LGBT Some Tips, advice, warnings for the newly "OUT"

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by Josey, Jan 2, 2006.

  1. Josey

    Josey New Member

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    Ya know, with all you great guys and the few gals we have in the Closet, I think we should do a Sticky, and have everyone that feels they can contribute something Post.

    I think, it might help more people than we'll ever know cause a lot still can't trully be comfortable enough to admit it publicly, but will still learn and give them the support they can't find, or are still too ashamed/embarrased to ask for.

    Whatchall think?
     
  2. MapleLeaf

    MapleLeaf New Member

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    I could contribute. :)
     
  3. coma

    coma New Member

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    I'm in for this.
     
  4. RedGoober4Life

    RedGoober4Life New Member

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    I could help. :)
     
  5. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    ...in.
     
  6. sholnay

    sholnay New Member

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    im sure i'll think of something....

    are we to post in this thread?
     
  7. Josey

    Josey New Member

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    NO....we need to have Nova or girl next door, make a sticky and then start posting there.
     
  8. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    My advice is to take the time to know yourself. When moving toward coming out, there is a lot of emphasis on labels--and that can be complicated, confusing, and different depending on who you ask.

    Typically, these labels deal with sexual orientation,which refers to whom you find sexually and/or romantically attractive. Words like 'gay', 'bi', 'str8t', 'queer', and other like them refer to sexual orientation. Realize that these words are really about how people feel, and not what they do. Because so many people confuse sexual orientation with sexual behavior, a lot of people compound already complication situations... Sexual behavior refers to what you do (literally). IE, what kinds of sexual stuff you do, and with whom. Now, throw into that mix the pressure some gay men face to be, or at least to act str8t, and you get all sorts of self-loathing.

    And confusion, when 'str8t' men try to sleep with you. Now it's totally possible for a str8t guy to be curious and want one or two sexual experiences with another guy. And he'd still be straight (by the definitions above, if not by society). Just remember that if he's curious enough to have lots of sexual experiences with other guys, chances are he has some sexual or romantic feelings about other guys, too. But staying with him to work out his internal issues is draining, so tread carefully.

    Know that no-one chooses their sexuality. Some gay people knew they were different, if not gay, from as young as five or six. It is said that, for most of us, our sexuality is determined by the age of 12 or 13...with 16 being the latest, but that isn't always true. For many young gay or bisexual people, adolescence can be a time of particular anxiety and fear. Many lesbians and gay men look back on that part of their lives with sadness and regret. Because there are very few positive gay role models and a lot of hostility towards openly gay people, gay teenagers often become painfully aware that they are not like other people and many become withdrawn and lonely, convinced that only they are feeling this way. They learn to hide their true feelings or act as others want them to, for fear of being ostracized, ridiculed, or rejected by loved ones and friends. Above all, there can be a sense that we are somehow different, that we are abnormal and that we are going to disappoint people.

    Some people believe that if they get married their gay feelings will disappear. It is unusual for this to happen. Most store up a great deal of stress and anxiety for their later years. Coming out as a gay parent has particular challenges. Breaking out of a clearly defined role, or even attempting to shift the definition of it, involves tremendous courage, strength, and support. The conflict between their relationship with their spouse and family and their need to be themselves can be enormous.

    By and large, society tends to assume that everyone is, or wants to be, heterosexual. This is known as heterosexism. Some people continue to believe that it is a choice and that we can be persuaded into heterosexuality--and that is wrong. By assuming heterosexuality, society gives rise to the dilemma, for those of us who know we are gay, of whether to hide our sexuality or to come out...and depending on your specific situation, that can be a daunting decision.
     
  9. MapleLeaf

    MapleLeaf New Member

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    Is it inappropriate to post watch out for MapleLeaf, he is a perv :p

    If not, then I will :)
     
  10. GND

    GND BBP! OT Supporter

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    someone start a new thread or I'll sticky this one. :)
     
  11. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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  12. Josey

    Josey New Member

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  13. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    you're welcome :wiggle:
     
  14. lostandfound

    lostandfound New Member

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    I'm all sticky now!!!
     
  15. Josey

    Josey New Member

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    Oh, goodness, I think I know who "Lostandfound" is....
     
  16. lostandfound

    lostandfound New Member

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    Yea like that was so hard to figure out........... Did I say OUT well I guess it and I am
     

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