SRS Started the 12 steps yesterday...not sure how i feel.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Pumpkin Escobar, Jan 5, 2007.

  1. Pumpkin Escobar

    Pumpkin Escobar New Member

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    heres my story that most of you have probably read already

    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=2892861

    well anyway, a couple weeks ago i finally got up the courage to find a meeting...theres a nice place close to my work here that has em everyday all day pretty much...i picked thursdays at 7pm. (it said Beginers, etc..)...so last thursday i went and they were just finishing up the 12 steps...basicly they start the 12 steps on the first thursday of every month...1, 2, 3,...then next thursday, 4. 5. 6, and so on...so i kept my promise to go yesterday since they were starting all over.

    well step 1 was easy...realizing that i am powerless over alcohol and my life in unmanageable (well i manage my life ok it seems, but i have a dependency to alcohol).

    now step 2 and 3 are where im kinda stumpped...im not too religious or spiritual so i dont really know where to go with this...a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity...ok...now what do i do?...i used to go to church when i was younger but cause my mom made me...i never really cared for it...i do pray here and there and i consider myself a christian, but for the most part im not really spiritual......when we stood up and repeated step 2 and 3 and were supposed to say "yes" if we wanted to proceed, i did...but im not really sure what to do now....and now that i look over the rest of the steps im a little nervous...at first, last thursday when i walked in the meeting, i thought it was just an open discussion and all that...i didnt think i was gonna start the steps...they immeadeatly handed me this pamplet for the 12 steps and talked about it...i was kinda just like..."...ok..."

    anyway in the back of my mind, im excited about all this but also a little scared...last thursday after the meeting, my gf was so happy and proud of me, she said "lets go to the movies and ill pay!"...by this time it was almost 9pm and i hadnt had a drink...to tell you the truth i didnt feel bad or shakey or anything...we went to the movies, i ate nachos and popcorn, came home and went to bed...after i left that meeting i didnt really crave alcohol....and the same thing happend yesterday, after i left i wasnt hurting for a beer, and that made me excited...we went to olive garden and had a nice dinner...went home and went to sleep....any other night id be drinking beer up untill i went to bed.

    well i guess thats all for now...the main dude at that meeting, Don, suggested i go to other regular meetings during the week to listen to some hardcore drunk stories...im scared im gonna go and listen to them guys and be like "im no where near that bad, why am i even here?...i drink light beer after work and go to bed".....:sad2: oh well i guess this is gonna be good for me.
     
  2. Colonel Panic

    Colonel Panic New Member

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    You haven't got step one yet.
     
  3. Pumpkin Escobar

    Pumpkin Escobar New Member

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    youre right...my life is unmanageable it seems :sad2:

    if thats what you were refering to
     
  4. FlyBoy07

    FlyBoy07 New Member

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    The trick isn't listening to the stories that you don't relate to. The trick is listening to the stories that you do relate to. For the first couple months that I was in AA I was worried that they would discover that I wasn't a real alcoholic and throw me out. Never Happened!!!!! Then one day a guy raised his hand and told my story. It wasn't the way he drank that got to me, it was why he drank. he drank for the same reasons I did, reasons that I had never been able to tell to anybody.

    You should go to some regular meetings and listen to people talk about their drinking.
     
  5. AKA

    AKA New Member

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    Workin steps in a step meeting is ok to get a better understanding of the steps. Get a sponser that works the steps out of the book then way the yare outlined in the book. That is when you will understand what the steps are about and really work the steps. When I tried to do it in a step meeting I found myself just saying shit I thought sounded good or only allowing certian things to be known about me. Why? Because I didnt truse some of them. When its one on one with your sponser its alot easier to get TOTALLY gut level honest.
     
  6. wraithlead

    wraithlead Representing the No Av crew

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    i'm hardly a seasoned vet. i've only been to a few meetings. but finally being around people like me helps more that you think it would. like they said, the time someone else says something like exactly what you were thinking, then you'll get it. and even the people that are way worse than you, they know that. but there's this thing about 'yet' that they keep saying and it's right. anyway. but anyway, they know they have bad stories, and they share them openly because they want to help keep you from getting that far. in the few meetings i've been to, i've found that there's something really powerful about, especially the leaders, but people in general being there because they want to be. when i walked into my first meeting, i figured people would be happy i was there, but when i walked into my second and people were still happy i showed up, i felt great for the first time in a while.
     
  7. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

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    get a sponsor, dont even try to do it without one, its a waste of time. Slow down!
     
  8. curt698

    curt698 New Member

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    As others have said sponsorship is key. Rome wasn't built in a day. It's hard not to want to try and understand all the steps right away but it did work that way for me.

    The other key thing you mentioned is your lack of thrist after meetings, that is very important. The more meetings you go to especially early on the more you will find that relief.

    It is great that your girl is suppoeting you but remember this is about you and to suceed in the program you have to want it for you. Strangly often as people get farther along in the program the bf/gf that pushed them to get sober resents the program. As we get sober we change and meetings take time from other parts of our lives and for loved ones that can create issues. It is important that you being healthy is first and if she loves you she'll grow with you.
     
  9. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

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    keep it simple, make the program for you. Get up, make your decision, if you cannot do it, or have difficulty, call your sponsor or go to a meeting, or both. Read the literature, so on.

    Dont try to get it all at once-i've been clean over seven years, and am working on the third step again-it's a way of life-not a race.
     
  10. anomaly

    anomaly If you weren't around for the original HA.net spli

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    Get a sponsor with several years sober, you are missing many key themes to step one.
     
  11. Lmbaj

    Lmbaj New Member

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    I agree with the others............Step one for me = surrender. I remember working it with my sponser for the first time and he told me to go back into the book (NA) and look for spiritual principles. When I went back the 2 nd time and it stuck out like a sore thumb and I quote "Surrender means not haveing to fight anymore". That there was enough for me, at that point on it just got easier to accept what my life was at that time and move on. Get a sponser, your going to need one to guide you along the way.
     
  12. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

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