someone tells you they have no time to date anyone v.notlookingforarelationship

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by ballzofsteel83, May 18, 2008.

  1. ballzofsteel83

    ballzofsteel83 OT Supporter

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    so i went on a date with this girl and hung out with her once after.. everything seemed ok to me till she didn't respond to a text i sent at the begining of the week. so i send her a text on friday refrencing an inside joke and say well i guess you're too cool to talk to me these days. so i get a reply today with something along the lines of; oh no not too cool, really busy with work & school and i just don't really have time to date anyone because of my hectic schedule "but it was really fun hanging out with u"


    now i'm not looking at getting into a relationship with this girl at all.. is this her way of saying fuck off or does she think i want to pursue something?

    edit: our parents introduced us.. but i don't think thats really a weighing factor.
     
  2. ballzofsteel83

    ballzofsteel83 OT Supporter

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    oh yeah, how do i respond to this? do i even respond at all? she's nice and all, but i'm more interested in hooking up with her casually..
     
  3. forgotmyname

    forgotmyname Active Member

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    Polite way to say "I am not interested in you"
    Don't reply at all.
    You know, that "I don't have time to date" is a bullshit excuse.
     
  4. ballzofsteel83

    ballzofsteel83 OT Supporter

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    sounds about right.
     
  5. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Bitches think it's polite, but it would be more polite to say "I'm not interested."
     
  6. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    If she had time to go on that date with you, she'd have time for other dates later.
     
  7. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    not really. She didn't know how you would react...for all she knew, you could have made a big scene and gotten all needy.

    Giving you a somewhat legitimate sounding excuse reduces the chance of drama.

    Plus, girls think about guys in the way they think about girls...feelings are often more important than truth.

    Ignoring someone and/or not returning their calls/IMs/texts is the usual method for giving someone the hint.
     
  8. ballzofsteel83

    ballzofsteel83 OT Supporter

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    yeah i pretty much knew all this, but like always it gives a lot more closure when someone else spells it out for you.

    never been in this situation though.. would it be wrong to not acknowledge her if i see her somewhere?
     
  9. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    :hsugh: yes, it would be. She doesn't want to date you, it shouldn't be a huge blow to your ego
     
  10. GammaRadiation

    GammaRadiation Active Member

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    :werd:
     
  11. GammaRadiation

    GammaRadiation Active Member

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    If a guy makes a scene then he is a little he-bitch anyway and she wont have to deal with him agian anyway.

    If you are going to give someone the time of day to date them and hang out then you should respect them enough to tell the truth.

    It makes it even more akward for them if they turn around and want to hang out later on. Happened to me.

    Hung out with a girl one night and ended up sleeping in the same bed, not doing anything...just cuddling. For the next week or so we hung out or communicated almost on a daily bassis. On Gasparilla I started to drunk text her. Convorsaion went like so...

    Me: Too bad you couldnt come to gasparilla, it is pretty awsome. Guess I am going to have to take this bottle of rum to myself (I bought the rum SHE likes then her plans changed due to family)

    Her: Yeah, it sucks. Wish I could be there. Dont get too shwasted.

    Me: Yeah, I wish you could be here too. I need a hot chick to hang out with.

    Her: I am sure there are plenty of hot girls there for you to hang out with

    At this point I knew I was too drunk to play that game so I handed the phone over to my buddy's GF who knew nothing of the situation. IE, she didnt know I'd only been hanging with her a week. She texted back saying "You're the only girl I want right now." I knew bad shit just happened so I explained what happened to her the next time I saw her. From then on out she started acting weird. Then she fed me the "Too busy with school/work line." However, living on campus means you see the same people a lot. I still saw her just out sitting around, usually with other guys. I talked to her roomie who is a good friend of mine and she gave me the scoop. She didnt dislike me but couldnt get past the drunk texting akwardness.

    A few weeks go by and she tells me she wants to hang out. I threw her a big :ugh2:.
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2008
  12. ballzofsteel83

    ballzofsteel83 OT Supporter

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    well not openly snub her, just not make much of an effort to say hi..
     
  13. GammaRadiation

    GammaRadiation Active Member

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    Meh, I've had girls do worse to me. I still say hello and have a short convorsation with them if they seem like they are open to it. Of course I no longer treat them as I'm interested (wether or not I still would be). I treat them as an acquaintance, a not-quite friend. Just someone I know.
     
  14. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    I hung out a few times with a girl I recently met and it was a similar situation.

    But she was graduating, unsure of where she would be working upon graduation, held at least a few jobs, and was working on a big final project.

    Neither of us (to the best of my knowledge) thought we would enter a relationship, and both shared to one another that even if someone (it seemed clear to me we were indirectly referencing one another) came along we wouldn't want to.

    I was moving away for summer, she's graduating in like a week.

    Sure things slowed down and momentum was lost, but whether she's genuinely busy or not interested at all, I really can't care.

    It's not that I don't care-- because I do. She is one of the coolest girls I've met this year. But if i make it into something it's not, then I'm 'losing' a relationship that never existed. That's why I say I "can't" care -- stops me from putting meaning in something void of it.

