strip clubs

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by StuDLei, Feb 21, 2005.

  1. StuDLei

    StuDLei Death before Dishonor

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    Is your gf cool with you going to strip clubs? whats her take on it and does it bother her? what about dollar/lap dances. This is a huge problem with my gf. It really really bothers her alot and I hate that it bothers her so much but I dont know if I can give it up. I like to go. She says she feels inadequate and I try to explain to her that she is the most beautiful/sexiest girl in the world to me. I like to go because well guys like to go....drinking beer with friends while watching naked woman and ESPN is fun..what can i say? Are there any girls on here than can convince my girlfriend that just because I like to go has no affect on my feelings for her etc. Is it fair of her to ask me not to go?? Just looking for some outside opinions here.
     
  2. neebelung

    neebelung Guest

    I personally have no problem with strip clubs, and have actually gone with one of my Exes (well, when he wasn't an Ex) on several occasions. My current BF used to go quite a bit with his friends when he was single, and I'd have no problem if he went now (I'd probably just go with him, actually).

    But there's really no way for us (as in girls on this site) to convince your girl that it has no effect on your feelings for her. You said so yourself -- this is a huge problem for her. It sounds to me like she might be a bit young, and still somewhat insecure (something most of us grow out of, but not everyone does). But it's going to take continued reassurance from YOU that she's beautiful, that she's desirable, etc... in order to get her past these insecure feelings.

    You say you "don't know if (I) can give it up." WHY? Agreed, it's a fun thing to do now and then... but if you care about her, and you know she has a problem with it, why not give it up for a while? Are you going OFTEN and spending a lot of money there or something, leaving her sitting at home wondering what you're doing? (I'm just trying to understand what specifically she has a problem with)

    It IS in fact fair for her to ask you to stop going... That doesn't mean you have to do what she asks, but if this is a girl you're serious about, and you care about her feelings, then you ought to at least consider it. What if the roles were reversed, and she was going out to the bars with her girlfriends, dressin sexy and getting drunk every weekend without you there.... would it be fair of you to ask her to stop doing that? Of course it would be. And if she cared about you, she'd do as you ask.

    Just be patient with her.... keep reassuring her... and try to understand just what it is speficially that she objects to (does she think you're going to hook up with a stripper, or it it just that she just doesn't feel she's as sexy as the girls in the clubs) so you can address her concerns and hopefully get her to work through them.

    Good luck!
     
  3. StuDLei

    StuDLei Death before Dishonor

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    Shes almost 26. I dont know if it her being insecure or what. She says that it makes her feel inadequate. She says that I dont understand how she feels, which i feel is untrue. I understand how she feels and hate to make her feel like that, but I feel like she needs to get over it. I am attracted to her for more than any of these girls or all of them combined. hell when i go there without her i cant wait to get home to her. i dont know why she feels inadequate. i mean there are more attractive girls(physically) in this world than her. and there are more attractive guys than me. who cares? And yes i tell her how beautiful she is constantly..and i mean it. I was willing to compromise on the lap/dollar dances and i have. but not going anymore?? i just dont know if i can do that. she is a million times more important to me than the strip club...and a million times more important than my playstation too...but if she asked me to give up my playstation i would tell her to take a walk. Am I being an asshole by telling her Im not willing to stop going or what?
     
  4. BedBunny

    BedBunny Guest

    let me ask you this: would you be cool with her going to a male strip club, and having the same things go on there that you see going on at the strip clubs you go too? be truthful.
     
  5. StuDLei

    StuDLei Death before Dishonor

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    the situation is im in iraq right now and the topic came up. which is my fault...i told her that a year ago when i went(the only time i got a lap dance while i was with her) that a girl let me touch her boobs for like 2 seconds. for some reason i felt really guilty about it this one particular day. and i told her about it and she flipped out. which is understandable. at first she was extremely upset etc and we worked it out on the phone. she said she hated strip clubs and doesnt want me to go but doesnt want to throw our relationship out for them....she thinks its worth more than that. and so do i. it seems like such a stupid thing to throw out a relationship on. so we agreed to the chowline only thing(which im pretty cool with). well the next day i had two emails and she was IRATE again(i guess it just really got to her over the night and throughout the day or whatever) and she gave me an ultimatum of her or strip clubs. i told her that i wish she didnt put me in that position but i chose her. i know that she is not trying to be a bitch about this( i dont really think she is) it just really bothers her that much. well the fact is is that i dont know if i can never go again. i like to go. it has no affect on my feelings for her whatsoever. i dont go there wishing my girl looked like them or any of that bullshit. its just fun...what guy doesnt like to see lots of naked women? i mean i am going to have a son someday that turns 18..i wanna take him there his first time. i think in time she will not make me never go again. but it bothers me that she gave me that ultimatum. i think there is an understanding between us that someday it will get worked out and she will be cool with me going/us going again.... i should probably just wait the 6 more weeks i have until i get home to talk about it huh?
     
