SRS Suicide

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by PuppyCat, Apr 5, 2005.

  1. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    One of my life long friends committed suicide last Friday. I have known Bob since for well over 30 years and am having a real hard time coming to terms with it.
    How can a person's burden be of such epic proportions that they see the only way out IS the a self-induced final check out?
    Why couldn't he of asked "I'm hurting...I need help"?
    I feel as though my life will never be the same without Bob in and the world has lost an icon.
     
  2. cwm

    cwm OT Supporter

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    You shouldnt ever expect it to be the same. Your friend made a choice. Its something hard to deal with because you will never find resolution via conversation with your friend (unless you have faith in things I do not).

    I would say be reflective on his life and your experiences, but do not dwell on his choice to take his life.
     
  3. BBQ Monster

    BBQ Monster New Member

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    When I was a little younger then I already am, a dear friend of mine commited suicide. It is hard to understand why people that take their own lifes do it. I mean with my friend there were no signs of any stress, or problems. Sometimes people feel they would rather end themselfs then deal with the problems, sometimes they see the problem as something that cannot be solved. It hurt all of my friends, and most importantly his mother, she found him right after he did it. So, when life gets to hard some people can talk, others don't want to lisen, and they can't be saved.

    May I ask if you noticed any change in his behavior?
     
  4. lebomb

    lebomb New Member

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    I lost a friend like you did, except I didnt know him very long. He was my employee, and we became friends. We used to go out after work for happy hour, and go to the gym and workout together. This guy looked up to me, was in college, and had a promising future with our company. One weekend, he put a 9mm to his head and pulled the trigger. Noone really knows why, but all I know is the world lost another life.....he was only 26yrs old and left behind a 2yr old daughter............:wtc:
     
  5. Evil_Gemini

    Evil_Gemini New Member

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    I had a freind in highschool that hung himself in his gf's shed.

    He seemed happy most of the time but he didnt like his father very much. Last time i saw him, he was in a good mood actually.

    He was only 16.
     
  6. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    Speaking from the viewpoint of someone who's nearly killed himself several times (often the only reason I could come up with to NOT was, 'if I do, THEY win') when you're in depression, especially one of that magnitude, you can't see a way out.

    You know what it is you want, and you want it more than anything in the world, but, for the life of you, you cannot see a path to get there. All you can see is a life forever dragging on, without that which you need/want.

    And even though I've been there (and sometimes still am) the only advice I could offer anyone in a similar situation is, take baby steps towards where you think you want to be, stay resolute in the face of set-backs, but, most importantly, accept your life and yourself as what it is now.

    I knew a girl once who was a lot like me... she had similar experiences and problems. However, she got into drugs, while I managed to steer clear (more out of fear than any real fortitude). One day,she jumped off an overpass into traffic. This was after she went into rehab to get clean.

    Strange as it seems, often when you're finally getting your life back on track, the darkness closes in and you feel even worse.

    For the life of me, I cannot say why some people succumb and others don't.
     
  7. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    Oh, and I forgot.We don't ask for help, because we don't see how anyone can help us. Hugs and people being around never helped me feel any better, often I just felt even more alone.

    As for the final checkout, you just want all the suffering to end.
     
  8. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Very accurate. That encapsulates the typical suicide thought process really well.
     
  9. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    You can seem happy most of them time infront of people. But it only takes one day of felling like crap and that you are in hell to just go kill your self.
     
  10. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    like I said, the only reason I'm still here is because I'm stubborn and contrary enough to not want to give 'them' the satisfaction
     
  11. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    The absolute worst of my times, was when my father(and he actually meant it) asked me to go , and hang myself. He said that during one of my worst depressions(when i was jobless,no diploma's,no future, and by severely feeling shit by gf leaving me) I gues the last thing was what really wanted my to die, and having no future because i had no job really made grab a rope and i wanted to kill and hang myself upstairs. I was in full tears and felt like a black hole and dying each second. When hanging myself i really felt like 'this is an easy way out', and not how i should solve my problems. So i untied the rope, and moved on with my life.

    I can only say to you that, it may not show from the outside , but inside all those problems can become a tsunami which can overflow and drown you. It really felt like choking in your problems, it's NOT a place where you want to be.

    My mom said it best maby that you can endure a period in your life when you go down thru a valley, but you can also experience great things. And it's these great things you experience which enable you to cope with the bad things you have in life.

    I hope you don't feel to sad for this person, i know what people can go thru in their lives. If you don't know why you are suffering ,or why you are here in this life, or what your purpose or destiny is, then everything seems meaningless, this meaninglessnes can become attached to your own life, and well if you suffer for a meaningless reason why not end it (which of course is a way of giving you some insight in suicidal thoughts) a normal person gets enough enjoyment out of life, and or has more coping resources to deal with the problems , when the misery outweights your coping resources then it can become very hard, to that point that you choose to step over that line and commit suicide. You friend hasn't committed suicide to hurt you or anyone else , he just wanted to be happy and doesn't understand why life makes him suffer so much.
     
  12. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    I just feel really sad because his burden must have been of epic proportions and he could not voice them. Perhaps if he would have, all this could have been avoided...he had tons of friends, good friends--who would have rallied around him and gave him unlimitless support. I feel just a wee bit angry that he could vocalize his burden.
     
