SRS some advice would be great...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by RTMWTF, Mar 4, 2007.


    RTMWTF Guest

    my girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half, we practically live together (usually 7 days out of hte week) and have become very close. This is the first long term relationship that either of us have ever been in, and we are both becoming very attached to one another. The differences between us are enormous, we were raised very differently.

    I have lofty goals while she is satisfied cutting hair, or at least thinks she is. She doesn't have any ambition or drive, she is OK with what she's got, and I am the complete opposite...

    I've experienced people handle confrontations/arguments in two ways:
    1)defense/attack/say mean things
    2)promote and endorse a constructive solution

    My girlfriend will immediately become defensive (no matter how or when i approach the issue) and often times snap back and say cruel things (at random it seems). This is an issue for me as I was on the receiving end of verbal abuse through some of my childhood and it brings me back to not so happy moments in my life.

    I feel like I never talk to her openly because I never find comfort in doing so. There are times where I'm upset and just want to talk and want to talk to her so badly, but can't bring myself to do it.

    I have been very sick and have been diagnosed with a potential life-long condition that will cause pain off and on throughout my life. I am having a very difficult time emotionally dealing with this and I feel like my girlfriend would be more understanding... At this point in my life I need someone to literally take care of me (every once in a while, I need help with some things), not on a full time basis or anything close to that.

    I feel like shit because I am in near constant pain and I tend to get snappy/edgy. I don't mean to, and my intentions are good, but my girlfriend will never respond to this well. I feel that I need to be living in a very relaxed environment and right now things are very stressful with her around.

    Being that I am not in school (I can't), and I can't work, I feel like I'm too much of a pussy to break up with her. I don't want to be alone, I would have a more difficult time meeting people... Not only that, who wants to date a sick person? I have unfortunately put too much distance between myself and old friends while we have been dating.

    maybe someone has been through something similar and can offer some advice. thanks
  2. 7960

    7960 New Member

    Oct 17, 2004
    Likes Received:
    New England
    seems to belong here

    I hope your situation works out for the best
  3. Skeletor

    Skeletor Guest

    You already have your own answer... You need to talk to her and tell her these things, both about your illness and the fact that you don't appreciate her behavior when confronted. Things will work out for the best once you actually tell her, so overcome that fear and do it.

    What kind of condition to you have? If you don't want to say then by all means don't.

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