Stupid kids and their not-shit cars.

Discussion in 'OT Driven' started by deusexaethera, Sep 4, 2008.

  1. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Some dude on PassatWorld posts a thread asking "what is the EVAP valve for?" So I go in to answer his question, that it lets the engine suck fumes out of the gas tank instead of letting them evaporate, and what do I find? He's asking what it's for because he wants to remove it.

    His justification is he wants to remove everything that doesn't add power -- he's already removed half the exhaust, the A/C, the power steering, etc -- but unlike all of those, the EVAP canister doesn't cost any power either! To which he responds by calling me a fucking tree hugger and saying he'll only lose a couple gallons of gas a year through evaporation, and removing it will lighten the car. But, you know, he doesn't want to remove the rear and passenger seats, which weigh probably 15x as much as the whole EVAP system combined, because that will make the car look funny.

    Of course, I've been labeled a tree hugger because I don't see the logic in removing emissions equipment that doesn't even steal any power, so it doesn't matter what I say at this point. I got news for you kid, it's a 3600lb car with a 1.8L engine. It's not gonna go fast no matter how much shit you remove.

    :rolleyes: Some people.
     
  2. Smelly-Kitten

    Smelly-Kitten Dept. of Redundancy Department *Side Pipes

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    Tell him to remove the rear drive shaft too because taking away AWD doesn't loose power but reduces weight. Oh and brakes too - fucking heavy things, those.
     
  3. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Heh...I'm pretty sure his is FWD like mine. Kinda makes it even more sad.

    Good point about the brakes, though. I'm sure he could stop fine with just the rears. I'll pass along the suggestion.
     
  4. Smelly-Kitten

    Smelly-Kitten Dept. of Redundancy Department *Side Pipes

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    make a list for him given his criteria for what's not needed. Start it off like:
    stereo/speakers
    sway bars
    air filter
    carpet
    hood...

    don't need any of those to make power, and it's still street legal. Genius
     
  5. Smelly-Kitten

    Smelly-Kitten Dept. of Redundancy Department *Side Pipes

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    Then i'll race him pulling a trailer full of all the stuff he took off.
     
  6. boomer69

    boomer69 New Member

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    Sounds like you finally found a boyfriend...............congrats!
     
  7. notaniceperson

    notaniceperson -I'm an ASSHOLE!

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    Link to thread so we can OT pummel his ass.
     
  8. PanzerAce

    PanzerAce Active Member

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    :rofl:

    Best part of the entire thread.
     
  9. Mitchj

    Mitchj OT Supporter

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    there is a forum were Volkswagen passat owners socialise? :rofl:

    Also, were is the not-shit car bit?
     
  10. art_VW_shark

    art_VW_shark OT Supporter

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    a b5.5 is really 3600? :noes::noes::noes::noes:
     
  11. MeanGreen

    MeanGreen New Member

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    I took my front sway bar off :squint:
     
  12. Smelly-Kitten

    Smelly-Kitten Dept. of Redundancy Department *Side Pipes

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    i don't think the FWD guy is drag racing:squint:
     
  13. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Oh yeah. Gross weight on a B5 is 3500 and change; B5.5 is a bit more with the traction control, larger body panels, and other such nonsense.

    I hate VW's traction control. I was driving a loaner Jetta back when I was dumb enough to let the dealer work on my car, and the traction control light was blinking around every corner. I did the next guy a favor and pulled the fuse before I gave the car back. They probably never figured out what was wrong.

    Which reminds me, for those people who have traction control and want to keep it but don't want it on by default: I found out a really good mod to automatically "push" the traction-control-deactivate switch as soon as you start the car. What you do is you get a small cylinder capacitor (around 100-200 microfarads) and you solder it to the wire contacts on the back of the traction control switch. When you first turn on the car, the capacitor will let electricity flow through, but once it's charged up, it stops letting electricity flow -- as far as the ECU is concerned, it looks like you pushed the switch for a moment and then let go. Then when you need traction control turned on, you can just press the switch to enable it again.
     
  14. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Definitely not. Virtually everyone who's tried it without major structural mods has snapped their transmission mounts or worse. One dude tried to do a fish-hook (reverse burnout, powershift, forward burnout) and destroyed his synchronizers and shift linkage.
     
  15. Mitchj

    Mitchj OT Supporter

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    thats the dumbest thing i've ever heard you say.
     
  16. dr.zed

    dr.zed DR.ZED OT Supporter

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    My Jetta is ~2800 lbs, are the Passats that much heavier??
     
  17. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Explain.
     
  18. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Yeah, they are. It's a totally different frame, and the Passat is considerably larger than the Jetta.

    And that was ten years ago. It's worse now.
     
  19. art_VW_shark

    art_VW_shark OT Supporter

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    ACS? mine isn't that invasive at all
     
  20. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    I guess it's different on the Mark 5's, but it was seriously driving me crazy. I know how to drive -- my Passat is the first car I've ever driven that even has ABS -- and I was definitely NOT striping the pavement around corners in this Jetta, but the traction control light was blinking constantly, and cutting engine power. So I shut it off, but the next trip to get lunch it did the same damn thing, so I pulled the fuse and the car drove fine after that.
     
  21. retorq

    retorq What up bitch??

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    How the fuck is an asshat modding a Passat American Muscle??
     
  22. art_VW_shark

    art_VW_shark OT Supporter

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    :dunno: they have it there for a reason. they wanna keep you out of trouble. let's remember this isn't a C6Z
     
  23. no shit, I was thinking the same fucking thing
     
  24. Perfect Speed

    Perfect Speed OT Supporter

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    Tell him VWs are gay. seriously fuck those heaps




    (I owned 5 of them and really liked em once, then realized FWD sucks for anything other than a commuter car and that I'll never own one again)
     
  25. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    It's not American Muscle (unless you accept the argument that I'm American and I have muscles), but if I posted this in Eastern or Euro Imports, I'd get hated on by the same sorts of people as the guy I was making fun of.
     

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