So when a girl tells you...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by spydur86, Nov 8, 2008.

  1. spydur86

    spydur86 New Member

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    That she really likes you, but is afraid of being committed to you because she feels it could last a long time and she's not ready for something like that, how do you take that? I do give her respect for being honest in telling me that if we were together right now she'd probably end up cheating on me, though. If it matters, I've known this girl for about 6 years, just started talking to her again after 2 years in the past month or so. And if anything needs clarification that's not a problem, I just didn't feel like typing up a novel.

    EDIT: Guess I should add that she's currently torn between me and another guy, although she readily admits that said other guy probably isn't a good idea.
    I know, I know, low interest, move on... but I feel like as long as she's being honest and upfront with me, and as long as I still have fun and go out with other girls for the time being, giving her a little time to get her shit together can't be all bad.
     
  2. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    Polite shutdown imo :dunno:

    before I grew a pair I was told "I don't want to get committed to you because you might leave the country." I now realise that was just a polite blowoff meaning I don't want to see you but at the time I was all wow and stuff.

    If she was actually into you she would have just said yes and work out the details later.
     
  3. Suffocation

    Suffocation Guest

    Not that interested.
     
  4. spydur86

    spydur86 New Member

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    Yeah, the whole thing just kind of threw me off because I wasn't even the one that brought up anything about a relationship with her, we've just been hanging out having fun and one day she tells me "You have terrible timing." So I asked her to clarify and what I said earlier was basically what it came down to.

    And I know it bothers her about the other girls that I'm casually dating because she's been prodding me about them lately.

    I guess I'm really looking for a woman's input on this, would you ever bring that up out of the blue with a guy you were hanging out with yet had no interest in?
     
  5. Suffocation

    Suffocation Guest

    Just read this and your edited first post, if I were you distance yourself but don't remove yourself from her. It'll get her away from the other guy, probably. She's into him.
     
  6. Toxica

    Toxica New Member

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    Well if she's not ready then you really can't force it. Unfortunately, you'll just have to move on. Maybe some day down the road she will be ready for a commitment.

    That or... she's just not that into you and is using that as an excuse in order to not hurt your feelings, since you two have known each other for so long.

    It's best to just keep moving forward and focus your time on another girl who is willing to be committed to you.
     
  7. spydur86

    spydur86 New Member

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    Yeah, that's pretty much what I decided, but it's hard to look at the situation with an unbiased view, figured I'd get some outside opinions on the matter.

    And yeah, Toxica I told her I wasn't going to pressure her into anything, but on the same token I wasn't going to wait around for her either.
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    She's just not that into you :dunno:

    Move on, for your own sake.
     
  9. spydur86

    spydur86 New Member

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    Heh, maybe I'm just biased because this girl was my first kiss, although we never really went anywhere after that because I started dating her friend shortly after. I guess that's what I get for living in a small town.
     
  10. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :hs: Sorry man. Small town or not, long history or not, when a girl says how great you are followed by they don't want anything serious it really just comes down to you're not the one she wants to commit to :dunno:
     
  11. spydur86

    spydur86 New Member

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    Yeah, I think I'm going to take Toxica's advice and just distance myself from her as much as possible, even though she lives about a half mile away... lol. Guess we'll see what happens later down the road but right now it's probably doing more harm than good.
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Excellent idea. In fact, the best advice. You can't be friends with her when you feel this way and it will only sting worse to be around her knowing you aren't can wont be together.
     
  13. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    complete and utter BS. If you truly found someone you knew you could be with long term and be happy, why would you NOT be with them?

    Like others have said, it's a nice way of saying "I don't want to be with you".

    Treat it as such.
     
  14. spydur86

    spydur86 New Member

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    That's what I was thinking too, I just didn't get why she'd even bother bringing it up at all if that was how she felt. It's not like I initiated the "relationship" speech. Why can't women just be rational, for once? Lol.
     
  15. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    letting you down easy
     
  16. spydur86

    spydur86 New Member

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    Heh, let me reiterate. I should've just asked this to begin with, but why on earth does she feel the need to let me down when she's the one that's been initiating us making out, etc. because I didn't even want to get myself into this situation with her because I knew she was into the other guy. She's pretty much brought everything up. Do women get off on leading guys on just so they can think they're calling the shots? Nevermind, I guess I answered the question myself. Sense: women make none.
     
  17. Hahawhat?

    Hahawhat? New Member

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    Im not expert but I'm pretty sure she won't admit it that she likes BOTH of you and wants to she which one she likes better before she makes and decision on who she wants to date. She may very well like you but I'm pretty sure she likes the other guy too and wants to she which one she fits best with.
     
  18. spydur86

    spydur86 New Member

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    She did admit that she liked both of us, although I feel that putting too much weight into that is just setting myself up to board the fail train. For now, just going to enjoy life and see what happens. She knows where I stand, if she is, in fact, into me. I told her I wasn't waiting around for her to get her shit together, but if it works out it works out.
     
  19. Hahawhat?

    Hahawhat? New Member

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    I'm not saying its a horrblle thing but thats just how the situation looks from my perspective and if its true all it means is that she is trying to find out what will make her the happiest so you can't really blame her. Just have fun see where it takes you, hope it works out
     
  20. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    As everyone else said, low interest.

    Girls who have a high interest level in you would never let you get away.
     
  21. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    She's just told you she's a cheater. Therefore you don't want anything to do with her.

    I didn't see that at first.

    Dude that alone is reason to move on. You want a chick to be 100% interested in you, and you alone. None of this "hmm, this guy or that guy" bullshit.
     
  22. marvd00d

    marvd00d Gonzalez>Swine Flu

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    run now web of lies
     
  23. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    People say this to others for their own sake (to reiterate to themselves) more often than for their partner's sake
     
  24. PresidentJames

    PresidentJames New Member

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    ask me later.
    probably your typical teenage slut (except she might be older than that, but yeah, your typical "lie to self about my promiscuity" slut)
     
  25. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Please do explain further and with more detail about how on earth that makes sense.
     

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