sooo...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by antihero, Feb 12, 2007.

  1. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    So is there any good way to communicate "im not looking for a girlfriend/serious relationship" before you have sex?

    im looking for a good way to frame it and a good way to deliver it. any suggestions? Any way i can clearly communicate that fact without having to say it?
     
  2. kdizzle59

    kdizzle59 New Member

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    haha just tell them you arent looking for a relationship. but you dont want her out of your life. tell her you want to get to know her. or just do what i did... and be like bitch i just want to fuck you
     
  3. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    I'd say this has more to do with your internal beliefs than anything else.

    It seems that you believe that if you have sex with her, you owe her something.

    In reality, sex is 50-50 and she wants it as much or more than you do. If she chooses to have sex without making it known first that she wants a relationship, that's her fault.

    Why should you feel bad in that case? Its her job to get what she wants, just like its your job to get what you want.
     
  4. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    I agree with you for the most part. But i still feel it would be the nice thing to do to try to manage expectations before the sex. If i cant find any good way to do it, i'm not going to sabotage my sexlife in the attempt to be extra nice. Though if someone had a good way to do it, I would give it a try.

    Its not that i feel like i owe someone something so much as id feel better if i knew i did my best to have everyone walk away happy.

    While you may be right when you say its her fault, i assure you that some girls see things a bit differently.

    No input from the women on this one? i thought they would have been all over this one
     
  5. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Then tell her straight-up that you aren't interested in a relationship. Additionally, if you lay back and let her be the sexual aggressor, she can't really blame you for the sex later. But you have to raise her interest very high for her to be making the moves on you. Generally she will wait for you.

    Does it even matter how she feels about it? Why shouldn't you expect her to behave like a mature adult? If she intentionally does something that could cause her to feel bad later, isn't that on her? Its not your responsibility to make her feel good about it.
     
  6. JustaMeThang

    JustaMeThang New Member

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    Say just that.
     
  7. fray

    fray New Member

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    .

    Besides, chances are about 25% of any of these: 1) she decides she doesn't want just sex and leaves, 2) she wants sex with no strings anyway, 3) she doesn't want just sex, but now sees you as a challenge she can change, 4) she is horny and won't say no now, until she wakes up the next morning and feels bad about it.

    Either way, you're getting laid 75% of the time....

    edit: that was a joke, albeit a possible actual reality. i agree with you just saying it if you want it known. I think it's kind of nice, because even though she shouldn't expect a relationship with you just because you're fucking, realistically (and depending on the surrounding circumstances) she may, and I think it's nice to give her a heads up. Picture the opposite.. would you want her to begin stalking you because she assumes that having sex = relationship. Probably not, so in that circumstance, you'd appreciate a heads up so you could decide if it's worth it to you.
     

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