So the on-again/off-again is moving in...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Madigan, Feb 15, 2008.

  1. Madigan

    Madigan New Member

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    This weekend from the sound of things - could use some advice here.

    I'm thinking he was just dumped by the finacee (they were engaged for about a month). I met him a little more than a year ago online (yes, online, shut up) - after a couple of months he took off, wanting a fresh start.

    9 months later we got back in touch - after we'd both already hooked up with other people. Now another 4 months later, his engagement's off - I'm still with my bf and come this weekend (should he make it here) he's moving in (too late to turn back now)...

    So anybody been here before with any insight for me? Beyond the fact that I'm apparently a moron :squint:
     
  2. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    uh... so does your boyfriend know about any of this? or are you planning to just spring it on him when he comes to pick you up and another dude is sleeping in your bed?
     
  3. Madigan

    Madigan New Member

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    Told him tonight - and here's the fucked up thing - both started out as long distance things. The real deal is still a long distance deal for the most part
     
  4. SeeVinceRun

    SeeVinceRun Currently In Prison OT Supporter

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    So you are allowing someone whom you have feelings for to move in while you are in a relationship?

    This in no way will end well, and Im assuming that you know this. At the very least, you should have had more respect for your current BF. Dump him or do not allow this guy to move in. But at least do one.

    On another note, you need to re-evaluate what you are expecting, relationship wise, between a guy who recently got dumped by a fiancee and someone with a boyfriend.
     
  5. Madigan

    Madigan New Member

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    Yes, unfortunately. Never said I was proud of it.

    I do have respect for the current - hence why I told him absolutely everything about this tonight. No he wasn't happy, but he appreciates the honesty at least. Granted, I would've been pissed too had the roles been reversed, but at least he knows where he stands. Still ahead of any other.

    Why did I do this? It was my "friend's" only way to escape homelessness - at least so he says. Now I don't really know what to make of all this because he literally had 5 hours by the time I got online with him to figure something out
     
  6. SeeVinceRun

    SeeVinceRun Currently In Prison OT Supporter

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    You were had. He has parents, he has friends. You were and are his last hope before he became girl-less. I dont care what he said, he could have found someone to stay with that was more appropriate than a girl he knew a while ago whom (im assuming) mostly just talks to online.

    At any rate, you say you have respect for the current boyfriend, time to put up or shut up in that department. It makes him uneasy, it makes him angry, and im sure it also makes him feel like a giant tool. You can help, but whether or not you do is up to you.
     
  7. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Wow this is not set up for fail at all.
     
  8. toroweedeater1

    toroweedeater1 New Member

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    i thought this was a script to a soap opera cause you only hear about shit like this on one. Oh well, let the drama ensue. You let yourself be used at it might be at the expense of your current relationship.
     
  9. trixareforkids

    trixareforkids Taked baby. Meet at later bar, night or day someti

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    Wow. If I were this guy, I'd rather be homeless than live with you. Who knows how long it'd be til you kicked me out for yet another guy
     
  10. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    I'm seriously having trouble fathoming why you would let this guy move in with you. I have a feeling you're kind of insecure about yourself if both of your past relationships have been online and both started out long distance. I'm not knocking on your character because most of us have insecurities. It seems as though you're letting him take completely advantage of you. Are you charging him rent?
     
  11. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    WTF?

    What kind of bf lets a girl invite her ex to move in with them? That's crazy. Not to mention that you're taking in an ex because his engagement failed.

    Jesus christ, this is absolutely fucking crazy. Tell your ex to deal with his problems on his own.
     
  12. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    BTW, if i were able to, I would advise your bf to dump you.

    Yes, that's extremely harsh, but then again, you're the one who is letting a fucking EX BF who JUST GOT OF AN ENGAGEMENT, MOVE IN WITH YOU. And you AGREED TO THIS FIVE HOURS AFTER HEARING ABOUT IT FROM YOUR EX.

    It is completely completely unreasonable to expect someone let you move in with them at the drop of the hat.

    I can almost guarantee you're going to be dumped soon.
     
