LGBT So what was your first same-sex relationship like?

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by Taylor, Feb 24, 2004.

  1. Taylor

    Taylor Guest

    I noticed several people here had heterosexual relationships prior to coming out or dating the same sex. I'm wondering what others' experiences with their first gay relationship were as compared to their other relationships. Here's mine:

    I only had one girlfriend, but this was no accident. I refer to it as my "last-ditch" attempt at heterosexuality. While she was more than a friend to me, I never felt the way I thought I would feel in a relationship. I broke it off and 6 months later came out.

    I had never tried to meet any gay people before coming out. Thus I never had the experiences that some have, having relationships before coming out. Thus, I was sort of prevented from meeting or dating anyone until that point. When I got involved with my first (and only) boyfriend, I finally found what I had been missing. Unfortunately, this empty feeling I had for my adolescent life from not having a relationship had snowballed, and I found myself euphoric at the fact that I was happy and finally in a relationship with a man. Things finally felt right to me, and it was such a great feeling. I quickly fell in love and ended up being so naive that I got really hurt in the end. I really feel that my reaction was because it was something I that I had been waiting for, for such a long time, that once I had it I really just in a sense lost touch with reality.

    I'm over him now, and I certainly am grateful for what I learned from that relationship... but it was really a terrible time in my life in the period after it ended. That naturally comes with all serious relationships, I know, but I feel like it was worse for me because I had wanted for so long to be able to be in that type of relationship.

    Anyway... just something I've been thinking about recently. Others' experiences?
     
  2. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    ...and then you met me... Talk about queer overload...
    :wavey:
    ...great times!
     
  3. Taylor

    Taylor Guest

    If that isn't the understatement of the century, I don't know what is. :mamoru:
     
  4. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    :rofl:
    ...cute...
    ....true....

    ~ I can't argue with it ~
     
  5. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    absolute fucking hell. I was with a guy that wanted to pull me out of my closet before I was ready to tip-toe out. Not to mention he was a pompous self-centered son of a bitch.

    no...I'm not bitter. :big grin:
     
  6. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    My first real gay relationship was... emotional.

    I thought I was in love. He was in it for the sex.
    It lasted four months before I ended it because I was compromising myself.

    It was hot, though... He ended up being a good friend, but a horrible boyfriend.

    And I believe I had perma-grin for an entire month. I felt like my life really began on my first real gay date. I consider that night the moment when my life truly started.
     
  7. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    :rofl:

    Wow... color you angry...
     
  8. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    I ran into him at the Front-Runner last time I was up there and I was like:squint:






    :rofl:
     
  9. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    :mamoru:, but I can relate...
     
  10. Taylor

    Taylor Guest

    Yeah! That's sort of how I felt, too.
     
  11. RedGoober4Life

    RedGoober4Life New Member

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    Bwah. It was boring. Lasted for a few months but there was no connection whatsoever and I noticed I was trying to make the person seem interesting even though he acted like he was 40 at age 16. And no, there was no sex and I'm happy about that. I'm all for maturity, but when you skip parts of you life that should be fun it gets scary. We're still friends though. :)
     
  12. bri1042

    bri1042 New Member

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    Hehehehe...my first relationship was a bit bizarre. Nothing quite like a pair of foolish 12 year olds trying to be boyfriends. We would walk for miles to get to this wooded area in the town I grew up in that few people ever went to. We went all this way not for anything sexual...just to sit hold hands or kiss a little bit. We were so terrified anyone would see us. At the time, we thought we would get killed or thrown in jail if anyone caught us holding hands.

    He moved away after only about six months and I didn't find another guy till college. That relationship was doomed from the start 'cause we really only liked being in bed together, nothing in common and he listened to <ack> country. Few things stranger than a gay college boy listening to country.
     
  13. Insey

    Insey I can feel my cunt contracting

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    I never had a real relationship where there was love :wtc: I am the only gay person in my city.
     
  14. DejaVooDoo

    DejaVooDoo *Jojo*

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    In a big city like Philly...I seriously doubt that. You just haven't found the gay community, yet.
     
  15. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    ...or they are hiding from ya, buddy. And I wonder why.................
     
  16. urnotmahtype

    urnotmahtype Guest

    me and my gf have been together for a year now, and this is my first same sex relationship. i thought it would be a lot different than my previous relationships with guys, but it really isn't. my gf pretty much has emotions like a guy, so i haven't really experienced anything new. the biggest obstacle that i've had to overcome in our relationship is accepting the fact that my mother will never accept my lifestyle. i'm trying to get over it though. this has been the best relationship that i've ever been in. i dunno if it's because she's a girl or if it's because she's the coolest person i know. what i do know is that i wanna be with her for the rest of my life. hopefully this will be my first and only.
     