  6. neebelung

    neebelung Guest

    Are you an asshole for not being willing to stop? Um... in a word? Kinda. But the comparison of being asked to give up your playstation versus giving up going to the strip clubs isn't quite a fair analogy... it might seem the same to you, but it's not. To her, the club represents all of her greatest fears about her looks, her body, her sex appeal....

    And it's not as simple as just "getting over" her feelings of inadequacy. Chances are these are deeply rooted feelings that she's had most of her life, and quite possibly the guy she was with before you contributed to it. Who knows. But she's not going to "get over it" just cus you ask her to. (I WISH it were that easy, but it's not... *sigh*)

    I dunno... I'd suggest possibly inviting her to go WITH you sometime, so she can see what it's all about for herself.

    But if she doesn't, and stands her ground on asking you to not go, I'd say give up the clubs... it sounds like she's far more important to you than the clubs are (and again, just how often are you going that you're so stubborn about it?? lol)
     
  7. BedBunny

    BedBunny Guest

    if it were me i would let you go, but see my post above and maybe you can soul search and see where her feelings are coming from.

    and yeh.... that 6 wks and being face to face again is going to make all of this issues easier to iron out.
     
  8. StuDLei

    StuDLei Death before Dishonor

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    yeah i think i would be cool with it. but honestly male strip clubs knda make me laugh..i mean what do they do there??? lol do they put their pecs in the girls face or what? but yeah i think i could handle it. i mean have any of you girls been to a male strip club? what is it like? what the hell do they do on stage or for a dollar/lap dance??
     
  9. neebelung

    neebelung Guest


    Wow, man, I didn't realize you're overseas right now. First off, thank you!!

    Ok, that said, yeah, I'd wait till you get home to discuss things. The last thing either of you need right now while you're away is to be spending your time arguing via email or phone... just drop the issue for now, and once you're home (and settled in) talk about it with her. Who knows... the fact that you're away and she's missing you might be causing her to act strangely (not to mention people could be feeding her bad info about what it is guys DO when they're overseas and away from home, which could lead to adding to her insecurities).
     
  10. neebelung

    neebelung Guest

    Ick. Yeha, I've been to a male strip club. It was gross. Oiled up, greasy gay-looking guys dangling their goodies. I didn't see any of the lap dances, nor would I have paid for one... these guys were built, but still seemed super feminine (no body hair) so it wasn't the least bit sexy to me... lol
     
  11. BedBunny

    BedBunny Guest

    yeh, their pecs, but their cocks and their ass, too. sure, their cock may be in a speedo or something but it doesn't leave anything to the imagination and they will rub it all over you so you can feel that it is hard.

    i have went before where the strippers took their cocks out for us all. i mean it can get pretty down and dirty.

    you ok with your girl going to those shows, and telling you she likes to go?
     
  12. StuDLei

    StuDLei Death before Dishonor

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    she gone with me almost everytime...which is fine by me. i like her to go with me..i mean yeah sometimes i like to go with just the boys but most of the time i prefer her go...for the simple fact that i like to go out ANYwhere with her as to opposed with just my friends.
    for the record no i didnt go very much. i think i went like 3 times by myself in the 10 months we were together before i left. we went out there together a bunch of times...maybe like 7. so overall about once a month. never spent alot of money there...im not into that. fact is im gonna miss going with her...and i used to think it was really cool to have a gf that was cool with me going and that went with me. i used to brag a little about it to my boys u know? that was really cool of her....by the way i know there are going to be girls here that say well u fucked up when u touched that girls boobs...and your right i did. but just for the record she has fucked up by letting strippers pull her shirt up and kiss a boob so we are about even on that fact. i say lets just forget the shit and move on. again i know this will have to wait until i get home to be talked about again probably but damn...i really dont know for sure if i can give up going completely for her. maybe i am an asshole but i really dont think i am. thanks for the replies so far..keep em coming..i like to hear lots of opinions
     
  13. StuDLei

    StuDLei Death before Dishonor

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    id be cool with her going and seeing naked guys. as far as some guy riding his hardened cock on her....lol..i dont know. i suppose yeah. it seems really funny to me personally but yeah. hell if she wants the dude to sit on her lap no problem. she can even touch his body minus his fucking dick. i dont and would not ever touch a girls ahem pussy so yeah...i would be cool with it.
     
