SRS some realizations after a few shit weeks

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Want2race, Mar 9, 2008.

  1. Want2race

    Want2race Fearless

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    Its taken me a few days to realize several things that have happened over the last few weeks

    1. I want a kid! They are AMAZING in a way nothing else even comes close.
    It doesnt have to be any time soon....

    2. You dont need to understand everything. Accepting things makes you stronger,
    questioning things makes you weaker.

    3. Some things are worth fighting for! but too much fighting is a sign youve failed.

    4. If something feels really good, it has the potential to feel really bad.
    Those phone calls you once loved waiting for may become the worst part of your day when you
    spend hours watching your phone waiting to see if someone called.

    5. Letting people into your life gives you unbelievable possibilities.

    6. Its probably better to have a best friend and a girl friend who arent the same person.
    Spread the risk of losing one or the other.

    7. Being a single mom must be one of the hardest things in the world.
    I respect these ladies enourmously!

    8. Money isnt important as long as your confortable. Great people make you forget your money problems
    and appreciate the things you do have! On the other side of the coin pay people what you owe them
    when you say you will pay them. Its the right thing to do.

    9. Work wont make you happy and working from home leaves you with an odd feeling of being all alone

    10. When friendships are tested you might not want to see the results. People you think are your
    friends will disapoint you at the time you need them most.

    11. We wach have the ability to control our own destiny. Those who fail to realize this waste
    the chance to change sculpt their own world!
     
  2. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    I think kids are great, but I'm far from ready with my health the way it is.

    I agree with the first part. I mean I don't know how electricity works in all it's details, but that doesn't prevent me from flipping the light switch when I walk into a room. I don't need to understand everything to use the end result. Now the second part, I believe there are priorities. There are important questions that must be asked, and I believe by asking them it makes you stronger. However, if you become obsessed with asking questions over issues which are trivial relative to the result you're trying to create, then it will indeed make you weaker. You'll lose power getting caught up in the trite and meaningless.

    The most intelligent people in the world all have this in common, they ask a lot of questions, but they select their questions carefully.

    Absolutely true. The slogan "Easy Dose It" comes to mind here. "Let go, Let it be" also rings true. I learned a concept while reading a book by Bruce Lee called "The art of fighting, without fighting" -- he talks about moving efficiently and intelligently when confronted either by a problem of your mind, or a physical attack. Some attacks can literally be diffused without ever having to throw a punch, and the same is true for the attacks we feel from life. Flowing with things, can often solve a lot of problems that don't respond well to force.

    That's how all addictions begin. Being able limit yourself in advance is key. Many people don't realize they even have that chance.

    The opposite rings true too. Go out of your way once a week to call the top 5 people in your life. Go out of your way to call the next top 5, 5-10, at least once per month. This is how you show respect and keep relationships strong. Always send cards, small gifts, or give a phone call on holidays and birthdays. While you may not like doing them (I hate doing them, and I hate the telephone, and I'm cheap as fuck, I hate spending money) -- I still do "small" things, because it comes back around and it honors the relationships.

    Just be careful who you let in. Keep your guard up and make people prove themselves before you allow yourself to bond with them. It takes time for people to have enough experiences where they know they can generally depend on the other person to be honest, kind, etc. This helps you to tell who is worth discarding (The people who will cause drama) and the good people that will improve your quality of life.

    I agree. However, I prefer to have a "best male" friend, and a "best girl" friend who are both separate from my actual girlfriend that I'm intimate with. I may be exceedingly good friends with my girlfriend, but the dynamics of the relationship are entirely different than the other girl or guy I'm best friends with.

    I feel the same way about single fathers.

    You said it chief. Money matters on the bottom two rungs of Maslow's Heiarchy of needs. Once fundamental health, physical, and mental needs are met, money is not the factor which will bring joy, it can only serve as a possible vehicle.

    It's true that working from home without any consistent external relationships will bring lonliness to most people. Working does bring a lot of joy to people, even though most claim otherwise. In-fact people say they feel most "useful and most productive" when at work. A lot of studies have been done showing this to be a fact. People are at their best when working. Most people feel bored and lethargic when they have no structure or plans. So even on the weekends being "productive" often means working in some form, whether it's building relationships with friends by doing something fun together, or playing in a band, or even working out! Work doesn't end where play begins. Work is anything which "builds" and "expends energy."

