SRS Some Body Image Questions for Ladies

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by LikeADay, Jun 27, 2007.

  1. LikeADay

    LikeADay New Member

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    It happens all the time. Someone bogs you down with a comment on your gained weight. A boyfriend tells you are not hot enough (and he is snubbing you!). The society, and the people around us are constantly influencing our body image.

    What situations/events have led to the lowering of your body image? In other words, what are the things that irritate make you look bad to yourself?

    I am most vulnerable to the following:

    1. Mom's comments on my weight, and body size. She is always comparing me to my thinner ("so beautiful") cousin, and other girls we know.

    2. Good looking actresses/models, and the appreciation they get from boys I know. OK, I try to resist that, but it just happens. Media is crowded with good-looking faces, and the jealousy factor is always there.

    How about you?
     
  2. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    Are you talking really overweight or OT fat like a size 6-8 :mamoru: I never met a girl that doesn't have some kind of body image issues even if they are rail thin
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    My adolescene was ridiculed with insecurity about my body. I was always a "bigger" girl, not fat at all, but I was 5'8 by the time I was 12 so that not only made me stand out, but I was no stick. I had been playing soccer since I was 4. I was a size 6 and when I look at pictures now I am amazed at how amazing my body was, I was all muscle! But of course at that time I was depressed as hell. My sister was 5'6 and petite. She would constantly call me fat to put me down and make me feel ugly compared to her. This is turn even made my mom sometimes suggest not to eat a dessert or what not.

    Anyways, I went off to college and gained weight (shock). Once my first year was over I was disgusted with myself and lost 30 pounds. Since then I've pretty much just realized that I don't give a fuck what others think of me. My sister is now bigger than me and apologizes for being insecure when we were younger and ruining my confidence. Now I love my body because I've realized I have never had trouble attracting men, and more importantly I feel my attitude and personality mean much more anyhow. Right now I am in the process of trying to lose 10 more pounds, but just for me! Just because I will be back at that size 6 and feel the healthiest at that point.

    Basically once I matured I realized there's a lot more to life than worrying what other people think about me, especially if it's simply over how I look.
     
  4. To be honest, I've never been that insecure about my body and my weight. I'm sure I was concerned with it when I was a teenager, but nothing more than what the average teenage girl seems to go through.

    I've accepted myself for who I am, and have learned to love it. The only thing that really bothers me right now are comments from complete strangers about how big I am (at 7 months pregnant). I'm perfectly happy with my belly, and I wish they would keep their comments to themselves. I always have a twinge of insecurity after that (and then I usually come to my senses).

    I couldn't agree more with Iwishyouwerebeer. There is so much more to life than worrying about what people think of me.
     
  5. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    I was also very thin and in shape in high school, and gained a few lbs here and there throughout college. I got a nice rack out of the deal..haha . I'm also trying to lose a little weight for the sake of feeling healthier, not for body image reasons or for anyone else. Confidence in my body image is there, I'm not saying it wouldn't be a little higher if I dropped a few pounds, but I definitely have it. I don't always feel 110% amazing about themselves - who seriously does everyday - but, I still attract attention from men in a positive manner. I guess until that ceases, I don't really have a reason to be unhappy with myself. There's so many other things in life that go on that should make a person feel good about themselves outside of physical appearance. People need to focus more upon these rather than picking themselves apart in the mirror.
     
  6. sxycdnbrat

    sxycdnbrat New Member

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    up until about 2 years ago i could eat what i wanted when i wanted and never put on any wieght, i looked great no matter what. when i was put on medication for depression and now for bipolar dosorder, i started gaining weight. my grandfather calls me fat all the time and it hurts a lot. im far from fat and i know it. i'm just not the stick i used to be. (also a LOT of my weight is muscle, i played a lot of sports in highschool)

    i couldn't care less what people who dont know me think of my weight, but when my family comments, it hurts the most. for the most part i'm qute healthy and if i have to hold onto a few extra pounds to keep my brain healthy too, then sobeit
     
  7. JustJeff

    JustJeff www.youtube.com/thisisjustjeff

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    The important part here is not what you look like, but how you feel. Do you feel healthy? Do you feel strong? If not, then you must be looking for a lifestyle change. Until then, continue what you are doing.

    Being healthy and strong is much more important than being as appealing as a model on T.V.
     
  8. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    Feeling healthy is one thing being healthy is another...someone 300lbs might feel fine that doesn't mean they shouldn't make a lifestyle change. Everyone should be in their average weight range not saying you need to be a stick or a hollywood model but there is no reason to be overweight, stay healthy for your own sake and for your family/friends we don't want to see you die before 50
     
  9. bigballofyarn

    bigballofyarn OT Supporter

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    I've always had a twisted self-perception. I've been a size zero/one my entire life and I think I'm chunky.

    Yes the media does force us to view images of "perfect people" but have you seen any of those sites with the before and after shots of celebs with and without their makeup? They look just as average as anyone. If we had 20 people working on our hair and face everyday, we'd look amazing too.
     
  10. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    The world is a fucked up place

    I'm overweight and I have been my whole life. I've never been skinny so I never see myself as being skinny no time in the near future.
    But I do for one feel healthy and frankly, that means more to me than looking like some model. I may be fat but I can get out there and run with the best of them and do whatever I want.

    But deep down I'm always wondering if people doubt me in any way because of the way I look. I try to shrug it off, but it always comes back.

