Some lyrics I wrote

Discussion in 'Entertainment' started by Jadix, Mar 11, 2006.

  1. Jadix

    Jadix The Nice Guy

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    So many nights I've spent there
    High above the moon.
    Dont ask me why I went I
    Will never tell you.

    It was the need for more I
    Saw my mind was blind.
    Who cares what way you search if
    Peace is what you find?

    I used to lay awake with
    Tears filling my eyes.
    Waiting for better days to
    Come and change my life.

    Then one day I realized there's
    Nothing I can change.
    If all I do is hide then
    Everything's in vain.

    And another one about college girls:

    It was a cool friday night
    And I was feeling alright
    I was drinking keystone light
    When I saw her dressed in white
    So I went and said hello
    You remind me of the snow
    Your blue eyes have got me cold
    And at night I sleep alone

    She laughed, looked at me and said
    You should get used to it then
    Tonight you'll be there again
    Then she left with her boyfriend
    So I found my way back home
    Took a rip of white widow
    Layed my head on my pillow
    Then I fell asleep alone

    Then it was Saturday night
    Asked my homie for a light
    The weed makes me feel alright
    While I'm drinking nasty ice
    Then some girlie said hello
    Told me that I had to know
    She forgot her bud at home
    And she wanted to get stoned

    I laughed, and packed her a bowl
    Didn't worry me at all
    But before we got too far
    She was passed out in the hall
    So I found my way back home
    Took a rip of white widow
    Layed my head on my pillow
    And I fell asleep alone.
     
  2. the real banjo

    the real banjo OT Supporter

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    i read two lines...



    terrible
     
  3. MrInconsistant

    MrInconsistant New Member

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    i read that it was about college girls and just lost interest
     
  4. J

    J Active Member

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    i made pretty poems in 6th grade too :)
     
  5. Jadix

    Jadix The Nice Guy

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    Actually I think they're pretty good. You're just not interested in anything but trying to make someone else feel shitty. I bet none of you could write anything better. And if you do, i'll be the first to admit its better.
     
  6. Tehrod

    Tehrod New Member

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    by lyrics you meant poem right? and by trying to say poem you mean nothing right because you didn't follow a scheme?

    basically, you have nothing without music k thx bye.
     
  7. Jadix

    Jadix The Nice Guy

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    The scheme for the first one is:
    7 syllables with the last syllable being the first word of the next line
    5 syllables
    7
    5

    The scheme for Isla Vista Girls is just:
    7
    7
    7
    7

    Which works with my bassline. The chorus will probably be a little different.

    I do have a bass line written for each of the songs. The second verse of the first poem is the chorus, and I'm still working on a chorus for the second song. Heres the bass lines:

    Isla Vista Girls
    ----------------------------------
    ----------------------------------
    -0-0-0-0-3-3-5--0-0-3-3-5--3----
    ----------------------------------

    If peace is what you find-
    ----------------------------------
    ----------------------------------
    -0-5-3-0-6-5-3-0-0-5-3-0-3-5----
    ----------------------------------

    "k thx bye" - I hate when people say that. Fucking retarded.
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2006
  8. BlinginAssRims

    BlinginAssRims Now I'm blaumped out

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    speakingly subjectively, it struck me as trite.

    keep at it anyway dude.
     
  9. Jadix

    Jadix The Nice Guy

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    Ahh some input. Thanks. Both of the subjects seemed overused though? I can see how the second one would be so, but the first one I thought was an original idea.
     
  10. Jadix

    Jadix The Nice Guy

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    Added verse to the first one:

    So many nights I've spent there
    High above the moon.
    Dont ask me why I went I
    Will never tell you.

    It was the need for more I
    Saw my mind was blind.
    Who cares what way you search if
    Peace is what you find?

    I used to lay awake with
    Tears filling my eyes.
    Waiting for better days to
    Come and change my life.

    It was the need for more I
    Saw my mind was blind.
    Who cares what way you search if
    Peace is what you find?

    Then one day I realized there's
    Nothing I can change.
    If all I do is hide then
    Everything's in vain.

    It was the need for more I
    Saw my mind was blind.
    Who cares what way you search if
    Peace is what you find?

    Dont dwell on your regrets its
    All been said and done.
    Try never to forget this
    Life is just for fun.
     
  11. BlinginAssRims

    BlinginAssRims Now I'm blaumped out

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    its more the language that i felt was trite than the subject matter itself.
     
  12. Chipwich

    Chipwich Porno Mustache

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    it was pretty good, i'm not the biggest fan of writing in the first person, i tend to keep I out of song lyrics but put some nice music to that and you have a winner.
     
  13. H0|y 5h17

    H0|y 5h17 l3 L 0 W N

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  14. Jadix

    Jadix The Nice Guy

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    AH. Dont tell me that...
    I wish you could hear the music to it. Its really not emo.
     

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