SRS So this girl decides to sit next to me

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Swedish Boost, Jan 10, 2007.

  1. Swedish Boost

    Swedish Boost New Member

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    I don't know if this belongs in Vaginarium or here but anyways...

    I was eating lunch today at the dining center and sitting at the bar area with plenty of empty chairs on both sides of me. So this cute girl sits down right beside when there were plenty of empty spots. Just my type with curly brown hair and with very straight and defined facial lines. I spent the whole time thinking of something to say but I never did before she walked off. She could of sat there for eternity and I would of said nothing. That is all.
     
  2. Lateralus

    Lateralus New Member

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    Way to drop the ball when she practically handed it to you.
     
  3. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    Well, if you had've said something, either you would have wound up getting her number/making plans to meet up again, or she would've brushed you off.

    Since you said nothing, you'll never know. Of course, you never try, you never fail, so you're insulated from rejection. It's up to you if you want to risk rejection next time.
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    No action = no reaction.

    Or in other words, with all things in life you have to invest effort if you want to get something done. What rewards has being shy ever gave you? Zero, so trash it, and initiate your life.
     
  5. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    1. Say "Hi."
    2. Wait for her reply.
    3. Say "Is that the best pickup line you can think of?" Laugh, smile.
    4. Wait for her witty reply.
    5. Say "I was just kidding, actually that was the best pickup line I have heard all day."
    6. Wait for her witty reply.
    7. Start talking about where she learned to be such a good pick up artist, joke with her when she replies. Go for about 3-5 minutes.
    8. Tell her (do not ASK) ... tell her to give you her number. Something like "Well, if you can assure me that you don't have a warrant out for your arrest, you need to give me your phone number. Here, write it on this napkin."
    9. Say thanks, wrap up, tell her you'll call her (but don't say when!), and leave on a high note.

    Practice makes perfect. :big grin:
     
  6. KRISHNAX

    KRISHNAX Active Member

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    That pick up line BS is terrible man
     
  7. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    :dunno: I wouldn't use any lines, I'd just strike up a conversation, and if we really hit it off, invite her out to dinner/coffe afterwards
     
  8. Swedish Boost

    Swedish Boost New Member

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    Yeah, I know I blew it. I knew I blew it a minute after she sat down. That makes me so pissed at myself. Part of me wants to break out of this shell but, another stronger part of me wants just stay where I'm at. I only have like 10 posts in 2 years. I get anxiety from just posting on this message board or any forum for that matter.

    I know what I should of done. I have read all of your advice over and over again. I just had to post my frustation because the ball has never been thrown directly at me. In fact this is the first time anyone had thrown me the ball. Thank you for listening.
     
  9. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    Howd you blow it the first minute? Often being able to wait a short time (15-30 secs) is a good way to start.

    With regards to the anxiety, try to remember that everything you can imagine is worse than what could happen. You'll feel better if you just do it. Try to not think so much about it, and just talk to the person. Once you're engaged, the anxiety usually goes away
     
  10. Anticipate

    Anticipate New Member

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    swedish, how old are you?
     
  11. Swedish Boost

    Swedish Boost New Member

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    21, do I sound like an adolescent? Lol, I'm in college.
     
  12. Anticipate

    Anticipate New Member

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    A little bit, but 21 isn't that old- and all is fine while you're still in college. I'm 25, if you do that at my age, it's much worse, trust me.
     
  13. Swedish Boost

    Swedish Boost New Member

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    Great, I have a lot to look forward to. Fuck me.
     
  14. Reign

    Reign Banned

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    You know... you could just like talk to her like she's a normal person and like... get to know her? I heard that works.

    The best way to get a girl is to not even try. SEE IF SHE'S COOL AND YOU ACTUALLY LIKE HANGING OUT!!! OMG! WHAT A CONCEPT!

    If she sits next to you, and you're both eating. Try this on for size!

    Hi, how you doing?
     
  15. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    if you expect to fail before you even try, you will fail. Self-fulfilling prophecy and all.

    I suggest practice. Go to a bar, and work on striking up conversations with women you dont care about. That way whether they respond or not, it doesnt matter, since you werent interested anyways.
     
