Starting up a conversation...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Martin Atchet, Feb 9, 2009.

  1. Alright I never thought I would ask for advice on a message board but here goes.

    I see cute girls at my college dining hall all the time, and some of them eyeball me and smile and such. One time I even walked to the same counter as this girl and it was almost like she was waiting for me to start a conversation with her but I just walked away (haha :sadwavey:).

    Anyways my question is how do you start up a conversation with a girl in a non-creepy way in a dining hall. It's the atmosphere that's getting me.

    Thanks and sorry if this is a repost.
     
  2. b1u3b3rr135

    b1u3b3rr135 OMG WTF IS THAT?!?

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    sucks being shy doesnt it :hs:
     
  3. chizzle

    chizzle New Member

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    "Hey, how you doing? I'm *name*" Hopefully she'll respond with her name and then you go "Nice to meet you" and then segue into something.

    Or, if you want to throw context into it, like a cafeteria setting...

    "I wonder if the chicken is any good, have you had it before? I'm starving, but not sure if I'm that desperate." And hopefully that'll get a convo going.

    The conversation shouldn't be hard, it's getting past the shyness.
     
  4. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    fuck if i know, and i have to do it 50x every day. :sad2:
     
  5. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    you work a phone station? or food place?
     
  6. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    bartend
     
  7. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    ah. yea. but at least most of the time it's just random (drunken) conversation hahaha
     
  8. D7

    D7 OT Supporter

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    I always start off with "are you single?" and get a huge grin from him. I'm a pretty straight forward gal though :wiggle:
     
  9. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    i made this exact thread a year ago, and really didnt get anywhere...other than "it's easy" or the "you're a girl, any guy would be happy to chat you up"



    one thing i learned is my conversational skills are the same, independent of others. if something goes well, run with it, and appreciate it. if it goes poorly, don't read too much into it. i'm the constant, others are the variable, and most of the variation from conversation to conversation shouldn't reflect on me.
     
  10. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    yea but its always "seeminly" harder for guys.

    I agree with you in that you shouldn't vary your conversation just because of a person or a guy/girl. Only exception to me is in the business formal world vs. casual world.

    I approach most people the same way, which sometimes sucks because it takes a while for me to really gel with people after feeling them out. But oh well, the ones that stick are always good friends/relationships in the end.
     
  11. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    odd you say that. i have a couple different modes of operation....one is interview/bidness mode, the other two are me just normal, and doc/shrink mode.


    each one has their own distinct personality and way of conducting business. odd.
     
  12. D7

    D7 OT Supporter

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    whatcha mean?
     
  13. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    I've never had doc/shrink mode, then again ive never been to a shrink so I can't say anything about wheter I have one or not.

    but why do you consider it 'odd'?

    oh I just tend to notice that guys have a harder time approaching women vs women approaching guys.
     
  14. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    If they are in my class, and they look approachable... I start off with a question like "Hey aren't you in xxx class?", then talk about the class and hopefully it goes somewhere.

    I also had a girl approach me with the line "Hey didn't we debate against each other in class?".
     
  15. D7

    D7 OT Supporter

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    hehe I'm always nervous before I approach a guy :)

    That makes me think of this though : I almost always get a smile from them whereas women can be very rude to guys hitting on them. Now that would be hard.
     
  16. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    yup. for some reason society believes that when a girl starts a conversation, then it is cute/funny/cool vs. a guy who can be seen as bothersome/creepy/wtf

    sigh.
     
  17. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    In that scenario it would be best to make a comment or ask a question about something there, such as the food. If you exchange names and say "nice to meet you" then that could easily be the end of the convo if neither of you knows what to say next or if she's not interested in talking.
     
  18. mistergixter

    mistergixter New Member

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    +1 on that.

    I am in the same boat that you are. I am just shy when it comes to approach. Once I get over the initial approach, then I can manage to maintain a conversation.

    I am not one to give advice, since I cannot even take my own advice, but sometimes just man up and say hi. What is the worst thing that happens, they say hi back and then go on there merry way? Once you get comfortable doing that, introducing yourself to others, then it should be no problem.

    That is my goal for the week, introduce myself to 3 new people this week.

    We all have to start somewhere and women are not as scary as we make them out to be, they are approachable, even the hot ones.
     
  19. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    Also kind of weird but I've had work.. just say something out loud not directed towards anyone and see if she looks towards you. If she does, that's a cue to start a conversation.

    As you grab a sandwich off the shelf "Oh sweet they actually have ham today"


    Lets say you see a girl eyeballing something in the cafeteria.. You can tell she's not sure if she wants to get it or not. Speak up. "Can't decide between the (xxx) and the (xxx) huh?"
     
  20. snoodles

    snoodles New Member

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    don't you hate when a girl eyeballs you, smiles, gives you all the signs, and then when you walk up to start talking to her, she's just as shy as you and doesn't really say anything back?

    lol life's unfair :(
     
  21. Mission: Success

    Went up to her today with my friend, (she was with her friend), said "Hey, what's your name? I see you at breakfast a lot." She smiles and tells me her name. Before we walked up to them my friend saw they were on track and said "I bet one is a distance sprinter and one is a pole vaulter" and sure enough her friend was a distance sprinter and the girl I've been checking out was a pole vaulter (insert vault on my pole joke here).

    Now all I gotta do is eat with her some time and ask for her number! Wish me luck.
     
  22. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    well, it does seem to be easier to approach with some sort of peer support..

    so a good wingman is key
     
  23. D7

    D7 OT Supporter

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    :h5: good luck!

    find out what her best subject is next and tell her you need help ;)
     
  24. Yeah I never thought about it until I was right about to go talk to her. "hey man go get coffee with me real quick" haha.


    hopefully its anatomy (zing)
     
  25. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Haha, someones moving up the confidence chain already :rofl::bowdown:

    Do work man. You're in college, that in itself is a learning experience. Every person you see, every class you have, every student in there with you, they are all there to meet new people and focus on future endeavors.

    Just smile, nod, and speak!

    I dont know if its the line of work i've ALWAYS been in, but talking to people, guys or girls have never been an issue to me... But to think of it, I think its more-so combined with where I'm from as well. The 'Ghetto', or the lower middle classed area tends to make you a bit more outspoken.

    I've ALWAYS been in Sales, talking to random people is the priority. Circuit city had a rule when I worked there (3+ years), 10 feet, 30 seconds. 10 feet into your department, maximum of 30 seconds time span to walk over, introduce, and start convo/sale. Then I worked fron desk in a 4/5 star hotel, once again, confidence is a must in this situation. Dealing with suit/tie, ceo's, presidents, etc tends to make you stiffen your shoulders and clear your throat.

    What I found easy to get over that initial lump in your throat? Remember, its there first time meeting/speaking to you as well. How often when someone introduces themselves to you do you act rude/unwanting? Almost never. First impressions are what they are for a reason, they make or break you.

    Yeah, maybe you introduce yourself, fumble a few words, and make a terrible joke, but at least you said hello and introduced yourself and that person will remember you, hopefully, lol.

    Now think about that other guy who was to scared to make that initiative, he just lost out on what could be everything.
     

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