So we finally broke up...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by CaliAtenza, Aug 16, 2009.

  1. CaliAtenza

    CaliAtenza New Member

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    Most of the regulars here know my story (i think so) but just for those who dont: I was in a relationship for 2 years with a girl that i met here in india (i go to medical school out here). She is also in med school, at the same college, but junior to me by a year academically. Both of us are born and raised americans, but decided to come out here. Anyways, back in jan/feb we decided to take a break and ive posted about that on here in a earlier thread. We got back together on the condition that there would be no commitment and we would just date and have fun and stuff. This continued untill about 2 months ago, when things pretty much came to a head and were going to end. But, we decided to just be with each other to support each other during exams and stuff. She also said she still wanted to be with me, that she enjoys spending time with me, etc, etc. Anyways, we both go home and the fact that we didnt really talk to each other or even make an effort (i did, she didnt) to see each other shud have told me something.

    So, last thur rolls around (i was on vacation back home in the states) , and it comes out finally; that her parents dont "approve of me", she cant be in a relationship with someone she doesnt feel comfortable anymore, the relationship isnt going anywhere, etc, etc. Mind u this was all over the internet, through a chat on fb. I was supremely pissed off. I told her that at least lets come back to india, sit down, meet face to face and then decide. But she was like, "no this has been bugging me so i want to do it now".

    I came back to india last weekend. I end up seeing her at college a few days later. She never told me when she was leaving, getting back from home, et all. Face to Face, again..the same thing comes out ("im not gonna repeat what i said, i cant do this anymore, this is not going anywhere, etc, etc"). On the phone, she finally said..."I need to move on". She left me no choice, i had to break up with her. I still kinda wanted to be with her becasue of the way she made me feel. She was my biggest support system out here..for 2 years she got me through the toughest part of med school, and i did the same for her. Its really hard for me to take because now she isnt in my life, she isnt home when i come home....Ive had trouble making good friends out here cause a lot of em are socially retarted, but she was a really good companion, even at the low points, i still liked having her around. I know she's young (21) and im a bit older, but still..it was good times :)

    What hurts is how she did it :(...i mean, i put a roof over her head, gave her a place to stay, took care of her when she was sick, gave her a warm bed to sleep in; all of this cause her roomate treated her like crap. I told her how much i did for her and she's like.."yes i appreciate it, but i cant continue to be in a relationship with someone just because of what they have done for me". WTF, isnt that what half a relationship is about????

    I dunno what to do, how do i get over her? she was such a big part of my life...im at a loss right now. I cant see much else through the pain and hurt..the lonliness sucks... :(. I have a lot of mutual friends with her and already one of em is acting weird with me. People take sides...im sure they will take hers cause they've known her longer.
     
  2. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    You're an American in India. You can go to any slum and take home the hottest chick there. So why stay obsessed over this one plain jane who won't do shit for you while expecting the world, unlike a traditional Indian girl? It's time you get out there and play the field a bit.
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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  4. CaliAtenza

    CaliAtenza New Member

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    lol (im of indian origin, so yeah), yeah i guess you're right. its been 2 years though that i've been outta the pool, gotta get back in.
     
  5. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    no

    in modern western culture, relationships are about whether or not you feel love.
     
  6. CaliAtenza

    CaliAtenza New Member

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    yeah that too, but im thinking about more along the lines of love being the other half. Or am i wrong on this part..??
     
  7. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    you mean, you're thinking that the feeling of love is half-defined by the services and goods rendered to a person?

    if that's what you mean then yes, you're wrong. love is a feeling. it's not a receipt of transaction.

    the fact that you loved her enough to give her a place to stay does not obligate her to reciprocate those feelings.

    that wouldn't even make sense. how can someone choose to reciprocate love? it's more or less involuntary.
     
  8. MossMan813

    MossMan813 New Member

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    You're wanting to hang on to her because of how SHE makes YOU feel, not once in your post did you mention about how she feels. You're being very greedy and needy. I don't blame her for dropping your ass, honestly. Yes, you may have done some stuff for her, but that's what people do in a relationship - it's not a reason to make someone feel guilty for falling out of love with you. Get over yourself, and do some self-helping before you even start to look for a new girl.
     

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