  13. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Its not even that actually its even more likely that he did raise his voice but in a subtle way,or maby he didn't want to burden others with his problems. Depression is a very 'personal' thing you know. And you don't go out singing ' yippeee i m depressed everyone ' so usually its kept quiet, and then it overflows and drowns you. Its just very hard to step over those problems, in the end you have to do it yourself, and if you cant make that step, you 'step out' if you know what i mean. Its no reason to be angry at him, it was just too hard for him.
     
  14. LiQuiD_FuSioN

    LiQuiD_FuSioN New Member

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    If you wonder why a person commits suicide, why does it have to be because of something so sad, it's of "epic" proportions? It can be as small as not being accepted in a clique to losing a family member or friend. It may not be that big of a deal to you, but to the person it is. It's taken very seriously.

    The thought of suicide easily can come to mind, but we think of it as an only way out. We like to KNOW that option is available and imo, this gives a slight amount of hope because that's our last little power we have over ourselves. We can end our own life and leave at anytime.

    There's plenty of times when I the thought of suicide skimmed my mind when I felt extremely pissed or frustrated, but I never tried actually doing it. Actually, I'm half lying because I tried to take atleast 10 depression pills at once, but I consciously held back 30 more pills than I would have taken because my mind was still functioning.
     
  15. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    the only problem with suicide is that no one realizes really the impact of it until they kill themselves and the fact it affects people who they never expected it to impact.
     
  16. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    Yeah because they dont think anyone will miss them.
     
  17. LiQuiD_FuSioN

    LiQuiD_FuSioN New Member

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    Well, if you have friends or a social life that is..
     
  18. LiQuiD_FuSioN

    LiQuiD_FuSioN New Member

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    imo, talking about suicide is a sure sign the person wants help or uses it to gain attention. if you're actually going to DO it and you do want to end life, that's different ofcourse. you have to be at the end of your rope to consciously do that, it's hard to hurt one's self because we're human. tons of factors like drugs, alcochol can contribute to this, they're dangerous things to use when you're already depressed enough.
     
  19. scottymcc

    scottymcc New Member

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    Without the meds I'm in a owlrd of pain and no matter how often I tell people they never really get their minds round it.

    For example I am social phobic but people still think i should be fine to be around others.

    Anywayz there's nothing anyone can do or say (cept give me the meds) to make me feel better.

    The pain is constant and just wears away at you.

    For me I haven't had peace for 11 years. A non stop gibbering of thoughts night and day, fear, terror of doing anything as it will no doubt involve other people.

    However I'm also hyper sensitive so can't actually do anything to end it.

    So I drink. A lot.
     
  20. LiQuiD_FuSioN

    LiQuiD_FuSioN New Member

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    I tried anti-depressants, but i didn't feel anything. I hate being around people, it sux. It's like I have to put out some act and make people think I'm cool. I just want to get home and sleep, is that too much to ask?

    Ever since my parents made me move from place to place, I gave up on friends. Changing schools sucked, I hated everything. All I ever remember doing was going home to watch TV, by myself. My teenage years were among the most dull and pathetic years of my life. Then I found the internet and so I found a way to vent my anger and let my personality unfold.

    i honestly think i'm really ugly and stupid and pathetic. I tried meds as i've said before, i don't feel like committing every day for a pill, sometimes i just forget to take them. bah, i don't even have a life or gf. i only have a job and i'm getting worked like a dog. i'm thinking of taking up smoking and drinking, just to pass the time and maybe get a cheap tattoo.
     
  21. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    It's amazing how this man's suicide has impacted on people's lives. Perhaps if he knew just how people would be affected by his demise he wouldn't have done it.

    Speaking for myself only, I know I shall never be the same.

    I also know that this sadness I have in my heart will take a long time to vanish.
     
  22. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    I do not think drinking solved anything. I asked my SO why he drank...he says it takes his mind off things.

    I often wonder if he gave constructive thought to his issues without booze, perhaps he could resolve his problems.

    I have never thought he was in pain though, alhtough now that I have read your post, it gives me pause for thought.

    Hyper-sensitive...interesting concept. I wish you would expand on that.

    Be well.
     
  23. Tills

    Tills Lets Go Flyers

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    Despair
    Helplessness
    Worthless
    Never Ending
    Burden
    Powerless

    Just some the feelings you have when you think of suicide. It is a low that you can't control. Even if you want help your thoughts are "it will never change", "It will always be like this".
     
  24. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    Biggest problem here is, once you're ready to kill yourself, the effect on other people seems minimal compared to what you stand to 'gain' by doing it.

    Especially because, most of the time, the reason for suicide is because of pain other people have given you. So if they've hurt you enough for you to want to kill yourself, why would you care how they feel about it?

    Oh, and, usually once someone's in that state of mind, everyone becomes kindof lumped into one person, so the crimes of the few become the crimes of everyone.
     
  25. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Think this is very interesting. Because it also shows that the main focus of the suicidal person starts to become self-centered, instead of towards the enviroment.

    while puppy cat says

    Generally known as the ripple effect, that if you put light and love, or darkness and hatred into other people's lives, it will have a domino effect on others that are connected to you.

    Basically everyone's connected to everyone, so the effect can actually be worldwide or even beyond that reach. That person who never thought that his suicide would negativly effect other people's lives has in fact started a chain reaction and thrown a negative brick into the pond, which in its result hurts the people who it is connected with.

    Same thing could be the happyness when a child is born, and its happyness is spread upon others far more then the child would ever know of on that particular moment.

    Its something to think about.
     

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