SRS so they say i cant have kids...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by DesignerAddic71, Jun 29, 2006.

  1. DesignerAddic71

    DesignerAddic71 RIP Luther Vandross 1951-2005

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    the doctor i had been seeing for the past few years mentioned to me time and time again that i most likely cant have kids...she sent me to all kinds of specialists and they agreed. i just moved a few months ago, and i thought i would give a new doctor a try to see what they had to say...and she told met the same thing.....granted im not trying to start a family right now, i'm only 21, i still feel like ive been robbed of something :wtc:
     
  2. ElectricJW

    ElectricJW We are all ONE!

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    Adopt a child, ftw(if you can't have a baby).
     
  3. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    Not the same as having a child though...

    I have been having the feeling of going to my doctor too and asking if they can check to see if I can have kids.

    Anyone know what the procedure for that is?? I am a male, btw.
     
  4. bigballofyarn

    bigballofyarn OT Supporter

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    Is it that you're infertile? or just can't carry one? Is it possible to have someone else carry it for you? (Take your egg, and the guy's sperm and have another lady carry it for you)

    I'm asking that because I can technically get pregnant. I just can't deliver the child. I also have a medical condition that worsens through hormonal changes. The changes that occur during pregnancy would probably kill me.
     
  5. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    I'm in the same boat as you :hug:

    I've wanted kids ever since I could remember.

    My doctor has told me that in a couple years, I will be infertile and will not be able to have children due to scarring of my ovaries from PCOS.

    He actually said that if I wanted to have children, I should think about it now:hs:
    but there's no way in hell I can have biological children right now.

    I mean, I have my bad days where I just sit and cry because it's possible that I will never produce a piece of me :wtc:

    but then again, I have my good days where all I can think about is adopting and giving a child love

    So far, I think I'm dealing with it well, and I hope that one day a miracle will happen and I will be able to produce offspring...for the most part, I just sit and wonder if I did have my own child, if she or he would look like me :hs:

    I hope the best for you and you will be in my thoughts
     
  6. DesignerAddic71

    DesignerAddic71 RIP Luther Vandross 1951-2005

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    I suffer from PCOS too....and they just put me on these horomones for some reason, and now im all emotional all the time....when normally i show no emotion (my sweetie actually calls me his little robot)....its jsut so frustrating.
     
  7. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    ahh

    Last year I had to have surgery to remove a grapefruit sized cyst from my right ovary and two baseball sized cysts on my left ovary. The docs saw that the ovaries were scarred, but decided to leave them in just in case I wanted to have children soon and if I had a chance of getting pregnant

    they told me all the options of medication, but I opted against it b/c of some of the side effects, etc.
     
  8. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Isn't it possible in such PCOS situations to extract the fertile eggs, and put them into storage? I know its possible for sperm, but i haven't heard much about female egg preservation/extraction processes, in which another woman could carry the baby for you.
     
  9. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    She could carry the baby herself. The ovaries might not be working but her uterus probably is. IVF might be a viable option for both her and the OP, depending on the nature of their respective conditions. :dunno:
     
  10. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    yes, it's possible.

    but in some cases when the eggs are extracted, the eggs may be poorly developed (immature)
     
  11. copperkali

    copperkali Mrs. Nicklk

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    I was told 3 times by different doctors that I wouldn't be able to have kids. So after I was told that for the 3rd time, me and my boyfriend of 3 years started to get careless. Needless to say, two months later i was pregnant. :dunno:
     
  12. darnit

    darnit New Member

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    best advice in the world!!
    I am really sorry that you want child from your lions.I know its a female thing , and I accept that.. But I just dont agree with it.
    My wife has a child from a previous(lives with us) I have one from a previous(doesnt live with us). But she wants one from our marriage. I tell her we already have 2 daughters and I am happy. She still wants another child though.
    She tells me its a women thing.
    So I would ask, why does a child of your own have to do with anything? Why must you have one? And if you have to have one, why does it have to be yours by birth. Not critsizing, just asking.
     
  13. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    i don't think it's just a female thing. I know plenty of men who want biological children and their wives would rather adopt :dunno:

    i think in you situation, your wife wants a child that's both a piece of her and a piece of you..I don't see anything wrong with it really
     
  14. lick wid nit wit

    lick wid nit wit Official OT Oracle

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    I am in the same boat. However, I am childfree so it's all good.

    I also feel that people who simply must have children of their own DNA when they are infertile are being extremely selfish when there are kids out there to be adpted. So what if the baby is not the same race as you?

    if I ever change my mind about kids, I will adopt a child not of my race. Personally, I don't care of the kid is not lily white like myself. If someone wants a child badly enough, I really don't think the DNA structure or blood type should matter.

    sorry, but that's the way I feel.
     
  15. DesignerAddic71

    DesignerAddic71 RIP Luther Vandross 1951-2005

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    for me its not about race (if it was, i would just adopt a puerto rican child and call it a day)....its about having a child of my own. and yes, that might be selfish, and yes i know there are kids out there who need good homes, and i will probably adopt in the future, but there is just something about having a child of my own that i cant seem to put to the side. i feel like not only is that opportunity being taken away from me, but its being taken away from whoever i end up marrying in the future.
     