  13. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    abort now. disaster is imminent!

    he most likely will try to make a move on you one day. are you ready for that?
     
  14. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I just can't grasp today more than other how people can be so blatantly ignorant...
     
  15. SeeVinceRun

    SeeVinceRun Currently In Prison OT Supporter

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    Man, I tried to be nice and everything. I should have been a dick! Missed opportunity!
     
  16. Bad1le

    Bad1le New Member

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    wow, this is some jerry springer shit

    Do you live in a mobile home?
     
  17. sharper4

    sharper4 New Member

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    :stupid:
     
  18. maskednegator

    maskednegator Kosmonaut, best we've got...

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    please update us 2 months from now.
     
  19. enfiniti

    enfiniti How firm thy friendship ... OHIO!

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    LOL this is either a real bad troll attempt from a december 2007 or dudewait.jpg


    The sad thing is I know a girl who did the same thing. An ex from her high school days moved in with her and her fiance. Wont say it will happen to threadstarter but they fucked within a week. If you so much as look at / flirt with / eye fuck this ex, you bf will be out the door faster than you can blink. If he isnt, something is wrong with him
     
  20. fray

    fray New Member

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    .

    How about tell him that since thinking things over, you don't think it's a good idea for him to stay due to your current relationship? That's not really changing his situation any. He'd be out of his house then, and he'll be out now. Not your problem.

    If you're are doormat enough to let this happen, don't let him move in. Let him stay for a designated period (no greater than 2 weeks) while he gets his shit together and finds a place to live on his own. This means clothes and bath shit. Not his TV and computer and everything he's ever owned. There are a storage lockers for that shit. And then in two weeks, you make sure his ass is out the door, or you call the cops to make him leave your house.
     
  21. Madigan

    Madigan New Member

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    Wow... so many questions all at once - alright, here's the short version as it stands now.

    Yes, this is real - never said I was proud of being a drama queen - it just tends to follow me. Not saying I'm not to blame half of the time, but still.

    Anyway, from the sound of things he'll be out in a week - for which I am thankful simply because no, I don't want shit to get worse - though I'm sure in some ways it may anyway.

    As for charging him rent - better fucking believe it, I may be dumb enough to let him in here, but I'm not about to give him a completely free ride - in any sense.

    As for the bf - he didn't "let" me do anything - the situation came up and it happened - and he's dealing with it pretty well, considering. Now maybe some of you would have him dump me for this, but thankfully he's not that cruel - I wanted to help a "friend" - he gets that. After all it's not like I was in the right state of mind when the other guy told me his situation. The bf and I both agree that was likely the plan - but that's why this guy's out in a week
     
  22. toroweedeater1

    toroweedeater1 New Member

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    this is the last reply i will have to this

    (1) drama queen-half you fault-how about dropping half the drama in your life by not making it happen.

    (2) it would have came out better if you had discussed and came up with a maximum allowable time table (1 week) this before "oh he is moving in". The term "moving in" has a lot of interpretations.

    (3) Rent isn't going to make your situation "ok" or "better", If I was truly helping a friend, a week is such a short time and I was truly helping I wouldn't take any money from them.

    (4) It isn't the fact of "letting". People are calling you names because of your decision making. And I will tell you this situation will be brought up again at a latter time involving your decision making. You must either be prepared for that or just break up with your b/f if you are not cause you will be wasting time for both of you. Just watch the people court or jerry springer for a week and see how a situation like this is going to blow up and why people avoid it. This has nothing to be with being "cruel" but not putting up with a "drama queen" or having to evaluate everytime you make a choice and wonder if you though of your SO before that and he will question you. "why did you order cheese on that. Remember when you let your ex move in. That was a bad decision as well." A little extreme but its going to come.
     
  23. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    I would bet money that the guy who just got out of an engagement and is almost homeless is not going to just cheerily leave at the end of one week.
     
  24. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    Good luck getting him to leave in a week. :)
     
  25. fray

    fray New Member

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    . If you were unable to say no to him staying, you better really get yourself prepared to say shoot down all his charming excuses for why he can't leave.
     

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