LGBT so over it..

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by pulp priest, Aug 1, 2007.

  1. pulp priest

    pulp priest we're here! we're queer! we don't want any more be

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    i'm so bloody over this gay thing.
    the last 2 guys i've dated wound up being creeps who abandoned me, the first after spending about 3 days acting like a dick, which i assumed meant the "afterglow" was done, the sex was getting old, and he was telling me he didn't have the balls to end it like a man, but then he told me he was flying to phoenix, coming back the same day, he was going to stay in my apartment that night. didn't call until 3 *weeks* later, was drunk, said "eeey hunter, this is your lover mang", and i hung up on him.
    the last was even worse. went out with me for about 3 weeks. i was real sketched at the beginning, since i think i was the first guy he was ever "with", he said he was bisexual, had a record, former gangbanger (probably a lie). but he was such a fucking gentleman, opened doors, kissed me at random times, esp. when other people were watching (a huge plus in my book), had a total "you and me against the world" attitude. turns out i was totally right to be sketch, since finally after 3 weeks i let him sleep over at my place and he waited for me to shower in the morning and stole my fucking phone and ipod. what the fuck?

    i know my standards have been a bit low but i've stopped sleeping with guys the first day i meet them, and i've set certain benchmarks on behavior for a guy i want to actually have a relationship with, and i thought i was doing enough to find someone decent, not a saint, just fucking decent.

    thus, i'm over men. the killer is i get along so much better with women, i find i have had the deepest emotional connections with women, but i can't force myself to be attracted to them physically, so i can't bring myself to date them. my best friend has actually gone to therapy to try to get over me, since i'll be so close with her and then nix when she wants to get more serious.

    it hurts a lot to say it, but i really, really hate being gay.
     
  2. Priest Tango

    Priest Tango Custom User Tits

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    women are better?
     
  3. dude101

    dude101 New Member

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    i think every gay man gets along with women soo much better...but damn thats a major bummer :hug:
     
  4. dude101

    dude101 New Member

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    :ugh:...:rofl:
     
  5. Priest Tango

    Priest Tango Custom User Tits

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    amirite? though?
     
  6. Killgunner

    Killgunner OT Supporter

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    Try watching a lot of straight porn without staring at the pensis... might help.
     
  7. pulp priest

    pulp priest we're here! we're queer! we don't want any more be

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    in almost every way.
    i just don't want to rip their clothes off.

    i suppose you're right, i'm not sure why i thought that i was different in that respect. i know that women come on to me somewhat frequently, and every person thus far (except my dad, who won't admit it but i'm pretty sure my mom told him before i did) has been shocked to find out i'm gay. i've always been mildly proud of this fact, since i'm able to befriend even the most homophobic straight men, and i absolutely love dropping the bomb on them and seeing how uncomfortable they get, thinking of all the nasty closed-minded shit they've said thinking no gay people were listening. i developed this over about 5 years of trying my damndest to make myself straight, or at least straight enough that i'd never have to come out. but lately i'm starting to thing that my lack of any stereotypically gay attributes is a handicap, since i'm having serious trouble meeting good, sweet, dateable gay men. i haven't run through the bar scene since i got so discouraged after giving up sex-on-the-first-day, since bar rats will all but laugh in your face when you ask them to call the next day. anyway, i think what i was trying to say is i prefer the company of women to straight or gay or bi men any day.

    tried and failed..many times. i used to start with straight porn, then move to gay porn when i couldnt get off, then tear myself apart because of my "lack of will power". i grew up a devout catholic, even believed it all until i was about 15...so my homosexual urges were tar running through my veins and a black mark on my heart, and giving into them was a slap in the face of god, and an assurance that i was hell-bound. if you can't tell, i was a seriously depressed teenager. looking back i'm somewhat surprised i never had the balls to kill myself, given how many gay kids in strict religious environments wind up dying that way. i certainly considered it.
    but in short, no, that won't help, any more than i could learn to enjoy fucking my dog through long hours of the discovery channel. not sure why so many people find that so hard to understand.
     
  8. pulp priest

    pulp priest we're here! we're queer! we don't want any more be

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    yah, connections through friends are nice, although many of my friends worry that they'd seem simple, or officious even, if they assume that the 2 gay people they know might want to date. i may have helped instill this belief in them. oops.
     
  9. RyRy

    RyRy Active Member

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    :wavey:

    welcome to the forum. Where are you from? Age? Pics?
     
