SRS some things I do..

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by familyguy101, Jun 25, 2006.

  1. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    I'm 18, don't have any real "friends", just associates. I pretty much don't do shit all day except for work. I have absolutely no girlfriends, even though I want at least one. I'm very bored all the time. I have a very week relationship with family. I'm addicted to smoking. Can smoking have anything to do with depression? There are no physical problems with me, they are all mental and emotional. I think I have a very distorted self image.

    Some things I do...
    For some reason, I keep my arms crossed when I'm around people.
    I also have to stop every 5 minutes and evaluate how i'm doing around people.
    At work, we have meetings. I am very anxious and nervous at these meetings because there are 3 very attractive girls there.
    I answer questions in very shot replies. Like "yes, no, I don't know, maybe". I can't answer like an adult.
    I don't clean up after myself at home.
    I generally feel like a mess.
    I have a very distorted self image/social image. I can't pinpoint what my role is in social groups/what I look like to other people.
    I smoke everyday. Is this attractive to people at all? what does that say about a young kid who is smoking?
    I feel very skinny/weak.
    I have a big problem with carelessness. What I mean by this is that sometimes I fall into a state of carelessness and I just don't care about anything at all.
    Wow, what the hell is wrong with me?
     
  2. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    The crossed arms is usually body language telling other people you want to be isolated. You should find something else to do, like play pocket pool or clasp them behind your back.
    That charles wesley thing is bunk. You can never enjoy life if you can't let go for a while.
    Talk to more women. Anywhere. Everywhere. Eventually they won't phase you.
    I'm the same way with social groups. You're a loner. Some people probably see you as stuck up and aloof, most love having you around, but feel like they're bugging you by asking for more.
    Smoking is ass. Stop.
     
  3. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    First of all you're 18. You're supposed to be miserable. It gets better, I promise.

    Second of all, you may be clinically depressed. Consider seeing a doctor. If you have this disease, you can't think your way out of it.

    Third of all, if you want to be happy, you have to create. Find something that interests you, and then create something. This will give your life meaning. Meaning, challenge, struggle... these impart happiness. This is why most teenagers are miserable. Trapped in a culture of conformity, they have no outlet for their creativity. Get an outlet, and you'll get some happiness.
     
  4. Achmiel

    Achmiel Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshi

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    Quit crossing your arms, and don't put them in your pockets either - it gives off the impression that you're hiding something.

    It's normal to wonder how you fit in image-wise, etc. I get the impression that you don't seem comfortable being "you." If that's the case, people are going to get that vibe :hs:

    Why so nervous around your attractive co-workers? I wouldn't reccomend "dipping your pen in teh company ink" so to speak. You should befriend them - they may have a girlfriend that "you should meet"

    Smoking is bad, but everybody has their vice... Shit, I smoke. :dunno:

    And clean up after yourself! The appearance of your room/apt/home is a reflection on you!

    GlassUser & Peyomps advice is really good... Good luck!
     
  5. Sotangledup

    Sotangledup Guest

    You sound a bit depressed. I agree on the everyone's comments about crossing your arms. It does give the impression you don't want to talk to people & that you are pissed off. ( I do all the time too and I'm learning to stop the behavior).

    If you feel you work all the time, find a club to join, a hobbie or even a sport. You'll start feeling better about yourself and possibly meet new people.

    I can't say much about the smoking because I am a smoker myself. Sure some people don't like it & there's plenty who do but what's important is how YOU feel about it.
    Remember believing in yourself/your actions and feeling good about yourself makes others feel the same way about you.

    Try to take more care of your apt/your mess, make an extra big effort to clean & keep it clean. Reward yourself for cleaning & keeping in that way.
    For example if you keep your place looking good for 5 days buy yourself something.
    I know it seems a little childish but it will help you create a good habit & get rid of your old ones.
    I also feel that once you feel interested in other things, people, you will start taking better care of yourself/ apt. Sometimes we don't pick after our mess because we don't really give a damn since we aren't happy.
    When you start feeling happy, you start giving a damn & you start taking action.

    Good luck :), keep us posted.
     
  6. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    i'd definately like to find an outlet for creativity. I have a hobby, but it is too expensive and I must work to support it. I'm also trying to find my career choice. I'm going for pilot simply because the job requires very little public speaking/good pay/at 30,000 ft. you are pretty isolated. I don't want this job that much anymore though, i can't find a career that appeals to me. what the hell should I do to find something? Career councelors tell me the same BS everytime, "explore your options". Well great, but how can I explore if I don't have ship to do it in?
     
  7. Achmiel

    Achmiel Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshi

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    What's your hobby? Mine is cars which is expensive, so I'm more maintaining my car than fixing it up right now LOL. My other is playing guitar, which isn't too bad.

    Word of advice: do something you love or else you'll end up like a majority of the working class - they hate their jobs which affects their life. I'm one of those people, so I need to get out of that trap...
     
  8. Sotangledup

    Sotangledup Guest

    Maybe take a trip FAR FAR away, not to get away from your current place but to be in a different environment. Perhaps being exposed to a completely different culture/atmosphere will help you find something that you will enjoy, maybe something right where you live.

    If you can't take a trip due to your job then start visiting random places that you wouldn't go to say a comedy club or something, a music festival. You never know where you will find something that inspires you.
     

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