Someone explain this to me...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by adamlewis88, Aug 25, 2009.

  1. adamlewis88

    adamlewis88 New Member

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    From another thread here..

    What the hell is there in college that is so character-building and life-altering (for the better) that you shouldnt have a S.O. when you go?

    Is it hooking up with random people?
    Is it having multiple 'friends with benefits'?
    Is it getting trashed every other night?
    Is it sleeping in a fucking prison cell they call a dorm?

    I hear this bullshit line from so many people nowadays and it drives me fucking nuts.

    'Oh I like you but I dont want to be tied down' BULLSHIT! You DONT like them and you never really did. You just want to slut it up

    'I think I need to experience other things and see other people to know youre the one' BULLSHIT! You either know someone is 'the one' or you know theyre not. If you THINK you need to see other people to figure this out, then the original person WAS NOT THE ONE!

    Im SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO fucking tired of the mentality that college is just the bees knees and college life is the best. Im sorry, but I dont know ANYTHING good about college aside from making business connections, getting a degree, and getting the FUCK OUT!
     
  2. adamlewis88

    adamlewis88 New Member

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  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :hsugh: did you go to college?
     
  4. adamlewis88

    adamlewis88 New Member

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    Yeah. 6 years of the liberal bullshit too.
     
  5. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    :bowdown:

    Very TRUE. The mentality in here is just this, writing the same prescription for every one, oh you are going to go to college? you should start single:rofl:
     
  6. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    umm.. the best years of my life were college, and I'm glad I was single for the majority of them.


    I met a lot of new people. Many times in relationships (especially long distance), you're not in as many situations where you're meeting new people if you're constantly with your SO or home visiting for the weekend (or them visiting you).

    I joined a sorority and made the best girlfriends I could ever ask for. I've seen it first hand, many many relationships don't survive Greek life.


    College isn't just about drinking and partying and sleeping around - there's so much more to it. If you went to college and didn't experience anything good about it, I really feel sorry for you. :hs: People aren't saying a SO will completely limit the good experiences you have in college, but having one can really limit the things you choose to involve yourself in. Personally, when I was younger and in relationships I had to be with that person and didn't really care about much else, and that's sadly a mentality a lot of teenagers/young adults have. I couldn't imagine that mentality in college and limiting myself in the activies I got involved in. Also, IMO, in college is when you truly find and become comfortable with yourself - and this continues immensely after you graduate. A lot of relationships fail during college years because of this. Most people are truly different people, for the good or the bad, after their college years.


    This isn't to say all relationships will fail through college. Like everything there are exceptions.
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    And all you did was get wasted and fuck random people?
     
  8. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    Those years are usually a huge change in your personality. Most people won't be anywhere near the same, so why keep with a girl that is going to change and you are going to change ?
     
  9. adamlewis88

    adamlewis88 New Member

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    I was with my wife (girlfriend at the time) the whole time I was in college. I met a ton of cool people. However,...

    I met a ton of cool people on the internet
    I met a ton of cool people in the local car scene
    I met a ton of cool people in the local photography scene
    I met a ton of cool people through work
    I met a ton of cool people through traveling.

    Whats so good and unique about college again? And why do I need to be single to meet these people?



    And why dont they survive 'greek' life? If by 'greek' you mean the party-every-night-and-do-a-keg-stand-with-a-goat kind of greek, then yeah; I see why they dont work. However, if by 'greek' you mean a sorority or fraternity that helps you study, gives you a nice place to live, and helps you make connections in the business world, then no; I dont see why you cant have a S.O. and make that happen. Please explain.

    Like I said, what exactly does it limit you in? You keep on talking about being 'limited' but you never explain from what. And before you go into it, if youre 'limited' because you HAVE to be with your S.O., I think your problem is with your own insecurities and NOT with your S.O.
     
  10. adamlewis88

    adamlewis88 New Member

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    I highly suggest you re-read or go to sleep and try again in the morning.
     
  11. adamlewis88

    adamlewis88 New Member

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    So since there is 'usually' a huge change in your personality (which Im sure you have some data to back your claim that at least 51% of college students exhibit a large enough personality shift for it to be considered a 'change', right?), thats good enough reason to dump someone youve been spending time with?

    'Ah...well...chances are Im gonna change...so...smell ya later!'

    What the hell kind of reasoning is that?

    People always have the chance of changing. You could have a life-altering experience tomorrow. I guess that means you should just call it off with everyone, right?
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :bowdown: very well said

    .

    And to add, college is supposed to be the most carefree time in your life! You usually don't have to worry about house payments or your career, you just go to class, hang with friends and do whatever the hell you want finally with no parental say.

    Being single for almost all of college was :bowdown: I didn't listen to older friends who said not to bother seriously dating in highschool and regretted so much how many years I wasted on one stupid guy. Once I got to college I vowed to meet as many people as possible and just date casually. I wouldn't change a thing about my experience. Just thinking about dating someone seriously during college like I did in highschool makes me cringe, because I KNOW it would have held me back from meeting people, trying new things, and most importantly I might not have learned what kind of guy was right for me.

    If I got serious with every guy I went on one date with I probably wouldn't have had as great a time and would have ended the relationships eventually because who I was and what I wanted changed so swiftly in those years.
     
  13. MCohen

    MCohen #NotMyPresident #AmericaIsAlreadyGreat #GoSolar OT Supporter

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    If you're going to quote me at least give me credit or quote the entire thing.
     
  14. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    College is about meeting people, not sitting in your dorm/apartment on your computer, meeting people online. Yes, you can meet other people in other avenues in life, no one ever said the ONLY way to meet people is through college. But, I highly doubt that I will ever again in my life have the opportunity to constantly be surrounded by 40,000 and have the chance to meet someone on a very frequent, very regular basis.


