SRS spilling my guts to OT

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by fallenauthority, Jun 6, 2006.

  1. fallenauthority

    fallenauthority OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2005
    Messages:
    201
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Waldorf, MD
    Alright, well this is going to be long, just warning you.
    Im a 17 year old male and im in a bit of a confusing situation right now. Background story:
    Ok so back in december i get in contact with this girl through myspace who i went to elementary school with and currently am going to the same high school, hadnt talked ot her since elementary so i decided to meet up with her and catch up on everything. So we make a day to meet and hang out, I pick her up, meet her mom(who actually remembers me) and dad. We head off to this park in the next town over, we walk around for a while catching up on old times, going over interests and such and end up sitting on a bench for like an hour or so talking more. From there she says she is a little hungry so we go to this place called Noodles and Co. in our town and we eat, i pay of course(after having to tell her repeatedly that she is not going to be paying, come to find out later that was the first time anyone has ever payed for her). We sit down and eat and talk more(you know typical "date" kind of thing). After that I ask her if she wants to go see a movie and she says yea but the local theater doesnt have anything good playing till really late, so she says we can go back to her house and watch a movie. We go back and talk to her parents for a little bit and go down into her basement and watch a movie(donnie darko if you were wondering). During the movie i sat with my arm around her and she was leaning on me. Movie ends and we go back upstairs, i say bye to her parents and tell her ill see her later, hug her and go to my car and go home.

    New years is a few days away so the next day i ask her what she is doing for new years and she said she might be going to a small party at a friends house and asks if i want to go, i say yea. I pick her up that night, go through the whole "drive safe, have fun" thing with her parents. We get there i meet her friends who most of them i didnt even know so i was all nervous around them for a while. Im sitting on the couch and she comes and plops down next to me and cuddles up with me while we watch the festivities on MTV and other channels. Night ends rather uneventfully. After this night i didnt really talk to her much because her friend said that she wasnt really interested in a relationship at the time but she thought i was REALLY nice, yea guys worst fear.

    Ok fast forward, 5 months later, few small convos since new years, nothing big. But then one day she says we really need to hang out soon, im like ok thats fine. Then she starts giving me notes and stuff at school. the other day i was walking down the hall with my friend sean and talking to him and cathering(the girl) comes running up and jumps on me and gives me a huge hug.....wtf....then yesterday im walking down the hall again and she gives me a note and says lets walk and links arms with me and we talk while i walk her to class.........

    WTF, ok i dont get this girl, does it sound like she wants a relationship now or what? im so confuuuuuused, sorry for the LOOOONG post but u had to have the full background.
     
  2. Arclight

    Arclight Hypercube

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2004
    Messages:
    19,688
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto
    Women don't know what they want.
     
  3. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    6 months of chit chat, two dates without you making a move, her friend saying that Catherine wasn't looking for a relationship (BS-she'd date that stud jock at school if he asked), now you are passing notes, going arm in arm, etc.

    None of this means she is interested. Did she grab your crotch? Have sex with you? Make out with you? Tell you she wants you? Those are things that mean she is interested. Passing notes and going arm in arm means nothing. Girls flirt and have fun like this with the safe guy friend all of the time. It means nothing.

    The problem here is that you never stepped up and took control. You wanted to date her yet you simply sat with her. Putting your arm around her wasn't enough. If you wanted to show her that you are really interested, you could have gone for a kiss, scheduled real dates-not hanging out with friends, etc.

    As far as now... to me it is showing strong signs of friendzoned. If you want to find out or if you want to avoid being "the friend" tell her right away that you are going to take her out on a real date. If she is interested in you she would accept and would actually follow through by going on the date, not by cancelling at the last minute.
     
  4. fallenauthority

    fallenauthority OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2005
    Messages:
    201
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Waldorf, MD
    i see exactly what your saying and its nothing new lol, ive been a pussy with shit like this my whole life. Bout time to step it up i guess eh? I mean hell, its just a girl, theres more where that one came from.
     
  5. johan

    johan Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2003
    Messages:
    5,123
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sahasrara; magnetic violet infinite
    Well the fact that you're 17 might be an excuse, but honestly, if she's into you, there should be some physical contact by the end of the first meeting. Arm around, hug, kiss etc.

    I'm not saying be a man-whore, or that you should date slutty girls...

    I'm saying most girls who are 1) into you, and 2) don't have any weird hangups and aren't excessively introverted or shy will let their intentions be relatively clear by the second date/meeting.

    Girls who want you, do not 'suddenly cancel out' at the last minute.
    If anything, you'll be having sex by the 2nd to 6th date, depending on how fast the both of you like to move.
     
