I know this is kinda long, and I think I've made some progress since then, but I want your opinions on this. I bet a lot of people here are in similiar positions. Here you go: When you're at bars/clubs/wherever, naturally you're somewhat in competition with all the other guys out there. So, how do you deal with the frat boy douche bags, the guys who exude sickening amounts of machismo that actually seems to work because they're always picking up girls? Here's where my problem lies: I'm not bad looking; I'm muscular and lean, I know how to dress, I'm intelligent, etc. However, say I see a gorgeous girl at a bar, and I see the aforementioned "Douche bags" pulling their shit on her, and it's working. When I see her falling for his crap, it turns me off... I think to myself, "if she goes for that crap then she's absolutely not my type at all." Do I have a valid point, or is this some subconscious defense mechanism that's occuring? I justify it as not wanting a girl who is shallow/stupid enough to be attracted to typical frat boy antics (which I view as "below" what I want to be socially). I hope I'm explaining this well. If I were to act like them it would make me sick, however I feel trapped bcause it seems like this is what's required to make conversation with/pick up the majority of chicks out there, but yet I'd rather have no company than bad company. Furthermore, I'm a bit of a misanthrope. I don't like most people I meet, and I find conversation with most people to be neither stimulating nor interesting. I'm not being pretentious here, but my idea of fun is not yelling about how much a ceratin sports team sucks, nor do I give a shit how tough the guy I'm talking to is when he's all "Man I totally kicked some dude's ass at a bar last weekend." It's not that I'm anti-social, it's just that most people bore me. It's kind of funny, tho, becuase from looking at me most people would assume I'm some fratboy jock or something. I work in corporate America, I'm clean cut, etc., but then someone gets in my car and they freak out because I'm listening to Dimmu Borgir or Stratovarius or something instead of their typical MTV radio shit like "the White Stripes" or whatever the talentless flavor of the week is. Not to be long-winded, but I'm trying to paint an accurate picture here. My free-thinker tendencies obviously go against the social grain and therefore hurt me socially when I'm out. Is there a way to remedy this without feeling like I'm selling myself out? Why do I always see chicks paying attention to guys that aren't that good looking and are acting like total douche bags? Is a good looking and intelligent guy a girl's second choice to an average looking douche bag? (this next paragraph isn't quite true anymore because, like I said, I wrote this a year ago) I'm 24, and I've really only had two girlfriends (each relationship was about 3 years long), both of whom were absolutely gorgeous and brilliant. However, I was lucky to meet them; obviously girls like that are not common. They also had similiar opinions as me regarding the social scene and were turned off by "douche bag behavior." So, I guess I'm asking for both everyday social advice as well as advice as it relates to getting chicks. I guess I don't see that much wrong with myself (other than typical insecurities), but I feel like I give off "don't talk to me" vibes, because I have only been approached by a girl ONCE, ever, in my entire life. My friends have told me that I give off arrogant, cocky vibes. When I enter a room full of people I don't know, people are not drawn to me (something that I originally thought was based on looks), and no one attempts to make conversation with me. If I initiate something, I feel like I get short answers (like what you do when you don't really want to talk to someone). At the same time, schmoozing pisses me off (because it's fake and because I can't do it). I guess I want to learn how to be more charismatic or something. I've seen physically unattractive people that are insanely charismatic, so it can't all be about looks, can it? I apologize again for this being so long, but I felt this was a good place to post this. Thanks for reading.