Some people stay in love.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by JohnJohnJohnson, Apr 17, 2009.

  1. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Conventional wisdom holds that...

    - You will be conscious and happier after you die if you're a good person

    - Learning how to pick up girls will result in a fake personality that is bad for relationships

    - Promiscuous women are "slutty"

    All of the above is either false outright or highly problematic.

    Add to the above statements the following falsehood:

    - The initial excitement in a relationship is "infatuation," which eventually calms down and turns into "real love."

    Well, today I am vindicated on this last point.

    Scientists discover true love


    Of course, this demographic is the tiny, tiny minority of human beings. I'm just saying. They exist.
     
  2. giz

    giz Active Member

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    pretty thought provoking, thanks for the link jjj
     
  3. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Thanks for your feedback. I'm happy to have provoked thought. Wish somebody would do that for me. I am not a thinker anymore, so I need others to do the work for me. Now that's a thought.
     
  4. Alaya

    Alaya Active Member

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    that makes me happy for some reason :hsd: but incredibly sad at the same time since it's such a small percentage :rofl:
     
  5. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    of course it's a small percentage.

    people don't fuck around enough to create a decent enough probability of finding it. that is, of finding somebody so "chemically" compatible that they are eternally in a state of romance.

    add to that the fact that people for some reason think that sharing the same political views, taste in music, month born, etc., is somehow indicative of the connection they will have with a person after sex.

    i'm surprised anyone ever feels anything for anybody at that rate. :rofl:

    but then i see couples on the subway with the glow and i am happy.
     
  6. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    *ahem* do you NOT read my posts? :mamoru:
     
  7. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    read the article. Oh yeah, I'd heard that on one of those shows about how these people are actually falling in love over and over again throughout their relationship.

    I wonder if:

    a) their brains are wired differently from the general population

    b) they just actually found someone with whom they are a good fit

    c) a and b (eg. when two people who are perfectly compatible (b) and whose brains happen to be wired differently (a) get together, they result in being in love forever)
     
  8. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    ditto.
     
  9. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    :o

    good point.
     
  10. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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  11. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    INCteresting
     
  12. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    From the linked article:

    I feel that this is an important one for husbands/boyfriends/men. I see a lot of men in relationships where the woman falls out of love with them and the guy never saw it coming or never thought the relationship was in trouble. This usually comes from guys that get into routines in their lives and they are never changing their lives. Women need excitement in order to stay attracted to a man. Without excitement she will fall out of love with him.
     
  13. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    True. But some women need a lot more than others. I think part of finding a compatible gf is to figure out how much excitement you have in your life and find a woman who is cool with that.

    As I get older I'm getting kind of boring. I don't go out and party all the time like I used to. As such, I'm glad my gf isn't like that, either.

    It becomes an issue when a boring guy tries to date a party girl, and he tries to change himself in order to keep the woman's level of excitement where it needs to be. I've seen this happen a lot and it never works because the guy can't keep up his "look how exciting i am" image forever because that's not how he actually is.
     
  14. formul8

    formul8 New Member

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    Very true. Last GF and I were 10 years apart. She finished college and has become a clubbing party girl and is a totally different person than I knew even a year ago. Having been there done that and was never my thing anyways.

    She totally has that "I'm great, everyone loves me, I'm so crazy! I should have my own reality show!" mentality. (BTW, those were actual words from her)
     
  15. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    same here. but my husband and i are also realizing that what we used to find exciting in the beginning of our relationship has changed. in the beginning we would party all night, now its a rare thing for us to be awake past 11pm. but we are finding new things to do together that we both find exciting.

    i dont think there is anything wrong with people still partying my age, as long as their partner wants to do the same, i think they should be happen and enjoying themselves
     
  16. formul8

    formul8 New Member

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    I am 33 and still go out partying occasionally, but it gets old because it starts to feel stupid hanging with a bunch of people younger than I am who are just being stupid doing dumb young-people shit or people my age who are also just being stupid and not growing up.

    Older I get, the more out of place it feels.
     
  17. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    I think its because people are "falling in love" and getting married too young. If I remember the statistic correctly, the majority of people who get divorced are under 25. A large part of the could also be caused by what JJJ said about Learning how to pickup women and therefor creating a fake personality/relationship.

    There is the other part that I am noticing among my friends and acquaintances is that they just settle for what they have and they believe that having a fight a couple times a week is normal.
     
  18. formul8

    formul8 New Member

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    Nobody wants to work at a relationship anymore. Seems like everyone thinks it should just happen and be all Pollyanna-like with no effort, plus no give and all take.

    The infatuation part is easy, the relationship part is the tough one.
     
  19. TuopaT2008

    TuopaT2008 New Member

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    If you notice in the artice, they quote couples in their 50s and 60s who have been together 15-25 years...these couples met later in life when they had more life experience with which to make a better mate-choice.

    Article makes me fucking depressed though.
     
  20. formul8

    formul8 New Member

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    I noticed that. Most people have themselves pretty well sorted out by then. The 20's and now even 30's are still time to figure ones self out.
     
  21. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    If you want a relationship to last, don't rush it!
     
  22. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    How unattractive. (IMO)

    I know there are some people who would be super attracted to that, tho.
     
  23. formul8

    formul8 New Member

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    It is unnattractive. Her constant need for attention, validation and admiration got old. I refuse worship anyone. ;)

    She is a total narcissist.
     

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