The passed three-four months have been extremely rough for me. I've had tough times but never like this. Within two months alone, I've lost three friends in car accidents. I honestly can't handle another funeral. I feel as I'm doing nothing with my life. I'm 19, I attend a community college which I don't have any motivation to go to anymore. I don't believe school is something for me. I don't have a job because I became ill from the stress and anxiety which basically forced me to quit work and now it's difficult to find another. I don't feel as I'm going anywhere in life (which I'm not). I hate living in my town, I'm judged by a lot of people for no reason or some people just don't like me because I'm friends with a certain person or because of a girl (immature baby stuff). I value my friendship with my close friends but their idea of fun is drinking constantly. I don't mind partying but I don't feel its necessary so often. My relationship with my parents is rocky, I get really moody from the stress and I tend to bring it out on them. I'm an only child and I've grown up alone for the most part so I feel that the only time I'm comfortable and happy is when I'm by myself, doing something alone. I don't know if this is healthy because it looks like I'm anti-social or something. When I went to school in Florida, I was there all alone, on my own without my parents and honestly I was very happy. I didn't know anyone, I did what I had to do, I had a lot of motivation to go to school. I had friends I kept in touch with at home and made a few friends at school, that was fine. I guess all I want to do is shut everyone out of my life and do what's for me and only me. I debated on just finding two crappy jobs and working all day through my summer. I have a friend that wants me to move with him to Phili but I don't think it would be a wise move for me. For some reason I seem happy when I find a girl I like. It motivates me but that always fails. Everything starts going good in life and it just fails over and over and over. Does anyone have any advice on this? Should I be worried about myself and seek help (I don't think it's that serious but)? I've really been struck with back luck for too long and I just want to give up on everything. I'm out of ideas on what to do.