SRS So, yeah, I am pretty much sick of life.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by BadRotation, Nov 6, 2005.

  1. BadRotation

    BadRotation New Member

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    I am pretty much sick of life, a whole bunch of things led up to me making this descision, but it really hit me tonight.

    First off, my family does not support me one bit. I have awesome grandparents, but besides them, nobody in my family even gives a shit about me. Hell, my parents tell me on a regular basis how they wish they never had me. The other day I came home from college after getting a perfect score on all of my midterms, I figured I would let them know since they might have been proud. Their exact words were 'fuck off, we dont give a shit about your college life'. This hasnt started recently, it has been going on as long as I can remember. They used to push so hard for me to get 4.0's in high school, but I ended up doing horrible, barely graduating. Now that I am in college, I am pulling a solid 3.9gpa.


    I just feel like life is slipping me by. I used to have quite a few friends, but they have all married and moved away, so I am no longer in touch with any of them. Basically I hang out by myself ALOT, since I have nobody to hang out with. I have never had a real girlfriend, sure, I have had a couple flings that lasted a couple months, but I have never had anyone I could actually say I loved. I always end up either fucking everything up, or finding myself disgusted witht he girl, since I dont like people that party/drink/smoke, etc. I find it extremely hard to find someone with the same interests as me, since I am not all about sex or partying like 99% of the people these days. The ones I do find say I am too nice to date. I am quite convinced that I will never find the right one, let alone get married and start a family.

    I was beginning to have confidence in my photography (one of the few things I actually liked doing), but after I posted some photos earlier that I thought were good, and every single person said sucked, I began to realise how bad I suck at photography. I think tomorrow I am gonna start selling off my $15,000 worth of equipment, and give the money to a charity or something.

    All my family ever does is call me a fatass, hell everytime I see my mother, she mumbles it under her breath, or makes snorting noises. Ill admit I am fat, I am 5'11" and 265lbs. Everything I have tried to lose weight has failed. I hike 7 miles every other day, and do lots of hard manual labor while I am out working on the railroad, yet I have not lost a single pound, even with just eating a few slices of bread, and some water each day, just to get me by.

    I am not a very social person, I am pretty damn shy, and when I do start talking to people/hanging out with them, they just walk all over me. I am the one that always sits alone to study at the college, and I find myself distanced from everyone. I am always paranoid about what people will think about me, so to avoid it, I tend to just stay away from people.

    Anyway, figured I would rant. I am off to bed.
     
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2005
  2. XsLiCk

    XsLiCk New Member

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    Man I know how you feel, sometimes i feel that no one actually gives a shit at all about anything i do, i had parents that pushed me as well when i was in highschool for a 4.0+gpa never got even close to it. I've also faced the fat ass side of me and basically developed an eating disorder. I ended up losing about 60 in about 2-3 months. My parents always fought with eachother and would always take out their anger on me kind of sucks in some sort of way. But i too thought that there would never be a girl for me. The thing is i was wrong and there is actually a someone for everyone whether you realize it or not. Its true that a majority of the people out in this world go out and get drunk all the time. That doesnt mean you cant go out as well and enjoy. Thats how you can possibly meet the person that is exactly for you. I met the girl that i've been dating for over 2 years now through a friend and she has changed my life. you will feel loved and everything completely opposite of what you feel now. Just keep your eyes open and keep going. Believe that nothing can stop or hurt you and i must emphsize that you should be open to everything. good luck to you though and keep updating yourself and how you feel.
     
  3. mds2004

    mds2004 OT Supporter

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    Life is a bitch huh. Funny, we work so hard and go through so much pain for what? I mean, we are all going to die some day anyway. What is the point of even trying? ya, I dont know where I am going with this. :hs:
     
  4. scaryice

    scaryice New Member

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    The point of trying is that you know that life can be better, or else you wouldn't feel bad. That's why you have to work hard so you can experience the best things in life, because if you never do that then what's the point of being alive? Of course things can get better, because tons of people have gone through the same thing and made their lives better.

    About your parents, just because someone is related to you doesn't mean you have to love them or even talk to them. And with parents like that, I wouldn't. They can only make you feel worse.

    As for being fat, you didn't become fat overnight, it was a long, gradual process. If you want to lose the weight, it also is a long, gradual process. It requires discipline and a positive attitude.
     
  5. insomnia

    insomnia New Member

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    Sorry to hear that man, must be tough of you. I seem somewhat the same about finding more mature women, I think they're tough to come by in our age bracket.

    As far as the photography goes, your pics aren't bad... you know everyone here takes perfect pictures all the time. :rolleyes: There are some train nuts around that like seeing pics, and I always keep an eye out on here and on the canon forum for yours :hs:

    If you do decide to sell off your stuff anyways send me a PM, I was about to buy a bunch of stuff this weekend anyways.
     
