someone talk me out of it

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by swisher59, Jun 21, 2005.

  1. swisher59

    swisher59 New Member

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    i was in love once. and i got hurt. badly.
    if you kick a dog enough times, it'll start to think it did something wrong. i haven't dated in more than a year because i feel no one could ever love me. anytime i meet someone, i'll tell myself that it won't work before anything can happen. after all, you can't get disappointed if you expect nothing.
    then i met her.
    we go out for drinks one night. to a baseball game on another. her friend asks her why we're not together. she says, 'i can't, i work with him. besides i'm already seeing someone.'
    her friend says, 'but i've never seen you laugh this much with the other guy.'
    we go to a broadway musical. we go out for drinks again. she tells me she thought she was happy with the other guy, but not so much anymore. that she usually dates more outgoing guys like me.
    there's no way she could possibly be interested in me. she's 32. i'm 24. we work in the same office. she's already dating someone else. yet, i can't stop thinking about her. i'm a nervous wreck around her, yet i constantly want to be around her. when she smiles or laughs at something i say, i feel the knot in my stomach getting tighter.
    shit, i think i'm in love.

    we have dinner plans this weekend. i think i should say something, but i know i'm only going to get hurt. someone please talk me out of it.
     
  2. RockChick

    RockChick New Member

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    she wouldnt go out with you that often if she wasnt interested!
    at least thats what i think as a woman. i wouldnt, if i wasnt interested, i wouldnt go out with him.

    you like her, you have a damn huge crush on her... why work against it?
    you got hurt, we all get hurt at least once in our life...
    my bf is complicated cos he got hurt often in his love life... hes scared of falling in love again... scared of getting hurt again, just like you. but we are together and its all good... he even told me that he was almost saying the L word and that this is scaring him...

    there is no reason not to date someone who is older than you or someone who works with you... go for it, man. tell her that you cant get her out of your head, tell her that you are scared cos you got hurt... women wanna hear the truth... it makes things alot easier! GO FOR IT!

    good luck.
     
  3. AstroGirl

    AstroGirl If I don't respond it's because I have severe ADD

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    Her mosa? ITS MY MOSA!!!
    I wouldn't date someone I work with, but other than that I would say go for it. Maybe you should wait it out till her and her current BF falls through though, it is not like she is going to go anywhere and you don't want to be "that guy."
     
  4. sipherx

    sipherx Jamesl.info

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    Jus do da damn thang!:wiggle:
     
  5. swisher59

    swisher59 New Member

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    thanks for your vote of confidence people.
    my only problem is she only seems interested when she's not in the office or around other people. which makes sense, i guess, if she doesn't want her personal life to interfere with her professional life.
    but it doesn't give me the confidence that she likes me.
    i mean, even though she hangs out with me, she might just think 'we're friends'. which i try to avoid by insisting on picking up the tab. who knows.
    but you can't win big if you don't bet big--so i'll just give it a shot. wish me luck.
     
  6. swisher59

    swisher59 New Member

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    an update for those who care--i had a friend get the skinny on what was going through her mind. she's clueless that i like her.
    and she's getting serious with this other guy. basically because she thinks there's no other options.
    but her mind is set, and i don't want to try to convince her otherwise. so i sit back, keep my mouth shut, and get back to my excel sheet.
    ain't love a bitch?
     
  7. AstroGirl

    AstroGirl If I don't respond it's because I have severe ADD

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    Her mosa? ITS MY MOSA!!!
    Aww, I am sorry to hear that.
     
  8. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    Why not tell her? She may not want to get serious with that other guy, especially if she "thinks it's her only option". Show her there's another. ;)
     
  9. RockChick

    RockChick New Member

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    yeah... its worth a try... she just doesnt know that there is someone else... TRY IT!!!
     
  10. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    Keep trying :hs:

    She shouldn't show you any interest that isn't work-related while in the office at all, otherwise she'd be overstepping her bounds. This is what makes office relationships so painful when they end.

    Anyway, if you're both responsible about it, I don't see why work should stop you. I live and work with my boyfriend. We keep our personal lives outside the office. :wiggle:
     
  11. swisher59

    swisher59 New Member

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    you guys are dope. thanks for the support.
    but she basically said, 'i don't think i'm going to date other people.' although she's not really happy with him (not to mention he's ashamed of her, that's another story), that's her decision.
    she's an extremely attractive girl--it's not like she doesn't get hit on regularly. but even then if she's going to be exclusive with this chump, what makes me think i'll be any different?
    in the mean time i guess i'll just have fun, flirt with her friends, and be the life of the party like i usually am and let her stare awkwardly into her drink.
    i don't want to put my cards on the table when she's already decided to fold...
     
  12. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    Sometimes a new hand is all it takes to get her back in the game. ;)
     
  13. EdvardGrieg

    EdvardGrieg New Member

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    She's folding though because she thinks she's the only one playing. You need to show/tell her that you are in the game too.
     
  14. swisher59

    swisher59 New Member

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    good point--they say women are competitive by nature. my stock will probably soar through the roof when she sees me with other women. wait, that's what you mean, right?

    i think she's unlikely to just drop this guy for me. he's really done nothing wrong and she's somewhat obligated towards him (her roommate introduced them two). to avoid any messy drama, i guess i need to play the waiting game, that is if by then she won't be in the usual 'i want to just be single for now' mentality.

    WHICH LEADS ME TO MY NEXT QUESTION: should i continue to hang out with her? although the answer seems obvious, it could mean:
    * me potentially becoming a better 'friend' and therefore off-limits
    * me coming home with blueballs while she goes home to her boyfriend
    * basic agony and torture of being around what you can't have

    or on the other hand:
    * staying on the inside to keep planting seeds of doubt about her boyfriend
    * building a stronger relationship
    * knowing exactly when (and that is IF) they break up to swoop in for the instant kill

    thoughts?
     
  15. Riconosuave

    Riconosuave New Member

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    Good luck, bro. I make it a rule not to date people I work with. Chances are it won't work out, and I would hate to feel uncomfortable at work, considering how much of our lives are spent in the work place. I try to be friendly and cordial, but I don't try to get into their social lives or ask them about their relationships. It works out best this way.
     

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