be. At least you now have your own sanctuary.
     
  8. mr cheese

    mr cheese New Member

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    move on.....

    or do what daria says...

    You either got to cut her out of your life totally...or not

    there is no half measures. You need to start working..to stop her drinking etc.

    Ask yourself, do you want to be with her in a decade?
     
  9. about:blank

    about:blank Whether you think that you can or that you can't,

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    She sobered up last night and I explained to her my point of view, she explained to me her point of view. She gets hung up on her past failures, this job, her old job (that she quit over a year ago) and instead of dealing with them she decides to drink.

    No more drinking for her, otherwise I'm gone.
     
  10. mr cheese

    mr cheese New Member

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    good!

    now keep that going by showering effection on her...

    reassuring her she's a good person, that you love her...
    you want want her:naughty:

    and that she'll be throwing away a good thing if she falls back to her old ways....
    and that ultimatly, you are there for her....but only if she is willing to help herself..because otherwise you're just enabling her.... which is bad for you both..and essentially you'd be a victim of abuse

    but tell her you love her....often
     
  11. DubyaS6

    DubyaS6 New Member

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    I understand that everyone has their issues, but if I feel like I have to babysit someone, I am OUT.

    That may be heartless of me, but I figure that I take care of myself and my own problems so that no one else has to, so I deserve the same in return.
     
  12. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    sadly, i doubt this will be the last time something like this happens. i hope it is, but... :hs:
     
  13. Effervescent

    Effervescent New Member

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    Well what did you expect?
     

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