So what changes . . .?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by [DWI], Feb 1, 2007.

  1. [DWI]

    [DWI] Master of Nothing

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    Recently me and my girl have been talking about living together. Anyways, everyone always says that everything changes when you live together, but they never give examples. I know being around each other all the time can add new stresses and expose each other to things that about the other that you haven't seen all that much. So from the vag's experience what are some of the things that change?

    and are there any tips from you guys to making the living together work? or even just an easier transition?
     
  2. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Know your boundaries. Just because you are living together doesn't mean you have to be together or doing something together 24/7. Have personal spaces in the house (for example I have a sewing room for my special room and my husband had a music room for his).
    Yes, everything changes. You will see things about her you never imagined and never wanted to see and vice versa. Good luck!
     
  3. Xtreme2k2

    Xtreme2k2 GTI Crew ಠ_ಠ OT Supporter

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    Like her pooping :eek4:





    Wait, I forgot, girls dont poop.
     
  4. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    We don't fart, puke, poop, burp, bleed or anything ;)
     
  5. Lateralus

    Lateralus New Member

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    How much things will change is going to depend on both of you, as far as advice I would say keep doing what you normally do. Meaning don't spend every waking moment with each other, go out with your friends or family on a regular basis or do things that will get you out of the house/apartment. Now that you both live together you will tend to see each other on a more frequent basis, so you need to give each other a little more personal time. Another big one for me was setting ground rules, and expectations that you expect to be met. As far as both of you doing equal amounts of cleaning, cooking etc. When I first moved in with my ex I was a little shocked to find out that she was more of a pig than I was, not physically but just how she kept things clean and presentable if we had company over. More often than not she would just leave dishes and/or clothes just lying around anywhere, and I would end up cleaning up after her because I hated having the apartment looking trashed all the time.
     
  6. ArthurPewty

    ArthurPewty New Member

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    Like others have said, maintaining boundaries is one of the big tasks so that you don't become too absorbed by each other's lives and can maintain some individuality, remember you were originally attracted to an individual, so it's important to maintain some of that independence. The other big task is that you will now have two relationships with your girlfriend. You will still be her boyfriend, but now you will also be her roommate. It may help to see it that way so that "roommate issues" don't become "boyfriend/girlfriend issues". Forgetting to leave the seat down or picking up after the other person does not equal a loss of interest in a romantic relationship.



    Then why can't I have sex with my girlfriend for six days every month?!
     
  7. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    My advice would be:

    DON'T DO IT!!!

    I moved in with a GF once, I'll never do it again. It's not that I didn't like it, or it didn't have it's good times and perks, but overall, I think if I was just dating someone, I'd still want to live seperatly.

    As far as changes go, literally EVERYTHING changes, other than the obvious, where you go home to, and where things will be placed, the relationship changes on a level that can't really be described, yeah some of it becomes more intimate in a good way, some in a bad way, like has been said, you'll discover things about each other in both good and bad ways.

    If one of you has a bad day, the other will basically have to deal with it, you can't say "Well I'll leave you a lone and go home", because well you ARE home, and sometimes just going to your "sanctuary" will not be enough.

    Financials seem to become a HUGE issue, I've heard that one from a few people. There's always some bill that has to be paid, groceries that need to be bought, etc.

    The next woman I live with will either be my wife, or someone who is STRICTLY a room mate, with NO romantic attraction whatsoever, but I don't plan to ever really have a room mate again.

    Oh, yeah the sex usually becomes less frequent.
     
  8. guiltybystand3r

    guiltybystand3r On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for e

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    I agree with everything above except finances. Never really became a problem with me and my ex. Biggest problem I encounter was not having my own space and own time. We shared a one bedroom appartment, so when I came home I never really had time to myself. This ultimately led to end of the relationship.
     
  9. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    Also note the trend that is happening here....

    It seems that all of us so far in this thread that have "moved in" with our SOs, have ultimatly ended up breaking off the relationship. ;)
     
  10. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Better than getting married first, THEN moving in, and then getting a divorce.
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Yep, that's why people need to take moving in more seriously. I wouldn't do it unless I thought it was serious, i.e. headed for marriage. The one good thing about it is it shows you if you were meant to be, if it was then you'd work it out.