    There are RARELY situations where a girl is going to push away a guy who she really likes. But it DOES happen. And whether this is one of those cases is not the point.

    The point is to not care about finding the true "root" of the issue, because the only thing it will do is make things worse for you... not give you closure.

    Last night my friend asked me what to say to this really persistent guy. She just got out of a relationship and wanted to be single. The thing is, this guy was actually pretty cool and under normal circumstances (if she wasn't newly single, just turned 21, and started summer break) she would have at least hung out with this guy as a date of sorts.

    The mere fact that he was trying to get to the ROOT of the issue (accusing her of being "confused" and "scared") pushed her away further. Instead of a "hey, maybe when we get back to school" it became a "oh fuck, I need to text my friend and find out what to say to this CREEP".
     
  15. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    if you're not close friends with her, not actively trying to pursue her, then yeah, you don't have to make a huge effort to talk to her if she is around. She'll be just another very distant acquaintance.

    Be civil, of course, but there's no need to make it more than it is. You KNOW her, but that's about it. No big deal.
     
  16. forgotmyname

    forgotmyname Active Member

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    Not trying to hijack your thread dude, but I've gotten into similar situations. I went out with this girl, we had a great time, I even kissed her at the end of the date. Never heard back from her. Next time I contacted her, she told me "I was too old for her", which is actually true, but should've said that before going out with me the first time. :ugh:

    The on a different case, I got this girl's numbers and she asked for mine. Then I even said, "lets go out" to which she said, "ok yeah" but I never did go out with her. Turns out she has a boyfriend, but we were still talking to each other like nothing happened. :squint:
     
  17. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    She's trying to say that she is not interested in a "nice" way.

    Move on and don't play the fool by persuing her. Just text her back and say something along the lines of "I had fun hanging out too. Take care".
     
  18. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    All these stories everyone is posting makes me wonder what the fuck is going thru womens minds. Seriously, I've had girls persue me in the past that I had no interest in, and I told them straight up I didn't like them like that but that we could be friends. I don't see why stupid bitches can't do the same thing out of respect for men.
     
  19. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    How is ignoring someone considered "nice"?

    That is fucking bullshit and you know it.

    If I ignored any of my friends when they try messaging me or calling me they would all be pissed off at me. Even the other way around if you have a friend you are trying to contact and if they were to ignore you, you would be mad that they aren't replying back.

    So again, how is ignoring someone after you have spent some time hanging out with them, leading them to believe some level of attraction was there, considered "nice"?
     
  20. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Did we really need another thread for this? I mean the OP is an :03: with a sub.....can't you search, haven't you posted here before and seen this thread 11tybillion times already?
     
  21. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl: How could her response ever make you think that she wants you? She's clearly blowing you off (in her nicest way possible). And don't be petty, if you see her out be civil and say hello.
     
  22. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    We're not talking about two close friends here. It's simply the case of they went out once, she found out she wasn't attracted to him, so she didn't pursue him any further.

    I've done this quite a bit...meet someone, go out, have an enjoyable time, but have no real strong desire to contact them and go out again...so I don't.

    It's not the end of the freaking world. Most likely, everyone has done it, and has had it done to then.
     
  23. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    A). Don't talk about women showing you respect when you refer to them as "stupid bitches" in the same sentence.

    B). Sometimes people aren't looking for friends. I don't look for friends...I look for romantic partners. I have enough friends, and don't want to waste my time on pursuing another friendship with a woman if there is zero attraction.

    The whole point of dating is to go out and meet people and find someone you're attracted to/compatible with. If you're not attracted to them or compatible, why would you waste any more time with them?
     
  24. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    she has low interest in you
     
  25. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    A) I've been nothing but respectful and nice to women my whole life and I have nothing to show for it. Women just aren't attracted to nice guys that respect them. The only time I've had women interested in me was either the ones I've ignored because I wasn't attracted to them, or this one time at a party I decided since I had no chance with this cute chick I liked I was going to be the biggest jackass/asshole to her that night. And by the end of the night she wanted to go home with me.

    It may sound like I am bitter, well I am... I am done being respectful and nice to women because they don't respect me as a man in return.

    Just like the OP I have been in this situation many times. A girl seems interested, hangs out with me, I thought we had fun together and then just never replies to my phone call or message. All I am saying is it would be more respectful for the girl to just say she isn't interested anymore or that it isn't going to workout. Dropping what she thinks are "hints" is just plain rude. I've been nothing but upfront with girls in the past that liked me but I had no interest in. I've told them I wasn't interested in them like that. If a girl told me the same thing, I'd respect her, I wouldn't whine or cry about it, I'd move on, tell her it was nice meeting her and never contact her again.

    B) I'm not looking for friends either, I have my friends. I can't really be friends with women because other than hot sex I have nothing else in common with them. I can hang out with my guy friends and talk about sports, women and other guy things but I have nothing to talk about with female friends. So if a woman just said "Let's just be friends" I get the picture, and wouldn't waste anymore time with them either.
     

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