FRK So my wife has decided that she wants her very own penis. v. wellendowed

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Variant, Nov 21, 2005.

  1. Variant

    Variant Cast in the name of God, ye not guilty.

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    I was originally going to post this in the main forum, but then I decided I might want some semi-serious answers so I decided to post it in FS.

    OT, what do you make of this?



    Convo with the wife this weekend as we were driving to dinner Sat. night (she brought this up totally out of the blue):

    Her: What would you think if I woke up one morning and had a penis?
    Me: Uh....I'm not sure....?
    Her: Would you divorce me?
    Me: .... I don't think so .... as long as it wasn't bigger than mine. *shrug*
    Her: It would be very small. To start.
    Me: Ok...would you still have a vagina?
    Her: Yes.
    Me: Ok....I probably wouldn't divorce you then.
    Her: What would you do if my penis started growing and got so big that I had to wear special pants? Would you divorce me then?
    Me: :eek4:
    Her: :hsugh:

    So evidently my wife secretly fantasizes about having a dick so gigantic that normal clothes wouldn't fit.

    And here I was thinking I was the perverted one. :coolugh:

    She's played this "would you divorce me if...." game with me lots of times before (would you divorce me if my legs got chopped off, would you divorce me if I weighed 600 lbs., etc), but me leaving her because she's sporting a huge luscious hog was never factored into the equation before.
     
  2. xela

    xela So say we all!

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    Maybe she fantisizes about dominating you and being the one who penetrates you for once? Perhaps it was her way of seeing your reaction to it?
     
  3. Variant

    Variant Cast in the name of God, ye not guilty.

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    No idea. She's never mentioned anything like it before. :dunno:

    The weird thing is she's always been extremely skittish about anything sexually kinky before, so I was totally taken by surprise when she started talking about how she might like having a huge dick the other day. :eek3:
     
  4. BaneBoi

    BaneBoi ƒł٤şħ Ąđđίçŧ

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  5. FifthGear

    FifthGear -

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    sounds like a crotchless strap on is needed:bigok:
     
  6. TigreTek

    TigreTek omega member OT Supporter

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    :dunno: why, but i'm thinking the strap-on conversation is going to happen at some point...
     
  7. Variant

    Variant Cast in the name of God, ye not guilty.

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    She didn't mention anything like that, but I was thinking the same thing. Like I said, she's pretty skittish about sex so I'd bet she brought this up just to see my reaction, like xela said. She swore up and down that it was "just talk", but I don't believe that. Why would you suddenly and for no apparent reason ask your husband what he'd think if you had a huge dick? We weren't talking about anything in particular when she blurted the question out and we definitely weren't talking about anything sexual. :dunno:

    The size thing would worry me more than my wife wanting to wear a strap-on, though. The fact she was talking about having a dick so large she'd need to wear special clothing makes me wonder how big she'd want her strap-on to be. :eek3: :noes:

    I've known for a while that she definitely has a size-queen aspect to her sexual personality, but I always assumed she wanted to be on the receiving end of a big one.
     
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2005
  8. TigreTek

    TigreTek omega member OT Supporter

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    well, if you're open to the idea (you may enjoy it :noes: :) ) head it off and talk to her about it. no sense in her getting worked up with the idea of fisting you when you're up for just a finger... ;)
     
  9. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    :rofl:
    that got way too funny...

    but in all seriousness *chuckle* you should just straight up ask her if she's toying with the idea of being a little more kinky in the bedroom, for instance, strap-ons. You never know where it could get you, perhaps you'll even become "one of us" and start a freaky lifestyle all your own.
     
  10. Variant

    Variant Cast in the name of God, ye not guilty.

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    You have no idea how much that would please me. :naughty:

    I don't necessarily want to be killed by my wife while she's wearing a strap-on the size of my arm, but whenever I've suggested anything even the tiniest bit more perverted than normal sex, she's never had the slightest interest. I did get her to try nipple clamps once, but only once.

    We'll have to see where this leads...
     
  11. TigreTek

    TigreTek omega member OT Supporter

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    do eet!
     
  12. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    talking is the sure fire way to getting what you want without a ton of drama


    in other words, I wouldn't recommend springing anything on her... not that you were thinking about doing that to begin with, but just for safety's sake, i think it should be said :hs:
     
  13. Variant

    Variant Cast in the name of God, ye not guilty.

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    Oh, I definitely would. I have no intention of springing anything on her. To say I'm curious about why she brought this up is an understatement, though.
     
  14. FifthGear

    FifthGear -

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    keep us updated :big grin:
     
  15. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Just buy her a strap-on. Something you think you can handle. Take this to the next level.
     
  16. Variant

    Variant Cast in the name of God, ye not guilty.

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    I was going to ask her tonight just how big she'd want her fantasy cock to be. She didn't just say "it would be big", she made sure to say that it wouldn't fit into normal clothes, so I'm interested in hearing just what kind of a freak monster penis my wife envisions having. :rofl:
     
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2005
  17. FifthGear

    FifthGear -

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  18. Mikey

    Mikey This one, this form I hold now, so Wide eyed and h

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    yea, I see that in your near future
     
  19. Smoked

    Smoked $5.50? Man fuck the avatar...how about you just sh

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    Maybe she just has a delicious sense of humor.
     
  20. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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  21. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Get David Shade's manual and hypnotize her to have a penis.
     
  22. FifthGear

    FifthGear -

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    :naughty::rofl:
     
  23. DarthKoRn

    DarthKoRn New Member

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    Buy her a strap on.
     
  24. Daddy O

    Daddy O New Member

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    Location:
    The Armadillo World Headquarters
    The Top 10 Things Women Would Do if They Had A Penis For a Day

    10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.

    9. Get a blow job.

    8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating meat.

    7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at the urinal.

    6. Determine why you can't hit the bowl consistently.

    5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.

    4. Touch/Shift yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may be to others.

    3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.

    2. Understand the reason for the light refraction that occurs between man's eyes and the
    ruler situated next to his member.

    And the # 1 thing a women would do is:

    1. Repeat # 9.
     
  25. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    This is also a possibitlity. I once asked "out of the blue" if he would eat a cat for $500...




    ...he said yes. :mamoru: :love:
     

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