Something that GF said has me a bit concerned

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by tubachris85x, Mar 16, 2008.

  1. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Well last night, I was sitting with my gf, and we were just talking. Everything is fine, but some questions she was asking me has me a little worried.

    She first asked "how long do you think we'll last," I said "As long as we can."
    She then said something, I cant remember exactly what, but something to the effect of why I would ever break up with her, I said that "if you ever cheated, you'll have to be ready to never hear from me again"

    This is where I get concerned, she started asking a specific question. She said "well what if I ever kissed another guy, and it 'just happened'?" I said "how so?" Her, "make out like we do." The whole time, she had this kind of worried look on her face, and it just made me suspicious of something. I asked her after that if there was anything she's not telling me. She quickly defended herself, saying how much she cares and loves me. (earlier that night, she was bawling on the phone when I had mentioned the possibility of doing the infantry in the army, just because shes worried about me-she was hystarical)

    Now, Im not upset/angry or anything. Im just a little concerned just because she got pretty specific about it. Am I more worried then I should be?
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    I think you're as concerned as anyone would normally be. The fact that she is so specific warrants further questioning.

    Sit down with her and flat out ask "Did you kiss another guy? You're line of questioning got me concerned".

    And the whole "it just happened" excuse is BS.
     
  3. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Yea, I just remember after she said "if it just happend," I clearly said " the 'it just happened' excuse is bullshit, you would still be cheating, and that would mean that you dont love the person as much and do not value your relationship"

    Im havent been able to talk to her again about it, but Im going to eventually.
     
  4. quamen

    quamen New Member

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    It is clear that she is hiding something and cant confess to it. you have all the right to be angry, cause she cheated on you for sure.
     
  5. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    sounds like shes cheating
     
  6. Ladybug

    Ladybug Guest

    She may also have that guilty look because she betray someone in the past, not necessarily cheating on you.

    She is probably feeling very insecure about your relationship and it appears to be taking a toll on it. Take her aside and tell her she has nothing to fear, if indeed she has been unfaithful it will come to light soon enough but if that isn't the case you don't want suspicion to start creating negativity between you.
     
  7. The Scientist

    The Scientist New Member

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    What is up with everyone on OT being so damn lenient with their girlfriends until they wallow around in shit until it gets so bad that they end up so damaged and jaded about dating and being faithful to anyone else in the future? This isn't rocket science. Do you think girls sit around all day twiddling their thumbs thinking of hypothetical questions to ask guys, like the ones she asked you? Girls are good at this shit. In her mind, she is satisfied because she feels as though she's given you enough information to draw your own conclusions...so she can rest her conscience, telling herself that she indirectly let you know that she's made out with some other guy, and because you didn't get upset, or have any response to it, then you're obviously okay with her doing so. This is nothing new. Don't be naive. I know you love this girl, and feelings are always tough when they're involved, but fuck, you've got the warning signs flashing right in front of your face. You just gonna ignore them? I bet there are a lot of people who could only WISH they could have seen something coming...and you have a pretty good idea of what's been going on, or could possibly go on, and you want to be nonchalant about it. I would badge her until she broke and told me...because there's obviously something there. I would make her think it's OK to reveal whatever is bothering her, and no sooner than she did, I'd bounce. Why sit around wasting your time with someone who is going to give you less than what you deserve and want...when you can find someone who would never even think about causing you this kind of pain or hurting your this way. I don't get how people do that to themselves...Either way, ignorance is bliss. Good luck.
     
  8. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Im not ignoring it. Its just kind of hard to try to talk to her last night at 3 am while she's at her parents house.

    I tried calling just now, left a voicemail saying that I need to talk to her about this..
     
  9. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    I just spoke to her about it. She's not happy with me at all right now, says that she was just asking, and she's angry that I would ever suggest that she cheated on me.
     
  10. MossMan813

    MossMan813 New Member

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    Get rid of her. Too much trouble either way. Either she's cheating and lying, or just playing games. Any normal person would be able to see your point of view for being concerned over a ridiculous question sequence like that...if she can't, there's a few screws missing, and MOST of the time it's easier to just get a new one rather then fix the old one.
     
