i'm so bloody over this gay thing. the last 2 guys i've dated wound up being creeps who abandoned me, the first after spending about 3 days acting like a dick, which i assumed meant the "afterglow" was done, the sex was getting old, and he was telling me he didn't have the balls to end it like a man, but then he told me he was flying to phoenix, coming back the same day, he was going to stay in my apartment that night. didn't call until 3 *weeks* later, was drunk, said "eeey hunter, this is your lover mang", and i hung up on him. the last was even worse. went out with me for about 3 weeks. i was real sketched at the beginning, since i think i was the first guy he was ever "with", he said he was bisexual, had a record, former gangbanger (probably a lie). but he was such a fucking gentleman, opened doors, kissed me at random times, esp. when other people were watching (a huge plus in my book), had a total "you and me against the world" attitude. turns out i was totally right to be sketch, since finally after 3 weeks i let him sleep over at my place and he waited for me to shower in the morning and stole my fucking phone and ipod. what the fuck? i know my standards have been a bit low but i've stopped sleeping with guys the first day i meet them, and i've set certain benchmarks on behavior for a guy i want to actually have a relationship with, and i thought i was doing enough to find someone decent, not a saint, just fucking decent. thus, i'm over men. the killer is i get along so much better with women, i find i have had the deepest emotional connections with women, but i can't force myself to be attracted to them physically, so i can't bring myself to date them. my best friend has actually gone to therapy to try to get over me, since i'll be so close with her and then nix when she wants to get more serious. it hurts a lot to say it, but i really, really hate being gay.