    Oh well, that's life I suppose
     
  11. bigballofyarn

    bigballofyarn OT Supporter

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    spotsjunkie: Unfortunately people are judged a lot by their appearances. However beauty is only skin deep and attitudes/abilities tend to stick out more overall. For example if you were applying for a job, the person isn't looking for someone they are attracted to, they are looking for someone with the right personality and qualifications to represent their company. People may doubt you, but don't ever doubt yourself. If you know you are amazing in certain things, then keep doing them!
     
  12. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Two thing:

    1) How big are you? Weight issues seem to bother you, so just what is your height and weight?

    Do you actually have a slight weight issue, or is this a bdd issue, or simply a low self-esteem issue that hinges on weight as a trigger.



    2) your mom's comments are toxic, in a way, but if the root is low self-esteem, then you can directly help yourself on that issue.

    Then, comments like those from your mom, or anyone else, will just fall away like leaves on a windy day.


    People will forever say thoughtless things, although I do acknowledge those are particularly stinging when they come from someone supposedly in your corner, like your mom.

    However, its also true that from our loved ones usually come the most difficult comments. Family members aren't always supportive or loving, or even understand the harm they do.



    If it continues to bother you, you can try to TACTFULLY tell your mom that those comments are not welcome. You need to actually inform people of what you don't like. How else will they know.

    Yes, I know, as being a good person, they should realize when they're being an ass. But let's give them the benefit of the doubt.

    If they persist, tell them again.
    If they continue, ask them why since they've been told?



    After that, it's time for more direct action, but let's leave that topic until we actually get there.



    update on this when you get a chance.
     
  13. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    at your mom's house. be back later.
    Not that I'm glad that you have to experience that, but I glad I'm not the only one who does. :hs: Totally shitty, I know....

    I had a serious eating disorder for 10 years. It started when I was 13. I was 5'5, size 2 on average... 95 lbs at my lowest....

    I LOVE that my mom still talks about how "great " I looked back then. :squint: BTW, it's not like she didn't know about what I was doing- she took me to therapy, checked me into inpatient...

    I was home during Christmas and we went to Macy's cause I wanted to pick up some jeans. I picked out a pair and handed them to her to put in the basket she looks at me and says "These aren't going to fit on your fat body."

    Let me inform you- I am a size 8. I've only been in recovery for a little over a year . My doctor says I am at a healthy weight. I'm a little too boobielicious for my own taste, but I can't do anything about that.

    I dread going to visit my parents. I get so anxious about what she might say. Its impossible not to fall into old habits when I'm there.

    I've worked really hard to get healthy and she doesn't make it easy to say the least. :squint:

    Sorry. /rant.

    I feel ya, babe. Stay strong. :hsd:
     
  14. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    My mom drives me crazy when she tells me I'm fat ... I'm 5'3 and 98lbs! She says it usually when I sit and that stomach pudge appears (I think just about everyone has that...) but she's not just messing around.

    I think it stems from the fact that when she was my age, she was also ~100lbs (we are both the same height). Now she's twice that due to a thyroid problem. Her mother tells me that my mom is jealous of me, but telling me I'm a fatass bothers the hell out of me.
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Women do that, sadly your mother is so insecure that she has to feel better by nagging you. This is what my sister used to do just because she was ridiculously insecure about her own body.
     
  16. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    the only time size 8 is fat is when you ask anyone on OT or if you are really really short
     
  17. Darth_Kelly

    Darth_Kelly Morality is the herd-instinct in the individual.

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    Jealousy is awful in a mother. I've had pretty bad eating disorder problems since 7, mostly because of my mother's comments. A lot of it stems from jealousy, and they don't realize how terrible it is.
     
  18. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    at your mom's house. be back later.
    Moms suck sometimes. :squint:
     
  19. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    Thank you :hs:
     
  20. luxy

    luxy OT Supporter

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    Despite the fact that I'm never bigger than a size 4 in anything I still look at myself in the mirror and think I'm chunky. I want to lose weight but can't seem to get any lower than 115. I know I fall in the average/thin category but I still feel fat most of the time. My father (who's quite overweight himself) picks on me all the time, telling me I'm getting fat, and it really upsets me. Mostly though it's just seeing other girls around that are smaller/more attractive than I am, and wishing I had their bodies (jealousy is an ugly thing). However I've come to accept the fact that I'm never going to be rail thin like I used to be again, and life goes on.
     
  21. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    Wow, I'll tell you what, I would be so broken hearted if my mother nagged on my weight and body image. I don't think she's ever peeped a word of it, and for that, I am thankful. I'm sorry you girls have to deal with it..:hs:
     
  22. Omerta6

    Omerta6 New Member

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    My gf talks all the time about her mother being a trigger for her. How can moms say that after they know thier daughters have/are recovering from an ED are they that daft?
     
  23. EuroBella

    EuroBella New Member

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    My mother is overweight, so I've always been conscious of my appearance, but luckily I seem to have my dad's genes (I'm about 5'5, 118lbs). My boyfriend goes to the gym basically every day, and I go with him most of the time. He says that even if I gained weight, he'd still love me, and he tells me I'm beautiful all the time:) I guess that helps me with my fears of gaining weight. Besides, it's hard not to work out when you have someone who goes to the gym all the time. I'm satisfied with my body for the most part, but I always keep in mind what my genes might do when I'm older.
     
  24. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    He's not going to say he'll leave you, a few pounds is normal but most guys will not find their SO attractive anymore if she blows up to a whale, attraction is part of a relationship can't deny that. Diet and exercise will win out over bad genes just keep doing what you are doing.
     

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