Stupid women trouble, just need a quick slap to the face

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Daveee, Sep 21, 2008.

  1. Daveee

    Daveee New Member

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    Background - I'm a month shy of 20, she's a few months shy of 22.

    Historically I have never really gone out of my way to seek out women...I usually played the "dark and mysterious" card and let them come to me. I also had it beat into my head by my sister as I was growing up that women should be respected and not simply treated as objects, something which stuck with me to a degree. Because of that conditioning, I often have a hard time trying to figure out when to make the move, whatever that move may be.

    The girl in question is someone with whom I worked for a few months (she quit recently). We had talked a few times at work and had hit it off...we each noted that there was a physical attraction, and a couple of other people at work (who were more her friends than mine at the time) even tried to facilitate our hooking up.

    I went to lunch with her, we had a good time...later that week she suggested that we hang out again. I mentioned a nice restaurant in town that I had heard good things about and we made plans to head out there sunday night. I ended up having to work late (past 9) so I had to call it off. The next night she invited me out to a local bar with her and a couple of her friends. We had a great time, and around last call we started making plans on where everybody was going. One of her friends had drove to the bar, so they went home, but the other friend had been picked up, so she ended up deciding to come and stay at the house of the girl I'm interested in. She eventually passed out in the spare room in the basement, and homegirl and I headed to her room.

    Here's where this shit gets confusing.

    Like I said before, sometimes I have a hard time knowing when to make the move. However, generally, when a girl invites me back to her bedroom after a night of drinking, I'm pretty god damned sure what "the move" is going to be and have no problem making it.

    For some reason I cannot understand, I didn't try to sleep with her, and she didn't jump on me as typically is the scenario. Maybe I actually like the girl enough to not be worried about having sex with her right away - bottom line is, the only thing that happened that night was us falling asleep in her bed. I was pretty fucking plastered at this point of the night, so all I remember prior to our going to sleep was that we were in the spooning position, and that is not something I'm pretty experienced with doing with someone who I have not just finished having sex with.

    In any case, later that week I just flat out asked her if inviting me into her bed like that was some sort of test to find out if I was going to try to sleep with her, and she acted like she was slightly offended by the insinuation and asked why I would think something like that. The last time I hung out with her was when we went to a house party on Friday night, and neither of us really made any advances towards each other - we didn't even kiss, which we had done the last couple of times we had seen each other.

    I'm completely out of my element and have no idea what I'm doing, why I'm doing it, or what the situation now is. I've never had this particular issue with a girl, and I'm a little confused as to what I should do now. Is she just trying to play hard to get? Should I continue to try to facilitate conversation and hang out with her or let her cool her heels for a while and wait for her to contact me first? I feel like a dumbass, and I'm sure I sound like one as well, but for some reason this girl is really fucking with my head and I would like a little advice from an outside viewpoint.
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You don't really need a slap to the face here IMO. Just because you didn't sleep with a girl on your first date because it would have been "easy" doesn't make you some kind of failure. It also doesn't mean you'll ever get another chance.

    You were "plastered." In my opinion I would never want to have meaningful sex with a guy when we were both wasted and
    1. Wouldn't remember it well
    2. It was sloppy and terrible
    I personally feel it was better you didn't just have the easy lay.

    However, it was stupid and pointless of you to ask of her intentions when inviting you to her bedroom :uh: Never ever do that again. You have to act as if you know what you were doing. In your case you knew you weren't going to sleep with her and just wanted to sleep with her; no need to bring it up as if it was awkward.

    Sounds like she was weirded out by your post-sleeping actions and now she's waiting for you to make a move to show how you feel, but you are being awkward and ignoring her as well.

    I say call her right now and invite her on a date you already have planned in your mind. Make a joke that you want it to be a non-alcohol-involved date. Go on said date. Sleep with her if it comes to that :dunno: Sex doesn't have to be rushed to validate feelings for one another.
     
  3. Daveee

    Daveee New Member

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    Yeah -- that was really a stupid fucking question, wasn't it? I don't even know what I was thinking when I asked that...it was phrased half-jokingly, but still...not such a good idea.

    What you suggested was actually what I was planning on doing...but should I do it now or give her a few days? I was just going to call her and say something to the effect of "hey, why don't you let me take you out to dinner to make up for that dumb ass question I asked the other day?" :rofl: maybe that wouldn't be such a good idea either, eh?
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I say pretend that comment never happened honestly, but I do think you should call her, today is fine. But you need to have a date in mind when you call :)
     
  5. Daveee

    Daveee New Member

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    I did have a specific date in mind when I called a few minutes ago, but she didn't answer. Now I guess I get to play the game of "will she call back?"
     
  6. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I am going to be extremely surprised if you are not friendzoned at this point. Especially asking her that crazy question.

    Yeah, you need a slap in the face for that, and yeah the next time you hang out you should probably try to make a move. Don't be surprised if you get shot down, though.
     
