So, she is coming back...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by FlakBait, Dec 20, 2006.

  1. FlakBait

    FlakBait New Member

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    Six months ago my gf (of 2 years) left for the east coast to go to school. We had been having problems before she left and didn't leave on the very best of terms. I loved her, but I could not justify to myself going with her because of my doubts. She said we were on a break :)ugh: ) but I felt it was more permanent. We made love the night before she left and had a tearful goodbye.

    As the months have gone on I've found myself thinking less and less of her. We used to talk on the phone a lot...that slowly stopped, then texting...but that too has slowed to a trickle. Over this time I found myself rehashing the entire relationship, especially the run-up to her leaving. In fact, before she left I had pretty good evidence that she cheated on me while on an apartment finding trip before moving to the east coast. I should of ended it there, but I was love-blinded I guess. I've found myself starting to hate her, and now its as if I don't want to even see her.

    In the past 2 weeks, out of no where it seems, she has started texting and IM'ing me again saying that she misses me, and is looking forward to seeing me. Its as if I'm being buttered-up for her return. I haven't really fell for it, but it just keeps coming...even if I don't return the text (out of 8 I've only responded to 1...did NOT say I miss you back). Hell, one of her messages was "Are you ready for me to come back?"

    I'm just wondering what's going on. She comes back tomorrow and I'm not really sure how I'm going to react. I feel a lot of pain when I think about her...its as if the good parts of our relationship were replaced with my thinking about the bad (and oh, were they bad).

    I mean, does it sound like I was her back-up? :squint:
     
  2. StopDrop&LOL

    StopDrop&LOL "Where The Elite Become Champions"

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    I dont know her whole background, nor yours, but if you suspected her of cheating on you, chances are youre right. I thought my ex was cheatin on me, but didnt want to believe it. I found out later she was.

    From what you've said, it sounds like she might have had something set up out in cali where she was going to school and it fell through. Now she wants that comfort she once had, you. She doesnt want to come home and be alone.

    One thing that ruins a lot of relationships is lack-of-communication. Its what seperated me & my ex. Why not talk to her? Just be straight up. Just say something along the lines of 'we've been apart for so long, i think theres some things we need to talk about' and just go from there.

    It sounds like you dont want to move on, or you wouldnt have made this thread. Nothings wrong with that, we are all human and we all have feelings. Just be mature about it and tell her 'whatever you tell me, wont hurt me or make me look at you in a different way, just be honest with me' and go from there.
     
  3. FlakBait

    FlakBait New Member

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    Well, I do want to move on and I don't. I just feel all confused inside. If she truly cheated on me, she's history...but I don't know for sure. Plus, her cheating on me after 2 years without breaking it off first is just unforgiveable. :wtc:
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Trust us...save yourself some future confusion and suspicion. Stay out of communication with her.

    Sure, you might feel bad about a possible missed opportunity, but in the long run, you'll probably be better off.
     
  5. keleko

    keleko yes, he is

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    .
     
  6. :smile:

    :smile: New Member

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    there's your answer.. find out first! you might see her and fall in love all over again. like stopdrop&LOL said, talk to her, it's been a while maybe take things slow for a bit make sure the chemistry is still there before you get caught up in the stuff from before she left
     
  7. deznutz

    deznutz New Member

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    Sounds like something like my situation. Loved this girl, hung out every night, i just didnt make a move (which was a horrible, regretable mistake because i knew she was hinting twords it...) she graduated, now after 1 year we start talking again, and now i am going to hang out with her on thursday, i feel its a 2nd chance...so im going for it.
     
  8. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    The problem here is that you've spend six months getting over her. he up and LEFT and wrote you off. You *know* she's been with other guys, and now she's coming back? Why do people reward this type of behavior? :dunno: If some woman leaves me, goes and sleeps around, there is NO WAY I am going to take her back.

    It's not a second chance, it's a step (fall!) backwards. You're in a prime position to tell her - politely and maturely - something like "Hey, you know, we had our time, and now we are over. There's really not much more to it. I really don't see a reason to get back together. I wish you all the best." and break contact.

    The most difficult problems I see people having are where they go back to their ex, try to fix things, etc., and finally they fail again. The problem here is often that you're giving someone (her) a second chance to do the same thing to you all over again. You are giving her all the power and decision making roles. YOU need to make a decision that is best for YOU.

    Is it *really* the best thing for you to go back into a relationship that you know (1) doesn't work (2) failed before (3) likely will fail again and (4) maybe you got cheated on [note: if you suspect cheating, you probably are correct.]

    Why not find a nice woman who treats you with more respect? You're getting walked all over here, in my opinion. :squint:
     
  9. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    That's totally different, but YES make a move next time! :bigthumb:
     
  10. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You should stop thinking things like "am I her backup?"

    The real question you need to be evaluating right now is "how do I really feel about her? Do I want to be with her? Do I even want to see her?"

    You technically have the upper hand her, no one says you HAVE to see her man.
     
  11. FlakBait

    FlakBait New Member

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    I am getting walked all over....fuck her.
     
  12. low20

    low20 Member

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    sounds like she needs a hookup for x-mas break....id say dont mess with her, cuz its gonna mess with your head and you will be pissed abut it when she goes back...
     
  13. notsousual

    notsousual New Member

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    Poco always brings the light to any situation.



    If for nothing else, walk away as not to ruin the progress you've made in getting over her. It takes people a long time to move on, and if you're already partway through the process, it's not fair to you at all to mess it up, ESPECIALLY if she's being how she is.
     
  14. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Agreed.

    Going back just reminds me of a story I read a few days ago - some guys got rescued from sea and there were sharks in the water or something, and something happened and they both jumped back in the water. I mean ... :eek3: what the fuck?

    So many guys remind me of this - just finally were rescued and jump back in with the shark. WHY? :mamoru:
     
  15. Nucleartiger

    Nucleartiger Clemson makes my nipples hard

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    update?
    Did she drop by on her first day back in town?
     

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