LGBT So... Should I or No?

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by blaq19, Aug 18, 2008.

  1. blaq19

    blaq19 New Member

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    I've been dating/talking to this guy who absolutely gorgeous and he's awesome as shit! We have a lot of the same interests and general living ideals and we just generally get along really well. We mesh!

    We are both very much physically attracted to each other but we haven't slept together just because we don't want it to make anything different or difficult on our friendship. He was hurt really bad in his past by an ex-lover and he's very open about it, so he doesn't want to rush into anything nor do I.

    Here's the catch. I am moving next month and really like this guy a lot. Yet, he says he's ready for a change as well. So should I tell him I want to take it to the next level and be exclusive and ask him to move with me to NY? Or do I just leave it as is and just be friends?

    I'm confused? I've never felt this way before and I don't particularly like it. :hs:
     
  2. Matitulo

    Matitulo If sexy never left then why is everybody on my shi

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    How long have you been dating?
     
  3. Sounds like you guys really get along and have real fun together which is my #1 requirement for a relationship...but yea...how long have you known each other and been dating? Do you see yourself with him still in more than a year?
     
  4. blaq19

    blaq19 New Member

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    Well I've known him for over a year, we've been hanging out I guess since April around that time...
     
  5. blaq19

    blaq19 New Member

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    I could def see myself with him a year from now.
     
  6. Might as well try then. :dunno: Never hurts to try. :)

    I haven't known my BF even that long but I know when we say goodbye I'm going to be really depressed. We get along so well and supplement each other's lifes so well. :( So I know how you're feeling...hope it works out.
     
  7. camarosrool

    camarosrool yes i am

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    Wirelessly posted via wap.offtopic.com (Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows 98; PalmSource/Palm-D060; Blazer/4.5) 16;320x320)

    if you are moving you really don't have much to lose by asking him. are you guys dating then? from the first post it sounded like u were just friends. that's a huge step to go from just friends to live in bf's...
     
  8. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    I think you should go to NY alone... but offer to let him come visit whenever he wants...

    Absence makes the heart grow fonder... and if you two are apart for a while, when he comes to visit, you both may be more willing to take it to that next level... That way, the relationship will grow more organic instead of growing too quickly because you're moving away.
     
  9. Priest Tango

    Priest Tango Custom User Tits

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    wait, youre moving to NY? :bowdown:
     
  10. philvia

    philvia SUCKIN ON MY TITTIES LIKE YOU WANTIN ME CALLIN ME

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    pretty soon everyone in this forum is gonna be in NY LOL
     
  11. blaq19

    blaq19 New Member

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    Well were friends but I mean we've kissed and like slept in the same bed and whatnot?
     
  12. blaq19

    blaq19 New Member

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    I like that idea.
     
  13. blaq19

    blaq19 New Member

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    :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown:
     
  14. blaq19

    blaq19 New Member

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    Damn straight! :)
     
  15. Diesel Freak

    Diesel Freak ♂♂ Closet Crew OT Supporter

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    :werd: Right on, Sam!
     
  16. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    I'd also recommend that you communicate your feelings to him before you leave... in a very casual way.

    I think you should say something like "Look, I don't know if we'll be just friends or if we could be more. And I don't know what your feelings are. But, I think you're fucking great! And hot! And I'm really interested in dating you. So, if you're interested too, come vist me in NY and lets see where this goes! And if you'd just like to be friends, that's cool too... but still come visit me in NY anyway and we'll hang out."

    You know, keep it light, but let him know that you'd like to explore a possible romantic thing.
     
  17. dude101

    dude101 New Member

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    Pmed :)
     
  18. Priest Tango

    Priest Tango Custom User Tits

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    shit!!! i cant PM :( someone send me my last avail PM :(
     
  19. blaq19

    blaq19 New Member

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    Received.Replied. :)
     
  20. blaq19

    blaq19 New Member

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    Will do, we're having dinner on Wednesday. :noes:
     
  21. Hope all goes well. :hug:
     
  22. blaq19

    blaq19 New Member

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    Thanks
     
  23. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    I so totally knew that you'd end up in NY.
     
  24. I wish everyone was on the west coast instead of the east. I still think OT Closet Meet would be :bowrofl: x infinity.
     
  25. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    Okay, so this situation sucks. AND it always happens like this, you meet someone who could totally be THE ONE and you have to up and relocate. The issue here, as Sam pointed out, is if you invite him to join you in NY under the auspices of dating, then you are moving way too fast. It will be hot, heavy, and then fail because you do not have a strong enough foundation to support building anything. At the same time, doing the long distance thing can get...interesting. If you decide to date now, with both of you knowing that you'll be leaving soon means that either or both of you will be emotionally holding back as not to be as hurt when you leave. This sucks!

    As Miss E. Badu sang, "I guess I'll see you next lifetime..."

    Sam's idea sounds like the best way to get organic growth, but that still leaves the door open to the same drama that plagues Long Distance and Open relationships.

    Good luck with whatever you decide.
     

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