So, we're basically broken up.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by ApathyOnSunday, May 3, 2006.

  1. ApathyOnSunday

    ApathyOnSunday OT's Resident Undertaker.

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    It's a matter of time. My GF is going into the military, no telling what state or even country she'll be in. Hell, she'll probably be in Iraq. My brother was there and got a bullet to the face. :sadwavey:

    She says "if it was gonna work out here, it will work out when I'm gone." I don't fully believe that. I think you could take a couple that is very in love, one that would last and split them up for 4 years and let them only see each other once every couple of months and human nature will set it and split them up. What am I gonna do? I don't have many friends anymore because it's just me and her, we spend everyday together. When she goes I'll just be sitting here alone.. That's no life to live. I love her alot but I can't go with her, there's no way so I'm stuck here.
     
  2. skitcy

    skitcy uhm title! ok

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    and this forum is for sympathy? It looks as if you already made your choice.
     
  3. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Military families have worked for years...some of the strongest families (including mine throughout the past) are military families. It sounds like you are doing her a favor though...you are obviously too emotionally weak for the life she will be living anyways.

    I really hope your not looking for sympathy as it seems you are though. You sound like you are ready to go curl up in a ball and cry.
     
  4. Guardfather

    Guardfather The Paradox

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    So writing to each other to nuture your bond won't be enough?

    If you two have something incredibly special, it can work out. If not, this probably will break you.
     
  5. low20

    low20 Member

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    break up dude....go out and make some freakin friends and have a fun....sounds like ur a young guy, make the best of your life, dont sit around feeling sorry for yourself. she ovbviously wants something more than hanging out with you everyday so hows that make you feel? leave and dont look back, find friends, find a new chick, keep ur friends and have fun.
     
  6. ApathyOnSunday

    ApathyOnSunday OT's Resident Undertaker.

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    Yeah but you're probably talking husbands and wives that actually live together. My brother is in the military so I know how it is, he's not married but if he was it would be easy cause his wife would just live with him regardless of where he was stationed at. But we're not married and I can't leave here so it's basically just phone calls and the occasional visit. Do you truly 100% believe that you and your SO would survive 4 years apart? Only talking on the phone and maybe seeing each other for a week each year?
     
  7. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    it wouldnt work for me.

    I do not want or choose to enter into any long distance relationships.

    Then again, I do not believe there is only one person out there for you... so it would not bother me as much.
     
  8. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    I truly believe that because we are married...and if i would have had to spend time apart before we were married then it would have sucked, but she was the one and I knew that :dunno:

    You apparently dont see this girl as the one, so i agree that there is no reason to make a LDR work. :hs:
     
  9. ApathyOnSunday

    ApathyOnSunday OT's Resident Undertaker.

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    Same here, I'd never do a LDR, BUT we've been together for two years, I had no idea she was gonna do this. We were talking and she said she was. It floored me, I've felt like shit every since, I've replayed that "Where'd you go" song by Fort Minor over and over.. :wtc:
     
  10. ApathyOnSunday

    ApathyOnSunday OT's Resident Undertaker.

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    I really do think she is the one and I know she feels the same. But it will be so hard to not see her and not be able to hold her and just sit around all day with nothing to do except pray that I'm working (normally reversed)...

    I mean we're like best friends, we don't have a typical relationship, even though we piss each other off sometimes, everyone tells us we seems to be made for each other because we're so alike. But in another sense, I don't know what else is out there. Like her, I went though that phase of a dating a different person every week so I've never been in a serious relationship except once when I was 18 and what I felt then is nothing as to how I feel now. It's weird.
     
  11. notsousual

    notsousual New Member

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    If you want to make it work, you can. If you are committed, you can. You sound like you are trying to find excuses and ways it won't work. It's worked before, for MANY people...in and out of marriages. It has also NOT worked for many people. It doesn't sound like this relationship is worth it to you, because if it was you'd throw yourself at this problem and conquer it. If she was the one, and you loved her enough to make anything work...you could. It just doesn't sound like you do. That said, I dont think it's going to work after she leaves, you lack the desire, drive and determination to stay committed to her it sounds like.
     
  12. swenjj

    swenjj New Member

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    if she didnt even talk to you about this before doing it i wouldnt plan on trying to make it work now, does she just want to leave? not much communication here if you didnt even know she was leaving
     
  13. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    If I thought she was the one, sure I could make it work. But then I'm not someone who'd give up all their friends for a girl... That was a stupid thing to do, in my opinion you should always have some life outside of each other and definately keep hanging out with friends. Otherwise you could end up in your position now...

    You need to get involved in life outside of her, take up a hobby, make some new friends/get your old friends back and figure out if you can make this work or not.
     
  14. ApathyOnSunday

    ApathyOnSunday OT's Resident Undertaker.

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    Well the thing with the friend was all kind of mutual, everyone is in serious relationships and buying houses or renting together so they've all gotten into that lifestyle which is that of most adults.. We do hang out with one couple pretty often and split up with them sometimes but that's really about it. I never hung out with many people, I was too busy working. She was very popular in HS but ditched most of her friends when she met me and grew up, because they are 99% bad news. I didn't try to change her or any of that bullshit, but she tells me all the time that I saved her life. She had a hard up-bringing with her family that are just fucked up (worries me she'll act like her mom) and went the wrong way for a while, but I'm so different than that and my family is so close and different.

    But it just upsets me that in the blink of an eye all my plans are smashed. I mean she talked about it a while ago then said she wasn't gonna go because she changed her mind (I said nothing to sway her) well she was still living at home and was gonna go to college while living at home, but her mom just got too much for her to handle so she moved in with me in my house and now she's going away for who knows how many years!
    :sadwavey: :sadwavey:
     
  15. noola

    noola New Member

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    Im in a long distance relationship at 20 years old - we both go to different colleges and basically;

    If you want it to work it will.


    /thread
     
  16. PukeyCute

    PukeyCute New Member

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    Quoting this because you seem to have ignored it in favor of a reply you could play the "pity me!" game with.
     

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