SRS Sometimes I wish I had the balls to kill myself.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by GlassJoe, Nov 28, 2005.

  1. GlassJoe

    GlassJoe New Member

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    I hate every single aspect of my life. I'm stuck at a job that I suck at, I'm always broke, and every time I start to get ahead, something happens that puts me right back down.

    I hate myself. I'm short, I'm fat, and I'm unnattractive. All I want is to be loved, but girls are too worried about meeting some tall young punk with a nice car to worry about finding someone who won't treat them like shit.

    All I want is to be happy, but apparently God has decided that happiness is too much for me to ask.
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    I love you :love:

    Joe , life is what you make it. You have no idea what a beautifull person you are. Little Mickey was short too, but you know the game Knock out, it all matters on how much you fight to achieve victory, one cannot gain without sacrificing something. And you , you need to love yourself unconditionally, and punch thru all the negativity. Then hit king hippo by smashing him on the belly, until he goes knock out, and life represents your fight whilst every problem is like a boxer you have to knock out to the floor.

    Start saving 2/3 of your money and stop wasting it on stupid stuff. Try to build something up. Do small things , achieve them and build up your confidence.

    When it comes to your happyness, YOU HAVE TO EARN WHAT YOU RECEIVE, God gave you the tools and the means , now you have to make the most of it. Feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to get you anywhere. You are like A bear that is asleep in the winter , but when spring comes it comes out into a world full of life (bear included) and you have to be like that, and bring the springtime of youth out of your system into this world. By helping and loving other people you can forfill your heart with happyness. :hug:
     
  3. quamen

    quamen New Member

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    Joe,
    First off your the only one who can control your own destiny, no one else can. If you are unhappy about where you are headed, your the only one who can make a change. You are unhappy at your current job, so go find another one only you can do this. You say you are overweight, join a gym and start eating healthy. Just because your short doesnt mean you are unattrictive, that is just becasue you perceive yourself as this. I think thefore I am as Descartes said, this applies to your case. Also when you refer to some guys such as a tall young punk, how i would consider myself but not so much of a punk with a nice car, i created this situation on my own and trust me it isnt always cracked up to what it seems. Yeah you may get looks and girls who want to meet or hang out with you, but they dont care about you they are totally fake and like being seen with that person with the nice car, or in the spotlight. These girls typically like to go after your money and once you no longer provide,they run to the next best thing.

    Everyone has different shit going on in their lives that they are unhappy about, but they dont realize they can only make the change through sheer determination. I have done it, so i know you can to.
     
  4. GlassJoe

    GlassJoe New Member

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    I appreciate the support, but it doesn't matter how hard I fight or how much I try, I always get knocked back down. That's the way its been my entire life. I get $200 in the bank, and my truck breaks down and I get a $200 bill. I start a savings account and save up $1000, and I get testicular cancer and have to close the account to pay the medical bills.

    It doesn't matter what job I have or what I do. It always ends with me living paycheck-to-paycheck and barely surviving.
     
  5. bearsdidit

    bearsdidit OT Supporter

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    It will get better man, everything happens for a reason. After you beat the cancer your perspective on life will def change. Keep us updated man.
     
  6. GlassJoe

    GlassJoe New Member

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    The whole cancer situation was a couple of years ago. I was just using it as an example. After it was all over, I thought that hopefully my misfortune was behind me. I was wrong. I've been even more miserable since then.
     
  7. selvo

    selvo New Member

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    The girl might never come, maybe you could cut loose all the stuff you want.

    They say girls will start liking you when you ignore them, BS.

    When you start ignoring the girls,money, all the shit that you envy maybe you might find your self at least content.

    Which is a shit load better than depressed.
     
  8. scaryice

    scaryice New Member

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    For starters, spend less time posting on this site. 39,000 posts is a hell of a lot, just think of how you could've improved yourself using that time.
     
  9. If I were a girl I'd date you :hug:
     
  10. RyeBread

    RyeBread If you tell the truth you don't have to remember a

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    not to hijack your thread, or "poor me". But instead of looking at your dark sides, look perhaps at someone else's misfortunes.

    help in a soup kitchen. volunteer in a nursing home, or a burn unit at a hospital.

    This year, we lost my wife's grand father, the same day a neighbor lost their 2 1/2 year old son. a few weeks before that, my father was technically "dead" but revived, he'll likely never be able to go home again, as he's in an adult foster care home. couple of months later, my sister inlaw loses her 9 month old, first born son.

    devil's night, the neighbor across the street, their PC melts down, and burns their house (mostly smoke and water damage but their house is inhabitable for 6 months at a minimum)

    now, grandpa's step kids are fighting over the estate, even though the will is pretty clear cut.

    I too am in a job that I'm not really happy with, glass ceilinged, and even worse, pigeon holed - I can't make even within 80% of my current salary if I go elsewhere, and with our financial obligations can't take that sort of pay cut without sending the wife back to work (she's a stay at home mom)

    sure, I have down moments, but prefer instead to keep lifting myself up by the boot straps and getting back to "work" with life.

    it's all about will.

    sometimes, seeing others worse off than you are helps inspire that will or drive. sometimes not.

    oh, and one of my cars is an old Jeep... I know what it's like to be "surprised" by expensive car repairs :mamoru:

    as for cancer, been there, done that too - 21 year survivor here, altho after an amputation. I go back for a followup on a new boney growth on the opposite foot in Mid December to evaluate whether or not they just cut the mass off, or do other work (like last time)...
     
  11. V!

    V! New Member

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    Have you thought about getting in shape? The gym is a great place to get rid of that fat and it will help get your confidence up.....:bigthumb:
     
  12. GlassJoe

    GlassJoe New Member

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    Thanks for all of the support. I don't know why I broke down like this last night. I've just had some bad luck recently and I also spent Thanksgiving with my dad, who is the most depressing person to be around. Sometimes I think that I'm going to grow up to be bitter and jaded just like him.
     
  13. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    What would you do if you didn't have that money in the account though? ;)
    Paycheck to paycheck isn't terrible, when you're happy with other aspects of your life.
     
  14. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    This is life, 99% of us go through it. Plus, no one is owed happiness, happiness is something that we all strive for and some of us find. I'm happy right now with my life. I got a good job-even if it is boring-I have a great girl, I bought a house that is decent-although could use repairs-and I have my health. I am unhappy with my motivation to work out and I have gained some weight since my gf and I got together but I have been dieting for a month and have lost some weight.

    The thing is, only 3 years ago I had nothing. I had a job as a pizza delivery boy, I lived with my parents, I was single, and I quit college 6 months prior to getting my associates degree. I was down on myself. I even wrecked my car, then 2 weeks later wrecked the loaner car! This was only 3 weeks after I got dumped by a girl I was really into. It was a down part in my life. What if I would have given up and killed myself? It would be a tragedy.

    The first step to recovery for me was learning to love myself. The second part was actively forcing my hand at self improvement and the betterment of my life. None of the changes were easy and none of them were instantaneous. It's work. You have to be willing to work for it because what is the alternative? Giving up on yourself? You deserve better.
     
  15. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Exercise makes all things better. And you're not ugly. I'm definitely not embarassed to go out and drink with you.
     

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