  10. RyRy

    RyRy Active Member

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    Just trying to get more info so I can understand where the poster is coming from :dunno:
     
  11. dude101

    dude101 New Member

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    :ugh:...does that answer ur question...:rofl:
     
  12. dude101

    dude101 New Member

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    thats almost impossible to do...:eek3:
     
  13. RyRy

    RyRy Active Member

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    :werd:
     
  14. dude101

    dude101 New Member

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    yikes...:eek3: that must have been killer..!!!

    as long as ur mildly proud.. then ur :bigthumb: in my BOOK
    and omg i love it when that happens..i love seeing the most homophobic str8 men face's when i tell them i'm gay...that always bring joy to my life :wiggle:




    the bar/club scene looking for someone to date/find was the worst experience of my life..{everyone turned out to be psychos :eek3:}
    sex on the frist date is always a :nono: in my book been there done that thats just soo wrong now...
    and when these bar rats laugh in ur face..all you do is throw ur drink in there face...:rofl: (just be ready for a nice lil fight :cool:)
    try myspacing it :dunno:..i've met the man of my dreams priest..on it..:):love:

    women are amazing to talk 2...to bad all my friends are str8 and dudes...


    OHH YEA welcome...:wavey:
     
  15. Diesel Freak

    Diesel Freak ♂♂ Closet Crew OT Supporter

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    I understand your struggles. Perhaps a bit of counseling would be beneficial. Sounds like you're a bit of a self-loathing queer. :dunno:

    Anyway, I thought I'd never meet the right person. I was slightly uncomfortable with myself, and I didn't particularly care to interact with my peers. However, over the past two years, I've been able to accept myself more and more, to the point where I think I'm very comfortable with who I am. I've also found a wonderful man. He lives 500 miles away, but I cherish every moment that I spend with him. Hopefully we'll be a lot closer to each other in the near future. :)

    I wish you all the best. Don't give up on yourself, and just keep doing what feels right in your heart. :wiggle:
     
  16. busydoingnothing

    busydoingnothing A broken man too tough to cry

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    :hug: Man, I'm sorry to find pleasure in your suffering, but I'm glad to hear this coming from a gay man. I'm like you're (mostly) straight counterpart, man. I'm usually pretty awful with talking to women but have almost no problem talking to guys. Amidst all my obsessing over my sexuality, I try to force myself to like gay porn more than I actually do (it's good for a wank every once in a while).

    If it makes you feel any better, the grass isn't any greener on this side of the fence, man. It's just as rough, and trying to force yourself over the fence only makes it rougher.
     
  17. ManyHamsters

    ManyHamsters There are necessary pursuits... but poetry, beauty

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    same here =\ love talking to women, but i only seem to find the scum gays



    :bowrofl: i like you already
     
  18. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    NOOOO.... Womenz are EVIL :eek3:. I have an intense dislike for my own kind :mamoru:
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2007
  19. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    eh... we all go through that phase...
     
  20. ExDelayed

    ExDelayed New Member

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    Ive been where pulp is, and, as I had to learn, as I am sure most everyone else has from the sounds of the posts, a LTR isnt going to be someone you fuck on the first night and are boyfriends with by the end of the week. Sure, it is fun for a short fling but it only adds drama and shit to what, at times, can feel like a difficult life.

    Closeted gays, FTL. Been there, done that, never again. Id probably be there for one who is just coming out, but I would never date him while he is still closeted. Stolid's recent experience is the perfect example as to why.

    I guess I am the freak, but I get along with straight men a lot better then I do the gay counterpart. Women are even worse and (no offense intended to anyone here) but most lesbians I have met are the devil. The more butch they are the more we clash.

    Stick with meeting guys through friends. A friend, even a friend of a friend, probably isnt going to set you up with someone who is going to take your stuff or just be a user. They know these people and know what kind of person they really are.

    Probably the best thing to remember. You will never find someone that is relationship material while you are actively looking. The good guys can sense that you are desperate and will stay away, the only ones you will find are the ones that want to fuck you and take your shit.

    The first guy reminds me a lot of my most recent ex. I know he spent a bit in Phoenix but recently moved to SLC. Reason? Nobody would give him handouts while he sat at home on the couch watching cartoons. :rolleyes:
     
  21. pulp priest

    pulp priest we're here! we're queer! we don't want any more be

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    ill post a pic when i find one i like.
    i'm 22, from LA.
     
  22. pulp priest

    pulp priest we're here! we're queer! we don't want any more be

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    who is that in your avatar?
    if it's you i might have to move to missouri.
    :hsugh:
     
  23. Diesel Freak

    Diesel Freak ♂♂ Closet Crew OT Supporter

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    Kinda-sorta looks like him. :naughtyd:
     
  24. pulp priest

    pulp priest we're here! we're queer! we don't want any more be

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    that's a good, straightforward way to put it...
    but...doesn't it mean i'm not perfect? i dont think i can handle that.
    :drool:
    half the time i heard stuff like that it makes me melt, knowing some gay people found happiness in the world...
    the other half it makes me homicidal.
     
  25. Diesel Freak

    Diesel Freak ♂♂ Closet Crew OT Supporter

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    Don't feel homicidal about it. Your time will come. It's all about patience. I had sort of given up on my pursuit of a partner, and Mr. Right just happened to show up. :)

    So yeah, time for pics of you so we can cheer you up.
     

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