  14. BedBunny

    BedBunny Guest

    well there is where it's not fair. you can touch boobies but not pussy so you say she can't touch dick. there is no male equivalent as nice as female breasts to balance the equation. ;)
     
  15. suspicious

    suspicious New Member

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    man boobs? :rofl:
     
  16. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    My ex hated them. She doesn't know that I've been to them :mamoru:
     
  17. It seems that a Strip club is the safest place for a S/O to go. If you even try to touch the girls your hand could be snapped in half. She walks off points you out to a few of the bouncers and then Bam! the door just closed behind you. If she thinks that you are going to be going home with one of these women, invite her to one of those afterhours strip club. The one where the main talent leaves after 10pm and the locals finish the night. After seeing some of those ladies, she might just laugh every time you leave for the club.
     
  18. BedBunny

    BedBunny Guest

    moobs aren't the same as supple female breasts :p
     
  19. IslanderOffRoad

    IslanderOffRoad Do you even lift kit? OT Supporter

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    My girl doesn't mind, but I think strip clubs are a waste of money.
     
  20. StuDLei

    StuDLei Death before Dishonor

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    my gfs email-
    "I just got to thinking about it again and decided that I can't deal w/ you going and constantly wondering what you're doing and if you're doing anything if you were going to keep it from me again or if you'd tell me and if you told me would it be everything or would you leave stuff outlike you did this time.... I can't help that change of heart its just how I felt and you needed to know and I needed to feel secure about how much you love me and about our relationship and w/ me worrying about you goign to the strip club I wasn't feeling secure about anything..."

    So i think it really is a security issue. The fact is she doesnt trust me anymore. I had a really hard time trusting her for some stuff she did in the beginning of our relationship. As time went on i trusted her more and more. Where to right now I have alot of trust in her. I think she took her trust away for me because i took it away from her. Which i can somewhat understand. But the fact is is that I DID tell her the moment i got home that i got two dances. Hell i actually told her before i left that i was GOING to get them. when i got home i left out the part of touching the girls boob for like two seconds(probably because the girl put my hand there but i dont remember) without really thinking about it. Fact is im sure shes left out a few minor details of her fuckups. i really dont care at this point about them. April means a million times more to me than a strip club..but she cant tell me not to go there because she doesnt trust me there. that isnt right. if her reason is because she thinks its completely immoral and wrong then thats another story. but when she fucked up i did not tell her you cant hang out with these people anymore...or you cannot go to these places anymore. :sigh: thats all i have for now...comments?
     
  21. AmosBanks

    AmosBanks New Member

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    Women who are secure in themselves and who know they have it going on more than a stripper don't worry about strippers. Does a Ferrari really care about a Mustang?
     
  22. itsme

    itsme New Member

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    same goes for men, if hes secure with himself then he probably shouldnt mind if his girlfriend hangs out at strip clubs letting guys rub there dicks all over her lap. right ?:wiggle:
     
  23. IslanderOffRoad

    IslanderOffRoad Do you even lift kit? OT Supporter

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    That depends on the Mustang ;) But we'll save that for the Driven forum.
     
  24. bobbarker70

    bobbarker70 New Member

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    im a guy, and in college, and stripclubs have always made me feel weird, so idk. i kinda get why your gf woudlnt want you to go. your staring at other naked women. and not just pictures online, at real women who are dancing for you.
     
  25. Tornado6

    Tornado6 When the wind set down in funnel form and pulled y

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    Not all clubs are like that. If they were, a lot more girlfriends would be down with it. The clubs around here are supposed to be some of the most "open" in the country, from what I gather. The clubs I went into in New Orleans were topless only. There are outright brothels in Nevada. It really depends on where you are and what the local laws allow.

    I don't care so much if my boyfriend looks at Mustangs. I just don't really like it when the Mustang is actively encouraging him to rub it's tits and ass, grinding it's naked pussy on his lap, etc. If I'm there to watch, it can be nice, but not knowing exactly what's going on is kinda difficult. Everyone knows you can't fully trust Mustangs :squint:

    Clubs that are all look, no touch are OK with me. Touching is OK if I am around to see what is going on. I am not really comfortable with my boyfriend feeling up other women when I'm not around under any circumstance. The fact that he paid good money for that feel doesn't really make me feel better about it :hs:
     

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