  16. lick wid nit wit

    lick wid nit wit Official OT Oracle

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    I assure you, the person you marry, if he truly loves you, he will not CARE that you cannot bear his child and have to adopt. If he makes a big issue about "having to have a child of his seed", well, then, he is a dickhead and not worthy of your time.

    It's not a matter of whether you can havwe a child of your own DNA and carry it to term, it's a matter of how much love you can give that child and raise it to be a fine, upstanding, outstanding adult :)

    And any man who is worthy of your love will accept you just the way you are.
     
  17. fiestyshot

    fiestyshot New Member

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    I too have PCOS what meds did they put you on?? I have my next appt Aug 1st to see a new doctor cause I am tired of being told to take birth control pills to cover up the issue. I get extremely hormonal just from regular bc. I have taken the last year off from being on anything because I was on Yasmin and was so emotional that I started having anxiety attacks. Do you see an endocrine specialist or just a ob/gyn that specializes in PCOS??
     
  18. Apothis

    Apothis New Member

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    I've never been checked, but one of my greatest fears is that I won't be able to reproduce. My gf has two kids already from her ex-husband. That's fine, I like the kids. But ultimately, they're not mine and their dad and his family are very much in the picture. This will not do, not forever. I want "my own", something truely mine. Call it selfish if you want but I don't care. I will not consider adoptions, as we already have a big enough family, quite frankly. The only way I would have it get bigger is if it's my own. Period. It would break my heart if I couldn't have any, but I'd ultimately have to accept it, probably grow even closer to her existing kids, and hope their real dad falls on bullets someday. She "should" be plenty fertile. The two she has took almost no effort to make. The first was an accident and the second planned, but in either case, she had no problem getting knocked up (unless her ex is just super-manly or something, which I doubt).

    We have already been trying to get pregnant. We've been trying for probably six months now and no luck. It's starting to frustrate me really. Her fertility is probably no less than it was before, so the main difference is "him vs me". It would really piss me off to think he's more of a man than me, but evidence is starting to point in that direction.

    Plus, my parents had fertility problems. It took them 10 years to make me. I'm afraid the same will be true with me, assuming I ever even succeed. If I do have kids, I want to still be young enough for it to be worthwhile; I want to be more father-aged than grandpa-age. I can feel age-30 approaching a lot quicker than it used to be. I'd like to at least have my first kid existing or on the way by then. I know I'm still young and still have time, but not nearly as much as I used to when I was 19/20 and decided that I would want to have kids someday (ideally by 30ish) and it still seemed too far off to worry about.

    I don't know why I'm having so much more trouble knocking her up than her ex did, but I don't like this one bit. If it takes me 10 years to even get started, I'll be pushing 40 and, I'm sorry, I'm not cool with that.

    Starting purely from scratch, I'd have no problem resorting to adoption. But I'm already playing daddy for two kids who aren't even mine. The last thing I want is even more that also aren't mine. I do want more, but only if they're actually mine. Otherwise, wtf would be the point. I don't think this makes me a bad person or selfish. I just think I have a primal/instinctual desire to pass on my genes if at all possible, and there's nothing wrong with that.
     
  19. lick wid nit wit

    lick wid nit wit Official OT Oracle

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    I understand the "primal instinct" to pass on your genes, but if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. Maybe this is nature's way of telling you you weren't meant to have kids.
     
  20. DesignerAddic71

    DesignerAddic71 RIP Luther Vandross 1951-2005

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    :wtc:
     
  21. Would you consider the idea that your life can be transformed by such a handicap, Designer? Here is one discussion about this very issue that many people have learned basically ignore.

    http://buildfreedom.com/tl/tl05aa.shtml

    There are other superlative raisin debtors besides genetic continuance that would ease you out of your situation.

    No matter how turbulent your personal journey waxes, sail through it and see beyond it; there lies a shore along your path, assuming you can turn your thoughts into a slightly more northerly direction.
     
  22. VinylButterfly

    VinylButterfly In Utero

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    If you cant have kids because you arent producing sperm then thats something different. BUT if you ARE producing sperm then its still possible through things such as IVF.
     
  23. scholar

    scholar New Member

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    To start with I think they take your semen and put it under the microscope to count your sperm and how strongly they're swimming. About 5-10% of men are infertile.
     
  24. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    Millions of kids grow up without loving parents in this world.

    You're not hurting yourself by adopting or 'not handing down a piece of yourself' by adopting since that kid will develop your character, morals and beliefs.

    Adopting is 'different' in the sense that it's not coming from your cooter but it doesn't change the fact that you still would be able to raise a child as your own and watch him/her grow and experience.
     
  25. 98formyws6

    98formyws6 New Member

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    i don't see how wanting your own biological kids can be selfish in any way, the only reason life exsists is because our biology 'forces' humans to reproduce and have children, not go out and adopt (nothing wrong there, just another subject)
     

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