SRS soooo do i talk to her?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by interpol, Feb 7, 2005.

  1. interpol

    interpol you can't spell basement without semen

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    hoy-hoy.

    alright here goes.. gahhhh this is so :highschool:

    I was in a pseudo relationship that sort of stretched over 4 months. She was a friends ex girlfriend, which is what caused some complications at first and caused it to fall apart for a couple months. We got along really well, and she's probably the closest i've ever been to someone. She came back after those few months of just talking as friends and said she wanted the full deal/relationship again.. and once again it broke because she was 'scared' or something stupid. Either way, she initiated it each time.. and freaked out each time.

    Now the dilemma, we'd speak quite a lot each day, and i'm really missing that. I was told after a month or two passed, i'd be over it but this is ridiculous.

    Will starting to talk to her again fix this or am I going to freak out that it can only be friends? (I'm not used to being just friends with girls)
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Always go for the kill, because if you never shoot you will always miss. It's a win win situation, if she says no you can go on with your life if she says yes, you are with her. Just go for it.
     
  3. johan

    johan Active Member

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    ^^^ Good advice. Practice makes perfect. Practice improves technique. Not fake technique, like stupid come-on's, but genuinely being interesting and a good listener.

    Practice enough and soon you will find that even when you get a "no", you're able to handle it really well, and you realize that hey, the world didn't come to an end after all.

    Remember: NO GUY IN THE WORLD BATS 1000, SO GETTING TURNED DOWN IS NO SHAME.
     
  4. RyeBread

    RyeBread If you tell the truth you don't have to remember a

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    IMHO I'd move along. She can't even find the courage to admit what she wants from you. She's using you to satisfy her needs, and not recognizing or caring enough that you want more, or nothing.

    in my experience, women are classical at this. They find guys that they "just adore" - yet use them as emotional crutches, and/or to vent to, yap at etc.

    If you are comfortable in that role, and getting essentially not much else out of it, then so be it. IF however, and it sounds like it, that you are developing deeper feelings, this will turn into a train wreck for you.

    And it's not really "highschool". IT happens at any age. (I'm 35 :sadwavey: )
     
  5. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    If she's confused about you now, she'll probably be confused again somewhere down the road. Just something to think about
     
  6. interpol

    interpol you can't spell basement without semen

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    Yeah, basically it has been more.. she wanted to be official and then backed out twice which was one massive headfuck the second time because I had just started to get over her. Second time I probably freaked her out 'cause I didn't want to lose her again and wanted to have some security pretty quickly.

    Either way, i'm not really asking if I should try get back with her, rather just keep talking and whatever.. Ultimately that's what I miss but it's a bit of a catch 22 because i'll probably end up wanting more again. I wouldn't mind if it was the usual girl, but the friendship here was pretty strong/deep and unique for me.
     
  7. RyeBread

    RyeBread If you tell the truth you don't have to remember a

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    it's natural to miss something that was good.

    It's very difficult to look at it as an opportunity to find that in someone else. We tend to look towards the dark side of our existance, and mourn what we don't have, instead of looking at the positives.

    :sadwavey: I in fact have a HUGE problem with that. Part of the problem, is that it takes a bit of time, and energy to build that type of friendship/relationship with someone, and when it goes sour, one feels like they were used, and/or that it was wasted effort/energy.

    In some cases it is - I've built that level of friendship with people, only to find out that they are quite literally pathological liars.

    In other cases people simply grow/move on. Yes the memories can be bittersweet, even painful. Don't ignore the pain, but try to look through it at the sunrise on the horizon. There are 234987398667 billion people on this planet, if you aren't able to connect with one or more of them, then you need to work on yourself first anyway :) :p

    (just a light hearted jab - I'm working on myself in so many ways, from school, to work, to the gym, to spiritually)
     
  8. interpol

    interpol you can't spell basement without semen

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    Thanks RyeBread

    She was probably the closest friend i've had, which is what scares me because I know it doesn't come often. I am actually quite interested in another girl, which happens to be one of her friends. :hs: It's as if I choose these shitty situations, argh.
     

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