So that's what that feels like

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by JohnJohnJohnson, Aug 15, 2007.

  1. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I was shopping for an erotic novelty and decided upon candy underwear for guys.

    I brought it to the counter. The woman was black, around 38, overweight. She looked down at the candy underwear and looked up at me and looked down and looked up. She said, "I'll bite you."

    Thinking slowly on my feet, I lied and told her I had a girlfriend.

    "Hey-ay," she said. "So?"

    The conversation progressed along those lines with me tripling lies and the woman countering them aggressively. Really awkward.
     
  2. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    i've seen that in the stores. looks like a thong made of smarties, amirite?
     
  3. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    wait, you dont have a girlfriend? how recently did you break up?
     
  4. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    wow, i thought that people who shopped at those kinds of places were supposed to be as non-awkward as possible. that would definitely prevent me from going back to THAT store :ugh:
     
  5. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    My lover and I see a distinction that is very important to us between "boyfriend-girlfriend" and "two-people-in-love." It has to do with implicit contracts and roles. ("Bad boyfriend" semantically works, "bad person in love" does not... etc.) I would not want her to be my "girlfriend". But I am coming from a strange place :)
     
  6. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Usually they are! Maybe she was just a friend of the owner or something.
     
  7. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    I've been trying to get better about lieing in those situations, it's hard to just politely decline sometimes though.
     
  8. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    should have taken her up on her offer man. from what ive seen, fat sex is amazing v. family guy
     
  9. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    i agree, and i've always used the "i have a boyfriend" excuse (even when i was single) but if they keep pursuing the topic after that i wouldn't know what to say except ":hsugh: can i have my change now??"
     
  10. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Next time I'll just be gay.
     
  11. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    :rofl: never fails!
     
  12. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    :rofl: some guys think thats an invitation for a threesome. Fuckers.

    Things i have used

    married
    gay
    involved
    la atakelum inkilzeeya (I don't speak english)
    the most profound bitch shield you have ever seen

    I used to try being honest: listen, fattie, i'm going to do you a favor and reject you. But they seem to find that intriguing.
     
  13. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    ahhhh, i see. werd em up. as long as you're happy says i, doesnt matter what you call yourselves. rose by any other name, etc.

    which is why my girlfriend calls me an "abusive faggot-ass mutant" and i call her my "dirty douche-nossle dyke-fiend."

    i even drewd her this love letter
    [​IMG]
    :love:
     
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2007

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