  6. Devilish

    Devilish Remind me AGAIN

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2005
    Messages:
    1,300
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    "The Shed"
    Not all.... most start realising what they want at about 27. For some of them, it's too late by then
     
  7. fallenauthority

    fallenauthority OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2005
    Messages:
    201
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Waldorf, MD
    This went over surprisingly better than i thought it would on OT, thanks guys. Im usually the kind of person to just listen to what their friend says and just be like ok w/e other fish in the sea no biggy, since then ive had 3 gfs and they have all been pyscho overcontrolling bitches. I think im going to try for a round two on this one and see where it takes me.
     
  8. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2005
    Messages:
    19,712
    Likes Received:
    0
    The stuff that happened recently sounds like she's giving you an opening. Girls (especially younger ones) don't take what they want, they make guys want to give it to them. Giving you a hug is a friendly thing to do, but I've not personally seen a girl who'd walk with her arm around a guy's arm if she weren't attracted to him -- that sort of continuous contact isn't something anybody really does unless it gives them a little zing in their stomach.

    So I'd start "being a man", so to speak, and stop waiting for her to jump on you. Normal girls only do that when they get old enough and confident enough -- and most importantly, sick enough of waiting. The worst thing that happens is you lose your fantasy; the best thing that happens is you get a real girlfriend.
     
  9. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2002
    Messages:
    19,344
    Likes Received:
    12
    Immediately you step into what I (no offence) call animalistic thinking. A wolf in the wild thinks there is always another wolf to fuck. We are intellectual beings, always be one step ahead of what we evolved from friend.

    Now, as for those girls... they are very adapted by society, and at that age they are trying to rebel but in the end the rebellion ends up being the same thing, (catcher in the rye)...

    This may seem off point but it is intergrating into my next statement.

    Going on the little information I have about this young girl I will just go back into my mind and remember my highschool days. Girls are not serious at that age. Get into a relationship and it will not last until marriage in my experiance. In most cases but not all.

    You do not know this girl. Do not think you do; to think you are already adept does not allow you to learn. She obviously has changed a lot since tot college, so realise this truth. Next, you will have to adapt to the new her. You will get no where with this girl in your imagination, rather you will have to start initiation you real intention. You know what you want damnit, you have spilt your guts and they are empty.

    Do you want her as a girlfriend... if so then you persue her as that.

    Or as a friend... then keep on IMing her like you would a friend.

    Or as a stranger... sporadic IMs and empty hugs that will end in a fruitless flirt.

    Actions speak louder then words, but your intent is very important, be concious and aware of what you are doing and saying as it has a very important impact in the next step of things, ya know.

    Hopefully this is of some use to you, and not finger exersize... they are getting pretty coordnated though :hs:
     
  10. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2005
    Messages:
    19,712
    Likes Received:
    0
    You give some interesting advice, Spiritus. I'm not sure what to make of you yet. That's not good or bad, just a fact.
     
  11. Pimp D

    Pimp D New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2006
    Messages:
    185
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    ohio
    Adding onto this.....Magnum is right about the never listen to her friend. First off,her friend may have not known anything and was just saying what she knew. Plus, this girl you like probably didn't tell her friend this. If she really felt this way, she would have told you this herself, not let her friend come in and tell you stuff. You should've just talked to her about it and it would've probably just been a misunderstanding or not understood at all.

    If you still want to go after her I would say talk to her and see what happens. Just don't get yourself caught in something you don't want to be in.
     
  12. fallenauthority

    fallenauthority OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2005
    Messages:
    201
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Waldorf, MD
    Well ive thought about the situation and ive concluded i do want her as a girlfriend so i shall pursue as such. Summer break starts tuesday.....let the summer begin, this will be a make or break summer. Lets hope I make :) Thanks again guys, im sure i will be turning to OT for further help in the future.
     
  13. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2002
    Messages:
    59,945
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    Go Dodger Blue!
    It sounds like the "break" you two had made he realize that she might actually have feelings for you. Make a date with her again but this time you can't be a pussy or else you'll go back into the friend zone, you know? She's not going to make the first move. You're going to have to do it and do it soon because the longer you stay as "just friends" with the the more awkward it'll be when you finally do make a move a year or two later, you know?
     
  14. kackel champion

    kackel champion faces always are changing lies and disguise for th

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2006
    Messages:
    79,467
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    home of the goon swagger
    summer romances are the shit

    run around with that for the summer...go away to school

    ah to be 17 again
     

Share This Page