Sometimes the Best Option is to Walk Away

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by YARGH!, Jul 24, 2007.

  1. YARGH!

    YARGH! New Member

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    So I met this awesome girl at work (first mistake, I know) 4 months back and we've dated ever since. Dating her has been real fun, and she has a majority of the characteristics I look for in a woman. She is independant, can have fun doing anything, has a life outside of a relationship, is very attractive, and the sex is good.

    Unfortunately, she ended a 4-year relationship about 6 months back and when we first started dating he contacted her to hang out and catch up, which she did and I was cool with. Apparently after seeing him a few more times since, she has determined that she still has feelings for him, and although she hasn't acted on them, she confessed the other night that she is so confused and loves hanging out with me but has thoughts about getting back with her ex.

    While I appreciate her honesty, I can't be the fall back option. Being as attractive as she is (she says no guy has ever left her), I'm sure she is used to having a guy she can count on while she goes after or looks for what she really wants so I'm not sure how she will handle it when I let her know that we shouldn't date anymore.

    The lesson here for guys in similar situations: I have learned from the past when I wasnt as secure with myself as I am now, I would actually stay with the girl. Its ok to realize when a situation puts you in a bad spot, you should walk away from it. Even if the girl is someone you really like, possibly even love....at the end of the day, you won't be truly happy if you don't respect yourself, and act on the ability to say no to situations that make you less than what you want to be. This even transcends women situations and can be applied to all areas of life.

    Cliffs: Girl is trying to make me a fall back option but like any self-respecting man I can't let it happen even though I care about her a lot. :hsd:
     
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2007
  2. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    If one of the regular PUA's here said that I'm sure you'd be all over it with ass kissing :p
     
  3. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    sounds good man. shes not leaving you any options. walk away and don't consider taking her back unless its on your terms.
     
  4. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    I think that in this case you just need to be understanding.

    After only 2 months she started dating you when she had just come out of a 4 year relationship. It usually takes more time to completely sort out your feelings. I think you just need to tell her that you understand that she still has feelings and it hasn't been very long since her breakup with him... and that you are going to step aside while she figures stuff out.
    Just walk away and let her know (if you want) that once she figures stuff out, that she should give you a call but the meantime you are going to move on.
     
  5. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    ^^ agreed. cut back, if she misses you enough to get over him and call you then she's worth your time.
     
  6. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    you did the right thing. No point in keeping yourself in a situation where you could get angry or resentful towards her. Let her figure out who she wants to be with.
     
  7. YARGH!

    YARGH! New Member

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    :rolleyes:
     
  8. urbanlegend

    urbanlegend One Love

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    I'm in a situation myself where I feel closer and closer to walking away. I have basically started to walk, and haven't really been met with her following me. I guess I will have to move on shortly.
     
  9. keleko

    keleko yes, he is

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    good post, i would have done this
     
  10. moses

    moses OMGWTFBBQ

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    I did this same exact thing today. Deleted her from myspace, IM, phone, etc..

    it hurts badly and i've tried to do it before.. but its not something i can do anymore.
     
  11. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    IBban
     
  12. Dethfat

    Dethfat New Member

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    u sound wise
     
  13. Balzak

    Balzak New Member

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    Ha, I'm going through the same thing, except her ex of 8 years has a silver tongue and can talk his way back to her. It's actually quite sad since he's cheated on her numerous times and mistresses have confessed and eye-witnesses have told her. Can't have your cake and eat it, too, eh? Strong women ftw.
     

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