SRS Sponsorship

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by i killed tupac, Sep 30, 2007.

  1. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

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    Sponsorship plays an important role in recovery, i know my sponsor has helped save my life/sanity several times in the past few years.

    I just agreed to sponsor a man, he's got 4 years clean but is starting over on step 1 (i have 8 years, for reference). Its a bit of an odd situation because he is also gay, and schizophrenic. So it can get a little intense!

    I sponsored another man before...he called me 3 times and i never saw or heard from him again.

    Does anyone here sponsor other people in recovery? what is your experience?
     
  2. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Yep I've sponsored some guys in my time. Most times, you only hear from them once or twice, if that much, then you see them less and less at meetings then not at all.

    I worked with one guy for 2 years then he relapsed without even calling or indicating that he was thinking about it. He was out for a year then came back, stayed sober for another year and I worked with him again...then same thing. He just went out again without any word to me at all.

    I have another sponsoree that's become a very close friend. He calls me at least once a week and often more. If he doesn't, I call him to see how he's doing. It's seriously be awesome and I'm very thankful that he asked me to be his sponsor as we've developed quite a close friendship.

    The hard thing about mental illness is that it's really difficult to deal with because often they HAVE to take medicine to be normal. Stay close to your sponsor because I've found that sponsorees have a tendency to bring my character defects out of hiding.

    Often I really don't know what to say so I pray. I also ask myself what the big book says about this issue and try to reflect that back to the person. It can be scary, especially when a sponsoree relapse. Often we feel responsible for their sobriety but we aren't. Do the best you can and talk with your sponsor if you get stuck and don't worry, it can be really fun to have sponsorees.
     
  3. daneeyah

    daneeyah Guest

    Your just amazing coottie. :eek3:








    :bowdown:
     
  4. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Hey thanks! :hug:
     
  5. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

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    so far so good, i have a close, almost daily contact with my sponsor as well, we are also friends. in essence, i have a good model relationship for this
     
  6. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Man that's awesome. I find so many times that I draw on what I was taught.

    Just remember, you aren't responsible for getting or keeping anyone sober. It's their decision whether or not they'll work the program.
     
  7. anomaly

    anomaly If you weren't around for the original HA.net spli

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    My sponsor has been my sponsor for the 8 or so years I've been around. I relapsed in that time and he taught me about unconditional love. When I put my hand out for help, he was there, no matter what.

    I've been sponsoring a kid who goes to the rehab I went to for the last couple of weeks. It is definitely keeping me sober, has me going to more meetings, examining the first step in my life etc. Best thing for my sobriety in a couple years.

    Every other sponsee I've had has gone back out, smoked crack, then gone to prison :bigthumb:
     
  8. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

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    yeah that's what happens
     
  9. buninader

    buninader SMILE!!! I just got ******!!!

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    i've had three sponsors. first two moved away.

    ive sponsered 5 guys in my short time in aa. gets me out of my head in a way that i did not expect. i find myself thinking about their problems, which is nice, because im not thinking about my own.

    even though this guy may be gay and schizophrenic, you know that you have one thing in common. just relate your experience, and all will go well.
     
  10. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I tend to agree but schizophrenia is an unstable variable that needs to be watched. It can cause extreme paranoia and really random thoughts/actions. I'm not saying there's anything to fear but be aware that schizophrenics have particular issues.

    It's also important to note that some people in AA think that all mental medications are bad and all we need is AA. I've even heard of people advising sponsorees to get off anti-depressants. I've heard that some of these newcomers have then committed suicide because of these well meaning sponsors.

    The thing is, doctors are highly trained and we as AAs have no business meddling with such affairs because the consequences can be catastrophic. I'm sure that I KILLED TUPAC will do just fine with this sponsoree....I just thought I'd share some of my experience in regard to mental illnesses.

    When I'm dealing with these types of issues...and yes, I've had sponsoree's ask me if it's ok to stop taking their meds, I always defer to their doctors and encourage them to explain their wishes to their docs. Ask the doc if it's ok to stop the meds or is there anyway to decrease the meds....those sorts of things. I've found this to be a much more reasonable approach.

    The last thing I want is to give someone advice like it's ok to stop the meds then they freak out and either hurt themselves or someone else. That would be awful and irresponsible on my part.
     
  11. Brian

    Brian New Member

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    I am still fairly new, but all I know is that for myself I have to call my sponsor daily or I will feel "off". I run everything by my sponsor and other men in the program because I know my head is broken. My sponsor is taking me through the steps right now, just about done with 3. I need to get done with the 4 because I have done the 3 step dance like many of you have seen in meetings. My sponsor tells me what I need to hear not what I want to hear.
     
  12. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

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    sounds like a good relationship
     
  13. buninader

    buninader SMILE!!! I just got ******!!!

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    i definetly agree. i am a med taking, disorder diagnosed, member of aa. by no means would i recomend that anyone get off there meds. that would go against the traditions.

    the book has a section, i cant remember where right now, but it says something about how we cant give medical advice.
     
  14. Salad

    Salad New Member

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    This thread is very eye opening and inspiring all at the same time. People who take on sponsors and are able to deal with it, the way this gang has...you need to be commended!
     
  15. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I'm just passing along what was freely given to me. I'll be forever grateful to those that helped me when I so desperately needed it and the only way they want me to pay them back is by helping others.

    *hint* it's also part of the 12 steps....but you'll learn about those when you start going to meetings. :) :x: :hug:

    Oh and we AAs like to hug a lot.

    EDIT: Oh and just for clarification, no commendation is needed nor desired. Helping others helps me stay sober and I like being sober today.
     
  16. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

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    The commendation we getting is watching others stay clean :)

    It is a very rewarding experience to sit with someone who feels like there is no tomorrow, they cannot live another day, with or without drugs, and be able to help them make a decision. It really is amazing.
     
  17. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

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    I'm gonna kill him!!!! :rant:
     
  18. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    :confused:
     
  19. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    I'm guessing the guy he's helping just did something stupid.
     

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