  16. Swedish Boost

    Swedish Boost New Member

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    I know what works but refuse to do anything. I take full responsibility for what happened, I just needed some place to vent my frustation. In my world there are no normal people. I take a long time to warm up to anyone. Even then I am described as "stoic".
     
  17. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    Whats the problem? Do you not trust others? Do you have expectations of how they will act with regards to you?
     
  18. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    Don't be afraid of us friend, we're all friendly here. No judgments :)

    And you don't have to be afraid of yourself either- you CAN strike up a conversation with someone you don't know and not be worried about what you'll say next or how you'll be perceived. Some people are naturally more shy, and that's okay. But don't feel obligated to continue to feel shy and anxious just because it's how you've been in the past.

    So you didn't talk to her when she sat down next to you... so what? Don't be so hard on yourself. :) Maybe try this: Think about what you'd want to say to her if you saw her again. Then go back to the dining hall at about the same time as you did that day and see if she's there. Maybe try to talk to her again.

    If you don't find her, that's okay. Now that you've had this experience you can be more prepared for the next girl that sits next to you at the bar.

    I know this is all easier said than done, but give it a try. The worst the girl could do is give you the brush off (and that's nothing that a bowl of ice cream can't fix.) ;)

    Good Luck!!
     
  19. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    Honestly, at this point in time, putting a lot of hope on 'running into her' again is a bad idea. It puts a lot more pressure on the moment when it does finally happen again (if it ever does).

    I stand by my advice on practicing on random people.
     
  20. johan

    johan Active Member

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    So how many hours would you stand at the free throw line trying to perfect your shot?

    And so if you never practiced, would you expect to be able to sink an offhanded throw while running?

    So why beat yourself up just because you were ill prepared, and ill practiced the first time a chance to shoot presented itself?


    I recommend starting to open up your "game" a bit, and start chatting up random girls, esp. ones where you have no particular interest. Those are gimmies.
    It's natural to freeze up a bit when you're green, and a real hottie flashes a dazzling smile at you, seemingly out of nowhere.


    So practice during the off hours. You'll be ready when you suddenly turn around and someone whips the ball at your head.

    Practice. Talking to girls is like anything else. Practice. Esp. for you shy ones. Get out there.
     
  21. Swedish Boost

    Swedish Boost New Member

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    I was burned severly by a group of friends 5 years ago but, I don't think that is part of the problem. I didn't open up to them then and I don't think I could open up to anyone, ever. However, most of the time, I just don't have anything to say/contribute. How is there suppose to be a relationship when there is no communication?

    I beat myself up, because it just adds my long list of missed opportunities. I would of been content with myself for the short term if this had never happened.
     
  22. MrMakaveli

    MrMakaveli Loyal to the game

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    [​IMG]

    "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take"

    ouch
     
  23. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    This is where the term 'small talk' comes into play. Most conversations dont begin where either person has anything significant to say, its just 'hey, hows it going, what are you up to, nice weather today, etc'
     
  24. Swedish Boost

    Swedish Boost New Member

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    I wish I could plant a listening device on the "pros" so that I may use their conversations in the future. Any small talk I create is mundane. God, I hate being an introvert.
     
  25. johan

    johan Active Member

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    This is why you practice. You seem fearful and regret the encounter took place. Furthermore you seem fearful even of practicing.

    It's not really going to get better until you practice.

    The listening device is useless because you can't simply reuse conversation, it's not applicable to the moment. Further, it's unnecessary.

    Simply rewatching footage of Jordan isn't going to help YOU, as opposed to simply starting out slow and shooting a few easy baskets on your own time, at your own pace.

    Start off with girls you have absolutely no interest in. If you just grabbed your balls, steeled up some courage, you'd realize that it really isn't that hard.

    Don't hide behind the label 'introvert', even introverts can achieve mightily with some courage.

    And there's nothing wrong with being an introvert, but it doesn't mean you have to miss out on life. And clearly this is causing you a lot of anguish...so gird up your loins and get out there.
     

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