  6. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Yes your family doesn't love you but you need to learn to love yourself. You are your own judge so don't let anyone belittle you. When you lay down the first stone of a house people will tell you off and that what you did was nothing, however if you persevere and finish to build what you started people will be amazed once that house is completed. You know people can do everything with their mouth , and giving critisism is a very easy thing. Its not for nothing that the winners are winners for a reason in this life, its because they believe in themselves and love what they do. Life is like the current of a river, its always against you, you are like a salmon that has to go against the current to reach your goal up the mountain.

    Well and what your weight conserns people don't see the true beautifull person you are inside. They can't see the soul that is inside, they only see fat which they think is ugly and which therefore is the reason that you are unloved. And admittingly you have to be a very strong person to withstand that, because people judge on what they visually see. By now you must have noticed that :sad2: its a sad state of affairs but that is how superficial people are.

    But for me its rather more for health conserns then not accepting you for the way you are, you can get all kinds of heart and vasculair diseases ,and diabetes and in overal its hard to move around. My advice.

    Eat less, move more. I only eat once a day because simply you shouldn't eat more then your body needs, you can do without a lot of food that you eat is unnecessary. You need to re evaluate everything you eat and everything you do, not for other people but for yourself ok?
     
  7. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

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    Your family is dysfunctional, don't seek their affirmation, as you will never get it. You will need counseling at some point so as not to repeat their perverted behavior. You say that you are too nice to date, that will end when these girls turn 26+ and they want a well adjusted husband. Do some volunteer work on campus. (world hunger, etc.) There are a lot more girls then guys doing this and I imagine that you will meet some that will resonate with you.

    www.ginkworld.net
     
  8. M.O.B.

    M.O.B. New Member

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    Hey man being overweight doesn't mean nearly as much as you think .I am not trying to boast but I am 5'8" 150 lbs with a slight build and it has done absolutely didley shit for me relationship wise. The thing I lack is confidence and intelligence. I rarely/do not get past first dates with women, so I suck :(. I am 26 still living with the parents and lost a job a monkey has no problem doing so you have more to your life then me. Keep going to college and study, use your intelligence and in the end you'll be the one laughing at them.
     
  9. DaninTexas

    DaninTexas OT Supporter

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    DO NOT - I repeat - DO NOT sell your camera equipment.

    You enjoy it yes? Well I enjoyed playing drums - I loved it - but I sold my set and it is one of the biggest regrets of my life.

    DO NOT for the love of God sell your camera equipment. Keep at it and don't listen to a bunch of morons on a message board. um.... cept me maybe.

    If you love something you have to stick with it. Even if by some chance you are not good at it (which you are good at it BTW) Just stick with it.

    Your parents? I am really sorry you ended up with fucktards like that for parents. Bad parents are 90% of the problem in this country. Try to forget em. You said your grandparents are cool - Well call em up. Let them know that grades you got. Visit them. Talk with them. Talk to them if you can about your problems. I bet they will listen and be very glad that you open up to them. Basically strengthen the good relationships you have and leave the bad ones. If your parents are that bad then move on with out them. Gain success in your life with out them and they may come to respect you and try to change thier actions to be apart of your life. Till then - make them see what they are missing out. Stop looking to them for assertion or a validation for your actions.

    That is my 2 cents. I hope it helps. Just please please please - DO NOT SELL THE CAMERAS!!! Stick with it.
     
  10. luckyirishman51

    luckyirishman51 New Member

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    :werd: man. Passions is what we live for, in my opinion. I havent quite found a passion but it seems like you have, stick with it bro.

    I have never been over weight so I dont know what its like, but I used to be a scrawny little kid, in my early days of HS. When I got a car, I worked out every other day, and finally I saw results. And I hate to say it, but most girls these days are shallow, so they noticed it too. Its a fact of today's society. Hope fully you'll find the right friends or girl in general that dont care about your weight?

    Are you genetically overweight? Or did you have a bad childhood diet?
     
  11. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Thirded. Keep at the photography. Don't put any stock in what OT says. You can post pictures of a supermodel and all you'll hear is how she sucks. It sounds like your family is useless too. One of the most liberating things I ever did was to tell mine where to stick it, and never talk to them again. Most of them just don't exist to me now, and my outlook on life has improved dramatically.

    You're stuck on approval. That's bad. You can never really be happy when your happiness depends on someone else. People are just plain unreliable. Problem is, it's not easy to get over that.

    And with the weight thing, are you sure you're exercising well? Or does it just seem like it? Get a solid half hour of exercise a day (that means plan an hour for the gym or running or whatever). Keep your heart rate above 140 for at least 30 minutes, warm up and cool down times are additional. It will also help your brain chemistry (even if you don't have a serious imbalance, it will help regulate it at better levels).
     

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