SRS So the Ex I've Been Posting About Just IMed Me...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by killer4605, Sep 25, 2006.

  1. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    Haven't talked to her in like a month... ignore calls / emails... bitch finally decided to IM me tonight. Now I wish I didn't respond. I miss her all over again. BUT I DIDN'T FUCKING CAVE. :hsd:

    Did I do good OT?
     
  2. Los

    Los Active Member

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    Probably would've been better not to talk to her.
     
  3. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    probably... but i went for a drive and cleared my head. i'm fine now. don't give a shit about talking to her either. i think i did a good job not telling her that i miss her or any of that shit and sticking to my guns.
     
  4. art vandelay

    art vandelay OT Supporter

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    .

    If you don't want wounds to reopen, follow this man's words.
     
  5. johan

    johan Active Member

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    it's good enough
     
  6. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    besides not answering her IM, what would have been better (for future reference)?

    honestly at this point i don't know if i even want her back...
     
  7. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    so i shouldn't have been so cold (which shows i'm still hurt) ?

    i wasn't about to act like nothing happened and we were still friends... fuck that.

    btw, which of those 7 things did i fuck up? it's hard to pick things out in your own situation... i like how you tell it like it is.
     
  8. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Answering her im isn't a totally bad thing, the point is to present a consistent picture which shows that you are:

    1) in control of yourself
    2) leading a full and enjoyable life
    3) not particularly interested in her
    4) not hateful or spiteful at her....just...indifferent.
    5) pretty busy with your (awesome) life, and hey we should talk again
    6) not actually really talk to her because you're so busy
    7) not be petty or jealous or small-minded or jerk-like

    Now see, when written out, this might seem more complicated than it is. It isn't. You just convey a feeling and attitude to her.

    AND! if you're not actually these things, if you are still sorta into her, or pissed at her, or thinking about her, or angry with her....then you have to be an excellent actor to NOT convey that during your conversation with her.

    So if you're NOT an excellent actor (which you aren't)...well then...

    That's why ppl say generally to NOT talk to her for a while....it's just easier. Easier for you to let go. Easier for her to get a clear message. It just is.


    eventually when you truly no longer give a shit about talking to her.....THAT is when you're cleared to talk to her again.



    Think of it like a relationship egg timer. You dial it up to 30 mins. When it DINGS!, that's when you're free of her. It's slowly counting down now.....

    Every time you talk to her, you go over and push the dial back 5 mins.
    Why do that? LEAVE IT ALONE and just let it countdown. Go play basketball with your friends.
    It'll go DING before you realize it.
     
  9. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    hm. not sure how the hell my post ended up above yours...

    anyways, i already know that as far as i'm concerned, i'm not going to initiate any contact with her again. i was just curious to see what the fuck she wanted tonight. i don't really have any reason to talk to her again in the near future.

    i'm not 100% over her but i'm getting there... just need a little more time.
     
  10. johan

    johan Active Member

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    You're doing fine. Just stay strong, and try hard to develop your life. This time should be defined by what you do want, not by what you don't want.

    Actively do stuff that's fun and enjoyable and satisfying for you. Worry less about girls. Actually, that part takes care of itself when you have the rest of your life in order.
     
  11. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    Lol, this morning I was thinking about taking her off my facebook (got sick of seeing her pic)...

    Do you think that would be a good or bad idea right now? I don't want to come off as immature or anything, I just don't like seeing her pic when I log in and I don't see any point in being facebook friends if we aren't friends in real life.
     
  12. TheGetUpkid

    TheGetUpkid New Member

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    Its totally up to you. If you really cant stand the seeing her picture (and to also stop you from looking at her page) and if it upsets you that much then I say just delete her. She might see you as being "immature" but it doesnt really matter what she thinks. The only person that matters is you. I actually deleted my exs facebook and myspace....... but then just ended up adding her back a couple days later...:hs:
     
  13. Los

    Los Active Member

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    If I could marry this woman, I would. She speaks volumes in her short responses.
     
  14. Mugwump

    Mugwump Guest

    Bitches, man... bitches.
     
  15. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    Im pretty sure Johan's a guy
     
  16. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    I don't see how it would be immature to remove a person who's now out of your life from your facebook.
     

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