  11. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    I understand what you mean, but you make it sound so easy. Im not going to go any further with this. From my experience, the truth always comes out from her. So if she has done anything, I'll eventually find out. If thats the case, I'll be sure to drop her like a stone. But without hard evidence, I dont want to risk the chance of ruining our relationship
     
  12. $shot

    $shot OT Supporter

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    well said
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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  14. The Scientist

    The Scientist New Member

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    Are you surprised? Of course she's going to act defensive. If she were truly innocent, then why would she get upset? She's the one who asked you the questions. She opened up that can of worms, got deep with it, and prolonged it...allowing it to fester and stay on your mind. You had EVERY right to ask her about it. The fact that she would try to feel justified in getting upset with you for asking is complete bullshit. Something was not right about her line of questioning...and I think her cutting upset is simply so she can play the victim to take the heat off of herself for feeling bad for what she's done.

    I understand your reluctance to say anything else about it for fear of ruining your relationship, and I can't even blame or fault you for that. But for the love of God, just don't be naive. Be more observant, and less open-minded. If anything, I can't see her being a repeat offender, simply because she KNOWS that you're serious about ending things. But if you're content with accepting the fact that she may have or may have not done something, and moving forward with your relationship, then so be it. It would just be something that would sit at the back of my mind and bother me. And hey, I can be alone and miserable by myself, than be miserable with someone who is supposed to make me happy. Good luck.
     
  15. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    I say that Im not going to pursue it now only because I dont want to look like the paranoid/insecure person in the relationship. I dont like being called "naive" either, because Im not oblivious to whats going on in my relationship. If I was, I wouldnt have even posted this in the first place.

    Trust me when I say that Im not going to just throw what she said out of my head for awhile
     
  16. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    thats EXACTLY what she would say if she did cheat on you
     
  17. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    What do you have to back that up?

    Im not going to forget about this, but there are opposing factors that I do know about her that would make it hard for to even cheat on me. She's just to busy, she's always at home with just her family, and never has friends come over. Ive spent several days before with her (last week too) at her classes. I cant honestly find a time in her day where she would even be capable of doing anything. Now Im not saying that its not, but I just find it hard for her to really have time to.

    I know her, if she really did something, she'd guilt herself into coming out with it
     
  18. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    It's weird considering the other day when you made a thread about her everyone was warning about her possibly cheating.

    Not trying to make you paranoid, but what she said was pretty fucking shady and stupid.
     
  19. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    I just dont know how she could. Between that thread before, I had been with her basically everyday of my break. She had went to a party for one of her friends, but it was basically run for by her parents w/ a bunch of other moms. I dont think it could have been that either, because it was just all girls...otherwise...:ugh:
     
  20. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Of course it wouldn't have been the week you were there to visit. You're not there 98% of the time though. Again, not trying to make you suspicious of her, but it is plausible :dunno:
     
  21. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Yea, anything is possible, Im not denying that, but its just very un-likely.

    I would just be in total shock if she did. Other then school, she has configured her current life around me. Shit, I know its only myspace, but there are enough references of me that would make me sick. She cries for me, my fucking fish died friday, and she was almost in tears cause she thought that I was in pain from that. I mean seriously, she's a damn good actor or she's real about it.

    I have always told her that if she ever cheats on me, that I will never take her back, and she knows this. That same night while on the subject, she told me that if I ever cheated on her, that she would give me a second chance :hsugh: I told her "dont you ever, because you have to learn to respect yourself."
     
  22. MercenaryForHire

    MercenaryForHire only you know the real truth

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    How's "Past Experience" work for you?

    Because I'm backing antihero up on this one.
     
  23. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Alright. Then next time provide the example of your experience.
     
  24. MossMan813

    MossMan813 New Member

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    No, it's DEFINITELY not easy. But neither is being in a relationship with someone who either cheats and/or plays mind games with you.
     
  25. enfiniti

    enfiniti How firm thy friendship ... OHIO!

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    a) she made out with some dude and wants to know if it was ok.

    b) she wants to make out with someone and wants to know if "its not sex it's not cheating"

    she fucking failed. Huge red flag regardless.
     

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