    Absolutely true in my experience. When I fell ill, only one person out of many stayed. They all abandoned me. They acted like I'd never existed. In-fact I'm ending a friendship right now with someone who I've known for over 15 years, that's over half my life. A few years ago this person received a phone call when my illness was at it's worst. I had a fever of 106, I was in the middle of a treatment that was killing me, and someone had to be home to watch me incase I had to go to the ER. My family called my friend "Joe". Joe debated for 15 mins saying he couldn't come over. He could, he just didn't want to. He was saying "I'd have to drive all the way over, and I'm supposed to do laundry etc etc."

    Finally he came over after being convinced but he didn't want to stay long, only 30-60 mins before he wanted to leave. However once there and he saw the condition I was in he said he'd call someone else to take his place.

    That's not a friend. I was dying, and he was concerned about a 10 mins drive across town and load of laundry.

    We have "some" control, but there are millions of events happening around us which we can't control. The possibility of death is ever present, and inevitable whether from accident, murder, disease, or just plain old age. Live based on the possibilities of success, that you're the creator, but you are not the final say.

    Those are just some of my thoughts based on what you've said. Maybe they're useful to you or others.
     
  3. OccamvanRijn

    OccamvanRijn I am not what I am

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    Both of these things are important. I think an important moment in my life was the hour I recognized that I was in complete control of my beliefs and actions. You never have to do anything you don't want to, and you are allowed to be whatever kind of person you want. Life doesn't inherently have a point, you get to pick one for yourself. It's extremely freeing.

    Things happen that you can't control, but you get to decide how you respond to them. At least I will set my own lands in order...
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    So you're still with that girl?
     
  5. Want2race

    Want2race Fearless

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    no. I have been thinking about her a ton lately. I was tempted to call her and see if everythings ok but I'm not there mentally yet. I need to know I what I want first. I want her back but I dont think I could handle what happened again
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Yay! So glad you ended things. This is far better for you. Stay strong and don't talk to her.
     
  7. Want2race

    Want2race Fearless

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    her friend sent me some pictures from Spring break. Made me feel miserable :(
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Wow, what a bitch. The hardest thing is not allowing yourself to ask about her, listen about her, look at pictures of her, you get what I'm saying?
     
  9. Want2race

    Want2race Fearless

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    ye.. i think ill get over her much better when I get a new routine. Hopefully a job or something will come up soon and Ill have less time to think about her and meet new people... hopefully soon
     
  10. Exiled

    Exiled New Member

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    What a fucking cunt.
     
  11. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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  12. Want2race

    Want2race Fearless

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    Update.. I saw her the otherday when I went to hang out with her boss. (Me and him and good buddies)

    I took her some candy for her daughter, said hi, asked how she was doing and left it at that. Smiled and left her alone..

    As much as you think that would have devistated me.. I feel pretty good. Now is time to move on!
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :h5: man
     
  14. Want2race

    Want2race Fearless

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    and after a long weekend of being around a ton of women.. I want her back.. FUUUUCK

    I guess we just got along really well. Its just depressing seeing a ton of what i dont like and knowing i had someone I really loved.
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    It'll never be the same man. Keep reminding yourself of that.
     
  16. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    I want to add something to #4: If it hurts, that means it was worth doing back when it felt good, so there's no sense regretting it.

    I also want to add a new one: A bad ending doesn't invalidate good memories; if you were happy before, you were still happy before, even if it sucks now, so be glad you had the chance to be happy at all.
     
  17. Redbeard

    Redbeard OT Supporter

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    having a kid wont fix your life.
     
  18. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Want to bet? If you're feeling aimless, like your life is going nowhere, having a kid that you have to pay for, take care of, raise to be a good person, and eventually give your inheritance to can save you from years of despair. Because there really isn't anything to live for if you don't have someone to pass it on to when you're dead, unless you're totally absorbed with your own entertainment.

    Now, if you're the sort of person who has a job where you can make lots of people's lives better, like someone who is working to cure cancer or invent warp drive or something like that, then you can still have a legacy without having children, but very very few people have a job that satisfying.
     
  19. Redbeard

    Redbeard OT Supporter

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    This is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo not true.
     
  20. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    What? The kid will come out so dysfunctional and dependent that it probably couldn't even eat, shit or dress itself without the nutjob parent present.
     
  21. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :ugh: Wow. No.
     
  22. Ivan

    Ivan New Member

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    When do you know you have fought too much?
     
  23. Want2race

    Want2race Fearless

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    depends on the person.
    If 10% of the time is spent fighting. for me thats too much
     
  24. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    What else is there, then?
     
  25. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Excellent counterpoint. Verily, I am vanquished.
     

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