    Plus, I have a lot of "secret single behavior," those things that you like to do only when you were alone and not sure if you want your SO to know, lol. I'm pretty independent and need my space; so as long as that was established I'd be fine I think
     
  12. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    That's the thing though, it seems that most people that move intogether without the marriage, break up more frequenlly or commonly than if they had been married first.

    The mentality of "seeing if this is right" seems to be the cornerstone of the failed relationship.

    As said, if it the moving in together was taken on a more serious note, treating it like marriage and not just "living together", maybe it would result in a long term relationship, as in marriage, maybe. It seems that in todays society, we are taught that if it doesn't work, it's not our fault, but the other person's fault and that you can always find someone better. :roll: gag me with a Spork. :roll:

    I think the only way I would move in with someone, is if the wedding was less than a few months off, but then, it would have to be because of extrainous circumstances, because, hey, I could probably survive another few months before sharing accomidations, since I've gone that long. ;)
     
  13. guiltybystand3r

    guiltybystand3r On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for e

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    Note to self, install hidden cameras next she's at work :p
     
  14. ArthurPewty

    ArthurPewty New Member

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    I really dislike the fatalism of the "meant to be" attitude, but I do believe that your view of the future of the relationship is key. Regarding what Carpet Liquor said, I had a lot of hesitancies before moving in with the one woman that I've lived with, but thought they would work themselves out. Unfortunately, I came to discover that problems are passive, people are active and therefore people need to do the working. I think if you and your significant other feel ready about moving in and have seriously looked at a lot of the issues and aren't looking at this like a "trial run" but something serious, then you will be more likely to have the will to persevere and really tackle the serious issues that arise.
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Oh yeah! I mean I would never move in with anyone unless I knew it was for good. A "trial run" is ridiculous, its almost like saying "well....I'm not sure if we'll work out....maybe living together will fix our problems."

    Its just my opinion but I think any couple who is very serious about their future should live together first. Good relationships have a lot of compromise, and I think living together is the ultimate example of learning to compromise with eachother. Also, since you tend to learn a LOT about that person once you are finally around them all the time, it's much better to find these traits before the marriage....in case they end up ruining your relationship; at least you would have time to get out, as opposed to divorcing if you strictly moved in after being wed.
     
  16. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    :squint: That is one of the most contradictory posts I've ever read.

    How is that not a "trial run"?
     
  17. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    My thoughts exactly.


    You should definitely live together before getting married. Two people should be able to live together and still have that good relationship... not compromise all the time just for the sake of making things work. But what the hell do I know, I've never done it.
     
  18. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I was saying imo a "trial run" is a bad idea if you know its a trial run. I was saying how I thinking living together before marriage is a good idea as opposed to after marriage because if there ARE things that ruin the relationship at least its beforehand.

    And like I said, its just my opinion, so no need for anyone to get bent out of shape.
     
  19. guiltybystand3r

    guiltybystand3r On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for e

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    She was saying that approaching it as a "trial run" will doom it from the beginning, but it is still a good idea to live with somebody before you get married. This is because if it doesnt work out living together, you've at least caught it before marriage. This is where you are directed to national census data: divorce rates
     
  20. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Statistically speaking, people who live together before marriage have a higher divorce rate.
     
  21. razi

    razi New Member

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    finances are a big pain in the ass, and the stress from work and such gets immediately dumped on the person you're living with. Personal space can become an issue too. Lots of little things you don't think about until you're put together like that. You might find out she nags about household chores (or conversely that she's a grade A slob).

    as always, the key is communication. I'd suggest setting aside one day a week, like sunday, to have a "relax" day where you don't bother with other stuff and just enjoy the company of your SO. A day to go to the park and such.
     
  22. guiltybystand3r

    guiltybystand3r On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for e

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    Where are you quoting your stats from Wikipedia's 3 entries on it? :hsugh:
     
  23. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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  24. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I keep hearing that. I wonder what the sample populations used were.
     
  25. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    in the end, it doesnt matter. stats have no play in how you, and one other person interact.


    that being said, i have nothing positive to say in regards to living together.
     

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