Social Circles and Vying for Attention

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by i dangled you, Jun 18, 2007.

  1. I'm writing this post in response to a question a friend asked me. I'll repharse his question to a statement: "I went out with this woman, she has no social life, and doesn't have any friends. I found this out during the date. Instant Turn-off. I left the date on a dead note, I wasn't interested and made it clear to her. Since the date she has called me 5 times in two days. The more she calls, the fact I had 0 interest to begin with, the more she makes me sick. I lost any interest I had to keep her as a friend."

    This is a statement from a guy, guys take notes. This guy goes out with a girl who has no life and that turns him off. The same is true about women related to guys. Having no social life makes you desperate for a woman's attention, or anyones for that matter. The more of a social circle you have, the less attention you care to have from a woman on a date. The same holds true for a woman, if you guys don't see it, a woman doesn't need a guys attention if she has a ton of guys vying for hers, or a lot of female friends who give her the attention she needs. This needs to be the same for a guy. Having a lot of guy friends gives you the attention you need, so when you go out with a woman you are not vying for her attention. She doesn't see you as desperate and then she becomes interested.

    Now back to that girl, most socially connected women if not all don't call a guy they went on a date with 5 times in the following 2 days. It is turning a guy off and this is in turn will do the same to a woman. This is a very important thing to watch, so when a guy has a small social circle, he will behave the same way that that woman is behaving with my friend. So guys, have a strong social circle of friends, so you are not lacking in attention at any moment.
     
  2. StopDrop&LOL

    StopDrop&LOL "Where The Elite Become Champions"

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    I agree. I dont have many friends and for this reason, i dont approach many women.
     
  3. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Although I agree with this, it works best if your circle has girls (preferably attractive ones) in it. That is the type of attention you want other attractive girls (you don't know) seeing you have.

    For example: Group of WoW playing, skinny, self-declared computer geeks (no offense meant to anyone reading this that may fall into this catagory). Let’s say their circle is 20 guys strong. Not one girl is going to give any of them a second glance just because they have a large close group. But if 5 of the people in that group are attractive girls it will definitely draw some attention.
     
  4. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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  5. StopDrop&LOL

    StopDrop&LOL "Where The Elite Become Champions"

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    :ugh2:
     
  6. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    i'm not going to deal with the pain in the ass of having too many friends just so i can attract stupid whores.
     
  7. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    true. although i'm more concerned with the activities thing because i'm bored, not because i want to attract women.
     
  8. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    yeah. actually here's a good example

    this girl wants me to go to a techno venue with her in ottawa, she's pretty hot, but i just wanna hang out and listen to techno and go on a minor road trip :dunno:
     
  9. I also agree with you, but from experience here, I'm telling people to have a life as viper said, do something. Anything at all, just don't sit at home and them be glad a last resort woman gave you some attention. :noes:
     
  10. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Well that is the biggest problem a lot of guys have. They just don't get out of the house, yet wonder why they aren't meeting anyone. It's not like interested girls just fall from the sky... although I guess you could go the route some in the Vag have taken - Stay in the house, and meet fat girls over the internet :noes:
     
  11. Hey, hey, my ex fell out of the sky, I think I did alright.

    Guys if you want to meet women, you need to get out. Otherwise you will be bitter for a long-ass time.
     
  12. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    This is where introverts have trouble. Extroverted people always have 11ty billion friends/acquaintances/whatever to hang out with. This is seen as attractive by chicks.

    I'm an introvert by nature but I've been forcing myself to go be more social recently. For example, Friday night I had sushi and went to a movie with a chick (former FWB), Saturday night I went out to dinner with a friend and then we went to a bar in Chicago with some friends and I practiced opening chicks (which I'm such a n00b at, I got blown out by ugly chicks, but that's another story :rofl: ), and Sunday I went to the beach and played frisbee and then walked around downtown w/ my friend and got some food, etc. Now, if I wasn't making a conscious attempt to be more social I probably wouldn't have done any of these things. I was pulling a George Costanza and doing the opposite of what I would normally do. It was kind of fun, but a lot of the time I kind of wished I was back at home doing something in my air conditioned house but I was like whatever :dunno:

    My ideal woman would be gorgeous and relatively introverted, which is a rare fucking combination (altho I dated one for 3.5 years). I really don't like going out and doing stuff. I do it cuz I have to, but I really don't, altho part of it I think is slight social anxiety and part of it is heat intolerance (I like doing stuff in the Fall and Winter). I hate feeling like I "have to do shit" in order to keep a woman's interest. Again, extroverts have no problems in this department because they love "doing shit."

    But whatever. Everything Beast said in the OP is 100% true.

    Since I did all that shit last weekend I now have stories to tell people when they say "what did you do last weekend?" My reply will increase my relatively coolness compared to if I said "I sat at my computer all day and surfed OT/researched stocks/looked at pr0n" because to most people, doing stuff > not doing stuff.
     
  13. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    details
     
  14. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    PMed in order to keep this thread on topic.
     
  15. You may have that luxury, but most men I see have 0 social life, they are glad to get attention from where ever it shows up.
     
  16. glass

    glass New Member

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    i think you could replace "having a social life" with "not needing attention". if that girl had a social life, he'd probably still turn your friend off if she called 5 times in the next 2 days.

    similarly, a person who has few friends but keeps himself busy (e.g. being a workaholic, getting his life together) can come across as focused, cool and collected (i.e. not needy), despite "lack of a social life".
     

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