  7. Daveee

    Daveee New Member

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    yeah, no kidding...I really can't believe I was dumb enough to ask a question like that, especially to a girl who I really like...that was just fucking stupid
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    It won't be the last time you say something stupid, trust me. The good thing is you realized it and now can learn from it.
     
  9. Daveee

    Daveee New Member

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    I don't understand this broad. She texts me today like nothing happened.

    I asked her if she wanted to go out to dinner Monday night, she already had plans to go to a bar (actually, the same bar we first went out to) with a few friends, and she invited me to come. I can't figure out if she's just trying to subtly friend zone me or if she really does have some interest.
     
  10. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Yeah, like I said, I'd be surprised if you aren't friendzoned.
     
  11. KindlyCuddly

    KindlyCuddly Irina Lazareanu

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    what is so surprising/confusing about that? just go to the bar and see what happens.
     
  12. Daveee

    Daveee New Member

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    to be fair, I know from reputation that she is fairly vocal about being against having sex with people you just met, so she might see my hesitation there are more endearing than anything else...I guess we'll find out
     
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2008
  13. Daveee

    Daveee New Member

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    I don't know, I guess I just suck at playing this game...in high school and the year following high school before I moved out here, I thoroughly enjoyed it and was pretty damned good at it. Now I just don't feel like even fucking dealing with the drama and all I want is for the other person to shoot straight with me like I shoot straight with them about things like this.
     
  14. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    That's a crock of shit.
     
  15. 96SupraTT

    96SupraTT New Member

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    Dude, STOP THINKING. Just go with the flow dude. :eek4:
     
  16. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I don't think you are friendzoned :dunno: I've given guys numerous chances before. Hell, my current bf came to our 1st real date plastered and I still talked to him a few days later and invited him out :rofl:

    I say go, but tell her "I'm going because I want to see you, but you are going out with me *enter day*!"
     
  17. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    The moral of this story is, you're not going to know until you make a move (at least move in for a kiss or something).
     
  18. Daveee

    Daveee New Member

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    Why do you say that? I would tend to agree with that belief too. I've never had a REAL relationship before, just extended fuck-buddy hookups, and I'm tired of that shit.

    Wish I could, but that's my major problem...I'm confident in social situations but when I get out of those situations and start thinking about it on my own I get paranoid.

    Sounds like a good plan. I'll go out tonight with them and see what happens. Could just be that I misjudged her intentions from the beginning and I was friend-zoned from the very start without realizing it, or she could be madly in love with me and I would have no clue. I guess we'll find out.

    Oh, I'll at least move in for another kiss...hell, what's the worst that can happen? It's not like she works with me anymore, so if for some reason I decide not to ever talk to her again, it wouldn't be difficult to do.
     
  19. Daveee

    Daveee New Member

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    and to append my previous statement, strangely enough - sex is not on the top of my list right now. I know what sex is, what it feels like, how great it is, but what I DON'T have any experience with is a meaningful, reciprocal, mutually respectful relationship. THAT, strangely enough for a 19 year old male, is what I would like to find out about, not only how good she is in the sack.
     
  20. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I know, and that's fine.

    But holding off on sex doesn't mean you have to hold off on all sexual contact.
     
  21. Daveee

    Daveee New Member

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    well that went fucking well :ugh:
     
  22. Daveee

    Daveee New Member

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    The bartender at the bar we went out to tonight served me because he thought I was 21+...

    The waitress working that night was a good friend of the girl I'm interested in and a few of the other people we were out with, and she knows I'm not 21...so halfway through my second beer (right after last call) she slides in, grabs my beer, says "you're not old enough to drink," throws down the 2 bucks and says that greg (the bartender) wants us to leave

    Of course the girl I'm talking to is apologizing to me for her friend's DUMB fucking maneuver (how the fuck is bringing to the bartender's attention that I'm under 21 going to help her "not get fired"? Doesn't that seem a little fucking counter productive if she's trying not to get in trouble for me drinking underage? She didn't even fucking serve me...) I'm apologizing to everyone else (even though we were practically on the way out the door already when this happened).

    We get back to the girl's house that we met up at, she's in tears because of something that happened with her and a guy she knows, so my apology for my dumb comment the other day (which she laughed off and said was funny and that she didn't hold it against me at all) was cut short by her having to go tend to her friend and make sure everything was okay. At least I told her we WERE going out for lunch on thursday and wouldn't take no for an answer, which she agreed to...and then I peeled the fuck out because I had enough drama for the night at that point

    what a shitty night that turned out to be
     
  23. Bacardi 151

    Bacardi 151 New Member

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    Wow what a lame move by her friend. :ugh:
     
  24. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Lame. But you got a date set up with JUST THE TWO OF YOU now and that is all that matters.
     
  25. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I'm still going to say that you are friendzoned.
     

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