SRS stuck between a rock and a hard place - friends break up - rant/advice

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by bigman7903, Jul 31, 2005.

  1. bigman7903

    bigman7903 OT Supporter

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    ok this is long and involved so i'm going to try and keep it fairly simple

    nearly 4 years ago this kid i knew of vaguely cameover and took me car audio shopping, we have since become very close friends and are nearly insepparable to the point where we will walk into each other house at random times. several months before we began hanging out he started going out w/ his girlfriend. we all statrted hanging out on a regular basis with about 8 other people. unfortunatly our little group is down to 3. me him and his girlfriend. i have also become very good friends w/ his girlfriend as well (not sexually just good friends).

    he went to college last year (i'll be a senior in HS next year he'll be a soph in college) and didn't liek it at all and there fore his grades werent to hot. needless to say hes isnt the same person as he was pre college. his girlfriend graduated this year from HS and has also changed alot also, she didnt really have anythng to do while he was away and became a total loner (despite that i was friends w/ her and talked frequently).

    once this summer came along the fighting began betwen the two of thm but it was always short lived and eevrything worked itself out. well it's getting worse because hes worried about next year and shes nervous about college in general so tension has been high lately and the shit has been flying lately.

    they broke up like 4 hours ago and i have no idea what to do

    i have no idea what to do, i'm afraid of either being lost in the shuffle between the two and lose both friends because of the breakup, or i will lose both friends because i try to help both of them and they see it as taking sides

    ideally they'll work it out and everything will be peachy but i really doubt it because i know that both of them would be better off alone and start fresh this semester at college (they will be 500 miles apart and she starts in 2 weeks). but i also want them to work it out so it can be the way it used to be

    any advice on how to handle this fucked up situtation will be great thanks
    :hs:
     
  2. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    1. People change. Circumstances change.
    2. Explain to them both how you feel.
    3. Don't take sides.
    4. Stay out of it, their relationship is their problem.
    5. Realize that "things" may not go back to the way they used to be and you might have to accept that.

    I do hope tho that everything works out.
     
  3. Mars Princess

    Mars Princess They hatin'

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    you will see people change a lot after you graduate high school, especially if they move to differnt areas of the state or country. That is not to say that you will lose contact altogether, but get ready to deal with people changing, trying new things, and surprising you.

    I know you all are close and it will be hard to seperate yourself from this, but don't get concerned about the relationship part of this. Just try to be "there" for each person or as both of them as friends...it may end up that one of them or maybe both will think you are choosing sides..now if they try to put you in the middle of it and use you to get back at one another, chunk the deuce and let them cool off ..

    but yes, changes are ahead...I too hope things work out. keep in touch...dont let good people go without a fight man or at least leave on a good note
     
  4. kungfuwoo

    kungfuwoo New Member

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    My closest and best friends are from high school - i have some great friends from college, but nothing like the friends from home. I'd say that you'll still be friends with them, but I'd probably pick the guy over the girl cuz you guys will probably be friends for life, girls that you meet through your buddy....that doesn't usually last.
     
  5. johan

    johan Active Member

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    I think this change was inevitable.

    People are supposed to change between their elementary school/high school/college days. It'd be really really sad if they didn't.

    You should just try to be friends with them, together, or individually if necessary.

    They weren't going to be a package deal forever, the two of them and you until you're all in your 90's, a senile little troika, all three madly rocking away on the porch of the rest home.... Right?

    So...just be friends with them. If one of them wants to bitch...listen and be supportive.

    You don't have to slag one, in order to be supportive of the other one. Just listen and offer support.

    Secondly...you need to exert real effort in making new friends. Seriously.
     

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