SRS Something wrong with me? I avoid my girlfriend

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by BigBadJohn, Oct 14, 2008.

  1. BigBadJohn

    BigBadJohn Pay-back time OT Supporter

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    First real relationship Ive ever been in. Shes really nice and everything but a bit clingy. I dont know why but it seems like Im avoiding her or something. I see her once or twice a a week. She calls me once a day minimum every day. Sometimes as much as a half dozen times a day. I sometimes avoid her calls and play it off like I didnt have my phone with me or I end the call and blame it on bad reception.
    I try not to get too close to anyone that much. I think it might have something to do with my childhood but I dont know. My father didnt beat the shit out of me but I definitely wouldnt just call it spanking either. Plus he was really verbally and mentally abusive and always putting me down or scolding me for something. Could be anything. Could be almost nothing, and Id get yelled at for it.

    I just cant stand all the clinginess and the cute talk shit. Im generally not a caring loving person except those really close to me like my mom and my grandparents, a handful of friends and my dog. All others can fuck off and die
     
  2. Mulsanne

    Mulsanne The Man = Funk Fusion Chaos

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    these are things you definitely need to speak with her about. I definitely understand where you are coming from and for me, stuff like you are talking about has been a precursor to the end of a relationship. The point is: why be with someone you avoid even some of the time? how does that make any sense?

    Better to be alone than in something like that my friend. But that's just how I feel after some relationships like the one youre talking about :o


    But yeah, if you do want to make it work, definitely talk to her about it...though good luck :hsd:
     
  3. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    don't be afraid to end it just because she's a nice person :dunno: if it's not working, it's not working.
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :werd: Or don't be afraid to end it because she's your "first real relationship." You're not doing her a favor by staying with her even though she annoys you most of the time. That's not how relationships should work.
     
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2008
  5. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    sounds like you just aren't that into her....
     
  6. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Do you avoid other people too besides your girlfriend?

    Do you hate talking on the phone to anybody?

    Do you prefer to be alone most of the time?
     
  7. BigBadJohn

    BigBadJohn Pay-back time OT Supporter

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    When I was living at home I would always hang out in the basement or my room or the garage. Anywhere my family wasnt
    I like talking on the phone with my best friend but only because I do it once a week or so and see him maybe once a month
    I mainly use my phone for taking care of stuff like bills, calling businesses, and finding out info. I dont really talk to people every day and several times a day especially
    I have no problem right now being alone at my new house and doing little projects by myself and watching TV. I didnt have many friends when I was young and TV was a big part of my day and I got very used to being alone.
     
  8. WGD87

    WGD87 New Member

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    What happens when you start thinking about things like moving in together or getting married? I mean, I realize that may be far from your mind.. But do you see something changing in those situations?

    I guess I am the girlfriend who isn't okay with texting during the week and hanging out once or twice a week because I am used to more. My boyfriend doesn't agree. It makes me think he isn't on the same level as I am as far as interest. Maybe that's something to think about?

    He says he plans on moving in with me when I get my feet on the ground after college... That doesn't make any sense to me at all if he doesn't want to see me more during the week now...

    Its been really making me think if I am getting what I want out of the relationship. Which all of this is coming from "that girls" perspective. If a girl honestly can't get over not being around that much, clingy as she may be, she doesn't want to be unhappy either..

    I guess comments like what I've been hearing in the post make me wonder if some of you really want the relationship. I've had crazy clingy b/fs.... b/fs at my level of cling... and way not clingy.... and it just makes me feel like maybe the interest in the relationship, as opposed to the person, isn't there... But thats just my thought...
     
  9. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    I totally agree.

    If you only want to see someone you are dating 1-2 days a week then you probably just aren't that into the person. Seeing your SO should be something you want to do and look forward to. Going :ugh: when you see that she is calling is a good sign that you need to end things so she can find someone who is more into her. I don't even see the point in being in a relationship if I would only see the guy 1-2 days a week (barring any extreme circumstances). I want somebody who wants to see me about as much as I want to see them.
     
  10. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    So why are you even with her? Does she know that's how you feel? Sounds like you would be better off being single (or finding a girl that feels the same way) if you aren't really interested in investing the time it takes to make a relationship work.
     

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