    The people I knew who had failed relationships had SO's who could not grasp the idea that they chose to involve themselves in something that required time. Yes, there's partying, but it goes deeper. Hate all you want on greek life, I'm not here to defend it. Some of my best friends lost boyfriends and girlfriends because the other party got jealous or couldn't deal with the time commitment that we sometime put into things - i.e, recruitment, rush, homecoming, philanthropic events, and other sisterhood gatherings. My sorority did give me a nice place to live, awesome real world connections that I'm still reaping the benefits of, and helped me academically, as well as allowed me a social outlet. Again, some people can make a relationship survive, some cannot. It takes two to tango, and it sometimes take compromise, and sometimes in college, one person or the other in the relationship cannot handle that compromise.



    I have no insecurities. When I first started college, sure, I probably did. I think a lot of people do. People change. But when we're talking 18 and 19 years old, it's easy to be insecure. Say person A wants to join XYZ group/team/organization/whatever and person B doesn't want to support them for any reason (doesn't like the group's activities, doesn't want to give up spending time with the person, WHATEVER). Do you really think most college freshmen are going to still join that group when the "love of their life" frowns upon it. And, do you think that person is going to harbor resentment when they realize they misses out?


    Congrats, you survived college and got married. Few people I know did them.

    But, congrats, you graduated college with a bitter outlook, which I do not envy. It doesn't matter what I say or think, you'll argue until you're blue in the face trying to make me think I'm wrong.
     
  15. MCohen

    MCohen #NotMyPresident #AmericaIsAlreadyGreat #GoSolar OT Supporter

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    No offense to the TS, but you're coming off as really bitter.
     
  16. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    .


    Same for me, same for me.
     
  17. P-Nut

    P-Nut Active Member

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    College was good. Was in an on and off again relationship for 5 years and ended up marrying her. Yeah, I was with/slept/hung out with other women when we were not in a relationship, but nothing I regret.

    I hung with a frat, but never joined. I am treated like a brother, moreso than some of the real brothers. We partied hard and studied harder. I had a 4.0 for undergrad and I partied with my friends 5 or 6 nights a week.

    My friends have turned into contacts, well, for the most part. A couple have gone on and are trying to get me to back to law school with them. Right now I cannot, although I passed my LSAT with a 167.

    In all, from a guys perspective, we tend to do things w/o a woman than we would if there was one around. Are these always smart decisions? Not really, but they are life changing and a great time for learning about yourself and finding who you are.

    You did not have fun in college did you?
     
  18. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl: :werd:

    If you're so happy after college I don't get the whole hate on it. If you're over it then get over it.

    I met my fiancé at the end of college. Do I wish I had met him sooner? No way, I'm so glad I got to date around before settling down.
     
  19. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    I miss those days A LOT, wish I could go back in time:wtc: Oddly tho, the friends of mine that have been in relationships could make even as many friends as me and they did better in school too...
     
  20. adamlewis88

    adamlewis88 New Member

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    When did I say it was about sitting at a computer? I said thats ONE way of MANY that Ive met MANY people. You have still yet to tell me why you couldnt be surrounded by 40,000 and have the chance to meet someone on a very frequent, very regular basis AND still have a S.O.




    Fair enough. Some can make it work and some cannot. However, it still boggles me when people just go ahead and ASSUME it wont work and say they need to be single for college.





    Like I said, if that problem arises, and it cannot be resolved, than maybe the people should break up. HOWEVER, what Im trying to get it is why do people offer the ridiculous advice of PREEMPTIVELY breaking up with your S.O. before college?


    Believe me, I am anything but bitter. I couldnt be happier. All I am currently is confused and annoyed by people who offer the bullshit advice that Ive been talking about and that people have yet to give me an actual answer.
     
  21. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    I think a lot of it has to do with personality. Some people really know how to be individuals in relationships and branch out and be there own person. Some cannot - and that's in every age group.

    I made a lot of friends in college. I was always involved in something, always socializing somewhere. I did very well, and, in some instances, I did better than some of my more, sheltered friends (did better than some of my friends who partied too much, too :mamoru:)
     
  22. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    If you were a quadruple amputee could you count the amount of girls you had sex with in college on your fingers and toes?
     
  23. adamlewis88

    adamlewis88 New Member

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    No shit! :eek3: Srsly?


    Yes Im being sarcastic.
     
  24. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    I think people base their advice on what they see or no. It's the norm to go through college and change drastically. It's the norm to enter college with a relationship, and leave it behind. It's not typically the norm to enter college with a relationship and leave with it.

    And, honestly, maybe it has everything to do with college, and maybe it doesn't. Maybe it has everything to do with the age group. When an 18 or 19 year old is devastated because the "love of their life" lost interest/cheated/broke up/etc. what is the most common thing they hear? 'You're young. Don't waste time dwelling. You're gonna change and meet someone better.'

    Maybe it's ignorant to advise EVERYONE that they should be single throughout college. There are a lot of ignorant things humans say/do. I think the basis of this advice, again, has a lot to do with what we've seen and experienced through college ourselves. Take you for example, you met your wife in college, making your relationship experience a positive one. Naturally, you're going to disagree with the advice to stay single in college, because you're an exception. Same reason why the many of us who did not graduate and marry hour high school or college sweetheart but broke up with them are going to give advice that we wish we had known then.
     
  25. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    :rofl::rofl: Maybe, maybe not.


    If one cannot, is it due to lack of sexual action or lack of fingers ad toes to count them on? :mamoru:
     

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