Story time

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by JohnJohnJohnson, Jul 31, 2006.

  1. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    This is a story of me shamelessly pressing my gf for what she actually was thinking.

    I just spent a nice weekend in my mom's country house w her. We were driving back and she asked me where she'd be sleeping that night: at my house with me, or at her house alone. "I guess we'll see how we feel," she said.

    She's always welcome - wanted - at my place, so when she said "I guess we'll see how we feel," it rlly was, "I guess we'll see how I feel." Towards the end of the drive, my mom asked me where she'd be dropping her off. I asked my gf, and she said she wanted to go to her own house that night. "I'm not sick of you though," she clarified.

    Ever the curious one, I said, "Ok. So would it be alright if I came to your place?" She responded that I could come over, so long as I didn't stay the night. Since coming over and leaving at night is massively inconvenient for me, we both knew that wouldn't happen.

    "Why couldn't I stay over?" I asked, still the curious fellow that I was. She responded that that was because it was a weeknight. I pointed out, doggedly, that I had actually stayed over on weeknights before. Moreover, I added that there had been times when it turned out the "weeknight" explanation was a cover-up for "I need some alone time" - which, I added, is perfectly valid, and which I won't take offense by.

    "Well," she continued, "I wouldn't be paying much attention to you." I said that I didn't particularly mind if she paid little attention to me. "It's just that I haven't seen my sisters in a while," she said finally. "I will want to catch up with them."

    This is true. She has five sisters and she hadn't been home in a week. She wanted some family time, and they probably wanted some alone time with her, without the boyfriend around. "Why didn't you say so?" I asked.

    "I was being nice," she told me.

    :run:

    Women of OT, please. Never, ever be nice. Ever. Thx. :x:
     
  2. MP525i

    MP525i New Member

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    women are confusing as hell and i was reminded of that this past weekend. i don't know what it is that makes me think that they change over time.
     
  3. dk01

    dk01 Awwwwww..... OT Supporter

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    Women drive me nuts. I wish they wouldn't avoid conflict so much. It just makes small things that aren't even big deals bug me more. The only advice I have is to stick it out and recognize that her family is very important. Next time you'll know. :dunno:
     
  4. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    See... I wouldn't be putting up with that shit. There's no need, and really no excuse for her "masking" like that. Even if I was going to get mad about it, I'd be far less mad if she gave me the straight-up truth than if she tried to "soften it" (in her mind) to "be nice." And really there's no need to soften something like "I need family time, just me and my sisters" -- that's more than understandable if she's honest about it.
     
  5. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    I don't get it either:dunno: . I just tell my hubby that I'm going to my sib's for the weekend and he's cool with it.:) It's no wonder I don't like other chicks:mamoru:
     
  6. RoninJinn

    RoninJinn Oh it's just *****girl...

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    My g/f does funny stuff like that. It's so easy to say "I wanna hang out with family." Hell, I'll even except "I need some alone time with.. well.. myself."

    JUST SAY IT, don't beat around the bush, it isn't going to offend or hurt my feelings. Duh!

    (P.S. I live w/ my g/f now, so no funky excuses now, we're past that phase, but I feel your pain)
     
  7. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    Stop being so clingy. Do you like when people prod you like that? You're lucky your GF didn't snap at you.
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2006
  8. Marc™

    Marc™ New Member

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    Women are the one of the things worth understanding in the world... ... its just so darn hard. O_O
     
  9. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    People don't have to prod me to figure out what I actually mean when I talk because I say exactly what I'm thinking to them. If wanting to know whether the person I am in love with is sick of me, just wants some alone time, or simply needs to interact with her sisters one-on-one makes me clingy, then

    I. Am. Clingy. And by that definition, "clingy" is good.

    Maybe when you are in a relationship, you like to have half-spoken, vague miscommunications. Sure, you won't really be comfortable enough with each other to talk about stuff openly and directly, but "people need space bro!" Which is macho rhetoric for what anyone with two eyes would call "putting up boundaries."

    You should never be ashamed to ask your partner what she's thinking. After all, if she doesn't want to tell you, presumably she will say so... right? ;)
     
  10. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    It isn't a gender thing
     
  11. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    Needs to be more chicks with your straight forwardness. I hate having to ask twenty questions to finally get the truth out of someone. Bloody hell, just tell the truth, we aren't 2 and aren't going to burst out crying if you just lay out the facts.
     
  12. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Yeah, but I also know plenty of guys with this thing.

    The way it works best when it works is that the person speaking instinctively prods themselves for what they actually mean and what they actually think, while they speak. Lots of women and men, instead, just try to say the closest approximation that requires the least energy, thereby avoiding having really said anything at all.

    Normally my gf is quite straightforward, btw.
     
  13. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    The flip side is that you need to learn to interpret those vague little things that a girl says, so that you don't need to re-ask her every question 5 times. when she says she doesn't want to spend the night with you at your place, you need to take the hint that she means she wants to be alone that night. no one likes to be pushed in a corner, and if she isn't comfortable telling you to your face that she doesn't want to be with you for one night, it's not a good idea to force her to say it.
     
  14. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    i disagree. it's not a good idea that she isn't comfortable telling me to my face.

    if i am 100% certain as to what she really means when she says one thing, but means another, then i will say, "you mean, {translation}" and leave it at that.
     

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