Such a thing as too perfect?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Crazyjester24, Mar 3, 2010.

  1. Crazyjester24

    Crazyjester24 New Member

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    So I have a question to pose to everyone here, out of my own curiosity.

    Now before anyone asks, yes i am posing this question about myself and yes i am aware that someone cannot be truly perfect in the sense of everything in their life being without flaw but from a relationship standpoint is it possible to be too perfect. When I say "too perfect" i do not mean too nice or a pushover. I simply mean someone that has few character flaws (druggie, alcoholic, unclean/unhygienic, etc) Would this be something that could potentially harm your chances of having a relationship? I ask because from what I have either seen, heard or experienced myself and feel free to correct me if im wrong but sometimes people in a relationship or who are looking, persue someone with character flaws because they are interested in that person and because they think they can change them as well. Just want to see what everyone here thinks of this.
     
  2. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I think girls get caught up by accident in trying to change guys, like if they wind up in a relationship and then they are unhappy with it, they think it's a challenge to improve the guy until they are happy with it. Somewhere along the way they go into "fix-it" mode.

    But it's not what draws them in the first place. I don't think they generally go into the relationship initially thinking, "Ah, great, a fixer-upper. Just what I needed."

    So no, lacking flaws is not unattractive.

    Pretending to lack flaws that you actually have is extremely unattractive, however. :hs:
     
  3. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    I think that if your "perfection" hurts your chances with a girl it's probably a girl you don't want to be dating in the first place.
     
  4. Crazyjester24

    Crazyjester24 New Member

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    See, I would say the same thing, mainly of girls who arent mentally mature. I see it alot in the people around me (college) and being single, i question how some people are in relationships with some of the qualities they show. So the next question becomes, does the personality of the girl factor in?
     
  5. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    Yeah, she might want someone who is similar to her and if she's not that great then the guys she like probably won't be that great either
     
  6. Crazyjester24

    Crazyjester24 New Member

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    Now the next question is one of my own. Obviously no one is perfect, and that is the same for me. I have my own character flaws but for the most part im not your typical college kid. I dont drink, never touched drugs and Im physically fit. Im in the ROTC program here and I already have a 10 year plan laid out for myself. Im generally more mature than those around me, although that doesnt mean i dont have a sense of humor. My big problem is that I continually go after girls who are attractive to me, but most of the time i get burned because Im not on the same page as everyone else. I am/was looking for a relationship, even though I know that in a years time i will be stationed somewhere far away from here, possibly overseas. I am not really interested in the whole one night stand thing. So the question becomes where do i look to find someone who shares similar values? Now, my bad qualities are from what ive been told but im too serious, that im too intense. Now this is true, but i dont see it as a negative aspect really or something that i think i should change. I think that Its my enviroment that is most of the problem as well as the girls i seem to be attracted to.
     
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2010
  7. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Some of the best connections happen between two people who are "not on the same page." Being on different pages is not an actual reason to get burned.

    It sounds to me like you have low emotional intelligence, which causes you to have trouble with girls, but you don't realize that you have low emotional intelligence, so you assume it must be something else, like your values or the fact that you don't drink.

    It is a flaw btw that you don't drink :mamoru:
     
  8. Crazyjester24

    Crazyjester24 New Member

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    How exactly do you consider not drinking a flaw?
     
  9. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    you probably said this as a joke. however, i actually think it is. yes i know, weird.

    why do i think that? bc most of the time people do not drink bc:

    * religion (to me its a flaw to a certain degree)

    * they do not drink bc when they do a certain horrible flaw comes up.


    again... i know im probably in the minority. but, i dont think i could ever date a girl that does not drink. :mamoru:
     
  10. Crazyjester24

    Crazyjester24 New Member

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    I dont drink because theres** a history of alcoholism in my family, and my uncle was killed by a drunk driver, among other things. While i may not like the taste of alcohol I see no problem enjoying it in moderation, the only problem is that 90% of college students do not see it the same way.
     
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2010
  11. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I was joking. I was serious when I said your flaw is emotional unintelligence, though. Different values and whatnot are not what gets you burned. I think it is emotional unintelligence.

    That said, I have no idea what the solution is :dunno:
     
  12. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    I can see you being too serious as a problem for me but I'm sure other girls would go for that. On the other hand maybe you just haven't met the right people to bring out your more playful side :dunno:. As far as where to find girls who share similar values there isn't really a place to look. Just meet girls and weed out the ones who don't share the same.
     
  13. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    so what about people who don't drink but it has nothing to do with those reasons? Maybe some people just don't enjoy drinking.
     
  14. Crazyjester24

    Crazyjester24 New Member

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    I know my seriousness is something that can be seen in a negative light, but its all contextual and for that reason im not willing to change that aspect of myself. You are right though, I think it comes down to the people around me and them bringing out my relaxed side. That and just weeding out the people who dont belong.
     
  15. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    they freak me out :noes::mamoru:
     
  16. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    you're weird :rofl:
     
  17. Genghis.Tron

    Genghis.Tron New Member

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    So basically you know you don't fit in, you know why you don't fit in BUT you don't want to change yourself.

    Other than getting along with other people I don't see how we can help.

    Basically, this is probably right :

     
  18. Crazyjester24

    Crazyjester24 New Member

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    Do I not fit in with the college population? No, you are correct but at the same time do i see that as a negative aspect of my life? No. I am not going to become less disciplined, start drinking or smoking just to fit in with people around me. I shouldnt have to change who I am so that others accept me. If I saw my seriousness as a negative quality then yes I might change it, but in reality it hasnt done anything to hurt me. How many college students do you see that get up at 5:00am so they can go work out? Aside from those in ROTC like myself and athletes, not many. I guess what I'm trying to say is that yes, I dont fit in to the current population but I dont see the point in changing myself just for the sake of pleasing others. I get along with people just fine most of the time, but I dont see the sense of self or the sense of direction in alot of my peers. Im pretty understanding 90% of the time and realize that while i may not enjoy something like those around me (for example, drinking) Im not going to tell them what they are doing is necessarily wrong unless it starts impacting their life in a negative way.
     
  19. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    You sure as fuck don't sound perfect to me.

    But it sounds to me like what you're actually trying to get at is compatibility and finding someone who is right for you. If you want to know where to meet people who don't drink and are physically fit, then it seems like joining a physically active singles activities group would be perfect for you.
     
  20. Spaceering

    Spaceering I bite.

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    mind expanding on this? what does emotional intelligence entail, and lack of for that matter?

    (i am going to look this up, but your expansion on this area would probably make more sense.)
     
  21. Crazyjester24

    Crazyjester24 New Member

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    I never claimed to be perfect, the original was just a thought i had. Im a psychology major with a focus in social psychology so a lot of this stuff interests me. Now does this question have a bearing to me? yes, but if you read, nowhere do i claim i am perfect.
     
  22. wolfskymoon

    wolfskymoon Guest

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  23. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    So then what is the point of this thread? You're either too perfect or you aren't. If you aren't then this thread becomes a moot point.
     
  24. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    this. you probably need to meet girls in places other than college, especially if you are finding that the majority of the girls you meet in college are not compatible with you. are there any girls in the ROTC program?
     
  25. Crazyjester24

    Crazyjester24 New Member

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    There are but most if not all share the exact same qualities as those around me in the regular college setting. That or they arent very attractive to me.
     

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