Standard girlfriend problem thread - What do I do OT?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by kawasakiguy37, Aug 10, 2008.

  1. kawasakiguy37

    kawasakiguy37 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2004
    Messages:
    335
    Likes Received:
    0
    So I see these come up all the time here, so Ill try to keep it simple.

    Im in college, been dating this girl for about 4 months now. I like everything about her (relaxed, caring personality for the most part, non judgemental, very attractive, etc) except for that the fact that she sometimes tells me some random shit I really do not want to know. First of all, she somehow always accidently will mention some previous fling shes had (and there seems to be a lot) which bothered me a bit at first, but I got over it. Yesterday, however, she finally comes out and tells me that shes been frustrated lately that we havent been mixing the sex up enough and that her exboyfriend (not one of the flings, real boyfriend) was better than me. (Apparently Im second best to him :ugh2:). Personally I think its a bit selfish of her to even mention any of this, as now Im just gonna end up thinking about this shit all the time (not that I wouldeve minded if she had JUST told me she wanted to mix up the sex, I was fine with that!). What do you all think?


    edit: Forgot to mention that the other guy is the first guy she ever slept with, if that makes any difference.
     
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2008
  2. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Messages:
    4,994
    Likes Received:
    0
    Totally unacceptable behavior. Get out.
     
  3. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2005
    Messages:
    15,951
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Charlotte, NC
    Complete lack of tact/maturity. Unfortunately, I'm not sure there is anything you can do to fix. But have you brought up the issue? Tell her you don't want to hear about that shit, ever. EVER. I know I wouldn't.
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    Blah. Bringing up exes/previous flings all the time is a huge turn off and sign of disrespect. You don't need to take that shit, dump her.

    Satisfied partners don't think about their exes a lot, and thus, don't bring them up.

    If she thinks her exes are so much better, she should go after them, not belittle you.
     
  5. kawasakiguy37

    kawasakiguy37 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2004
    Messages:
    335
    Likes Received:
    0
    Well it was only the one guy whom she dated for a long time, (and apparently she likes me better in every other way more than him :ugh:) she said everyone else shes slept with pretty much sucked. I know she really likes me, I really think it is a lack of maturity issue.


    edit: Forgot to mention that the other guy is the first guy she ever slept with, if that makes any difference.
     
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2008
  6. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Messages:
    4,994
    Likes Received:
    0
    Doesn't matter. You shouldn't know how her previous partners were, theres not reason she should have ever told you, compared you (favorably or not) its immature, disrespectful and disgusting. She's showing off.
     
  7. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2005
    Messages:
    15,951
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Charlotte, NC
    I like to give the benefit of the doubt sometimes. So, she might just be a little dumb.

    Give notice. If it continues, then dump. (Or live with it. I know I wouldn't.)
     
  8. fray

    fray New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2006
    Messages:
    5,282
    Likes Received:
    0
    Completely disrespectful. It's completely possible to mention things you would like to do differently in the current relationship without actually bringing up or comparing with past relationships. If you cannot get this through to her by actually talking to her about it, then you need to decide if you can put with it for the rest of your relationship/life. If you keep dating and she doesn't stop with the comparisons, you can bet it won't only be with her past relationships. It'll be Ted at work says this about me or Dottie's husband bought her X, why don't you ever do that, etc.

    So, the question is how much can you deal with? Can you get her to knock that shit off because it really isn't acceptable?
     
  9. kawasakiguy37

    kawasakiguy37 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2004
    Messages:
    335
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ive casually mentioned it to her, but Ill have a serious (and not so happy) talk with her today.
     
  10. puzzled_mike

    puzzled_mike New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2008
    Messages:
    149
    Likes Received:
    0
    Sounds like she doesn't want to take you for who you are. Talk to her about it and let her know it really bothers you. If it continues for much longer, you should drop her and move on to someone who really appreciates you.
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    Fuck that.

    I'm being serious. Any girl (who after 4 months) tells you to your face that her ex boyfriend was better" than you can go fuck him or herself. She's rude immature and insensitive.

    A normal adult would have said "I'd really like to try some new things in the bedroom." Her attacking your performance just shows she's insecure and wants to blame it on you instead of work through something like a grown up.

    If it were me I'd move on then again I have respect for myself....She's obviously not really in this relationship and not even that satisfied. Hell, after 2 years I haven't had to tell my bf "let's switch things up" so what the fuck after 4 months does she expect?
     
  12. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2004
    Messages:
    11,333
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Awestralia
    Werd IWYWB

    If someone says "lets try xyz for something different" I'd be fine with it. If she said "Previous partner did xyz and it was so much better" I'd basically walk out there and then.

    The other option is to only date virgins so they have nothing to compare you against.
     
  13. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,467
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    the streets
    if a woman ever told me i was second-best to someone else, that would be the end of our time together

    have some respect for yourself
     
  14. coldstone

    coldstone New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2008
    Messages:
    12,298
    Likes Received:
    0
    Sounds hella immature.
     
  15. B-Lo

    B-Lo The new beast mode :x:

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2001
    Messages:
    24,355
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Buffalo/Detroit
    Dump her. I had a gf compare me to her exs. Drove me nuts. It wasnt even about sex either it was about things I would say. Unless she is saying you are a stallion compared to them fuck her.
     
  16. Timer

    Timer Guest

    Dump her.
     
  17. stonesthrow

    stonesthrow Grand puba and dattie, ridin shotty in the maserat OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2008
    Messages:
    31,279
    Likes Received:
    14
    sounds like shes trying to get you motivated

    start training chief
     

Share This Page