  17. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    :crying: that was sooo sweet... :wtc:[​IMG]
     
  18. cedric

    cedric I don't have a contract

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    I'm with my first boyfriend right now. He's my first and I'm his, so we're kinda guiding each other through this. It hasn't been very long, and we're both still in the closet. We've agreed to try and take this slowly, because we're both experiencing a lot of things we've never felt before and we don't want to ruin it by doing something stupid where both of us are gonna get hurt. I'm away at college right now, and he's a senior in high school back home. While it sucks that we can't be together at the moment, it is beneficial in that we don't have to run around in secret, and risk getting caught. He can't come out until he leaves home, for family reasons, and I just don't think I could come out with out him. Right now, we're just enjoying what we have for what it is, and trying not to get too far ahead of ourselves (although it's been difficult).
     
  19. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    how close to home is your college? Better question, how much actual time can you devote to your relationship?
     
  20. cedric

    cedric I don't have a contract

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    Let's just say he's definitely not within driving distance. I'd have to fly home if I wanted to see him before summer gets here. The thing is that since coming out isn't exactly an option right now for either of us, we don't feel like we're depriving each other of finding something better. We realize that it's going to have to be a long distance relationship for now, and there isn't anything we can do about it. The best we can do is basically live our lives the same as we did before, but with the one added bonus of being there for each other in ways that only we can. It may sound naive, but we're both happy with it this way for now.

    oh, and about the time thing, I can't be sure of that yet. Like I said, we're trying not to plan too far ahead, and doing our best to keep this discreet.
     
    Last edited: May 10, 2004
  21. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    okay, I won't comment until I'm gotten some sleep; I'd hate to sound too harsh.
     
  22. bioyuki

    bioyuki Ich habe Angst

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    Never had a hetereosexual relationship, I really couldn't knowing I was gay :dunno:

    Never really had a homosexual relationship either :wtc:, did the hookup thing for a little bit but its stupid and dumb and I'm done with it. Therefore I'm on the prowl for my first boyfriend. Gay men in the Bay Area, lock your doors and close your shutters, bioyuki is loose and coming to town! :big grin:
     
  23. cedric

    cedric I don't have a contract

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    Thanks, I appreciate your being considerate. I realize i'm young and inexperienced with these sorts of relationships, but I just wanted to share my experience thus far. I'm not out to defend what I'm doing, because even I'm not 100% sure. I just know that it feels right for now and that's all that really matters to either of us.
     
  24. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    In some ways, I can understand where you're coming from. Long distance relationships are never easy.

    I was in one for one year, until I moved to DC because I got a job transfer, and he is living here. We were together for 4 years but unfortunately, he ended it 8 months ago which I'm still having a bitch of time dealing with.

    Anyway, that first year of the long distance part of the relationship was extremely tough. I was going through a career change, and he was finishing up his Master's degree. I honestly think that what held us together that year was the love that developed between the two of us. That love was tested many times, and there it really came down to the point that I debated staying where I was and he wasn't sure he could continue doing the long distance thing if that was to happen.

    As for the planning of time, etc....don't try and live your relationship day to day. That is no way to conduct a healthy relationship regardless of whether or not it's long distance.

    It sounds to me like this relationship between you two is still in its infancy stage. Your both in school and have your studies to deal with, but that doesn't mean you can't make some time....future time....future plans for yourselves.

    Always remember, future plans...future goals are good to have and good to reflect on every now and then. It helps us put things into perspective when we least expect it, and sometimes, most need it.

    Anyway....I'm just rambling now. It's been a really rough weekend for me, and I'm starting to lose the focus of this thread.
     
  25. boiwunder

    boiwunder New Member

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    I had been dating a girl that I have known since forever and still love, just not in the way that a boyfriend does. In the early protion of my senior year I finally stopped running from the fact that I knew I was gay and started to date a guy from a neighboring high school, all while still dating my "girlfriend" at my school. This went on until the end of senior year, when prom came around I was one un-happy camper because both proms were on the same night. I ended up going with the girl to prom which was a horrible decision; not only was the guy unhappy but I was unhappy which brought the whole group we went with down. Long story short I sat the girl down a week later and I told her, she cried and then told me that she knew I was gay long before this, but was trying to hold on to me as long as possible. I dated the guy for another 9 months until we broke up, and I am still friends with both of them.
     

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