FRK SO suddenly just doesn't seem interested in sex anymore?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Whalephat, Nov 15, 2005.

  1. Whalephat

    Whalephat Conservative Bastard

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    First post in FS, be gentle. ;)

    Second, I realize this might be somewhat more appropriate for the Vag but I don't want to suffer through the countless dumbass and typically juvenile replies that you find in that forum. You all tend to handle things much more maturely and matter of factly here.

    Third, it somewhat relates to the FS mentality anyway.

    That said, my fiance and I have hit a "dry spell" in the past two months where it seems like she just could give a shit less about sex until she's actually in the act. Once she's going, she seems to enjoy the hell out of it just like old times, but getting her started seems to take a lot more effort lately than it ever did before.

    The odd thing is, when we started dating she was a wildcat in bed. Really liked sex, liked being adventurous and told me she initially thought she was going to be a little too much for "straight laced" me. To her surprise, I wasn't as straight laced as she had me pegged for and that made our romps in bed even more mind numbingly awesome.

    We live together, commute together and are around each other nearly 24/7 on the weekends and such. So I know she's not cheating simply because there's no chance for her to do. That nixxes that idea right off the bat, thankfully.

    We're also very much in love, both dedicated to our relationship and both really looking forward to getting married in a few months. It just seems like all of a sudden the fire has fizzled. Which leads me to the reason I'm posting here in the first place...

    I'm sure other FS'ers have hit a dry spell at least once before. What did you do to get the intensity back? I'm looking for ideas here, folks. :hs:

    Thanks.
     
  2. IWRXIT

    IWRXIT OT Supporter

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    change up the routine. have her dress up. make her feel sexy.
    is she prego? make sure. how is her stress level at work?
    if all else fails just "happen" to be watching some porn next time she cooks dinner...
     
  3. rangerzx3

    rangerzx3 New Member

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    I am going through the same thing. After 1 year things slowly started to decline and now its like she could care less if she has it or not. The frustarting thing is I have seen the wild side of her and know how much fun she can be. I am hoping as she gets older she will get horny and fun again
     
  4. woodchuck

    woodchuck Member

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    You eat, sleep, and commute together.
    Perhaps you are stuck in routine...girls need to think they are worth breaking the routine. Take off work on a friday with her and take her to a bed and breakfast for the weekend. Tell her you need a change of pace. (Which is true cause your current pace includes no booty)

    Make it a suprise so she doesn't know where you are going, you know?

    Spice up things outside the bedroom and women usually spice up things inside.
     
  5. RockChick

    RockChick New Member

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    yeah it sounds like routine...

    I agree with everything that was said before... suprise her, do something she doesn't expect at all... plus, since you 2 are together almost 24/7, maybe you guys should take a weekend off each other.

    Like you go out with a few buddies, all day, all weekend... she can do something with her girl friends or whatever.
    Make sure you guys really just see each other at night, in bed and all that.

    :dunno:
     
  6. DarthKoRn

    DarthKoRn New Member

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    Routine. Change it now. Do different stuff. Go IDB. Let her come at you with a strap on. Play games. Introduce toys. Do anything. If it continues like this, no one is happy.
     
  7. low20

    low20 Member

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    same situation here....i felt like she could care less, or could go forever without it, while i was going nuts.....we talked about it a little and things have gotten better for a while now....other thinks we did was try to be less routine like mentioned above...we spend so much time together that things can get almost boring, so being sexual isnt really on the top of her mind i guess...try to change things up, be romantic outside of the bedroom as much as possible too, holding hands huging etc, and dont push the sex factor....things will get better, i think everyone has a dry spell every once an a while
     
  8. Craigtheman

    Craigtheman New Member

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    How much stress is she under due to the upcoming wedding? I have one very stressful month a year and I don't think I had sex during the entire time this year. Like everyone else has said it may have to due with the amount of time you spend together.

    If after the wedding she does not come around you may need to remind her of your previous sexual relationship. It can be difficult for a woman to get back into that state of mind after a initial slow down in sexual activity.

    Try talking to her about it. She may just need some more help in one area of her life, like planning a wedding. Let her know that you share her concerns and will be willing to help with anything that may be bothering her. Don't try to put the slow down on her or she may feel like she is getting attacked, you want her to enjoy sex not feel obligated to do it.
     
  9. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    You're spending too much time together. :hs:
     
  10. Cherryfire

    Cherryfire "If we believe obsurdities, we shall commit atroci

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    On a completely different note, is she by chance on birth control? I found my libido completely disapeared despite an outstanding sex life when i was on oral contraceptives. Studies now confirm that a lot of women experience a complete lack of interest in sex due to the use of bc's. Just a thought. She may want to talk to her gyno and switch to a different type.
     
  11. Whalephat

    Whalephat Conservative Bastard

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    Thanks for the replies, all. And yes... she recently started taking BC pills again and the first type really screwed her up. She switched to a different type a month ago and while she's been better, she's still not back to 100%. We were both wondering if that might be causing this. Guess we'll just see how things go in the next month or so as her body continues to adjust to the hormones that the BC pills carry.

    There's really not a whole lot of stress about the wedding right now, so that's probably not a factor. And I do agree that we're probably around each other a little too much at times. She needs to get away with some of her girlfriends soon and have a Saturday or whole weekend "off". I'll suggest that to her. :)

    Again, thanks. Sounds like it's a fairly common problem but one that we'll make it through just fine.
     
  12. Zak8022

    Zak8022 New Member

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    yea... cherryfire brings up a very good point. BC can really screw with women's sex drives. my ex was sorta like that... she never initiated sex.. it was always me... and rarely cared if we did, or did not, have sex.

    so now that i'm with my fiance, i really dont want her to go on BC. it works out cuz she cant go on BC cuz of some other medical reasons... so she will always be her randy self.:yum: :nx:
     
  13. Whalephat

    Whalephat Conservative Bastard

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    She called her doctor. Doctor said this was normal for the first month or two back on BC and that she'd be back to her usual self very soon. Thanks for the advice everyone.
     
  14. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    we hit a dry spell a few months back... he occupied himself with another means of satisfaction, emotionally cheated, blamed it on me and my lack of a sex drive.

    now we have sex like we used to when we first started dating... and the funny thing is... i haven't changed a thing...
     
  15. Whalephat

    Whalephat Conservative Bastard

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    Wow, sorry to hear about that. Having been married before and cheated on, I can firmly say that cheating fucking sucks. Not going down that road again! :hs:
     
  16. xela

    xela So say we all!

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    Funny how that works, isn't it.
     
  17. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    fucking hilarious.
     
  18. Lord Majere

    Lord Majere Kinky lil Devil, I am

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    This would be my guess....along with changing up the routine

    I know I stopped getting sex from my g/f when I got to involved in the computer game I play. Now that I am spending more time with her it takes next to nothing to get her ready for a fuck.

    I have been initiating some new kinky stuff too....

    She like when I ask her WHO's PUSSY IS IT? and she says hers....and I pound her even harder till she says "it's your's, all your's" as she cums.

    This is new and we both enjoy it.
     
  19. MIK3

    MIK3 New Member

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    i'm kind of in the same situation. my g/f is so stressed out about grad school our sex life has dwindled down to nothing. i mean, i can't be selfish and tell her to stop trying to get into grad school but getting kicked to the side lines by accident sure does suck.

    its been 3 weeks sinse some action :(
     

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